Temporary Madness

Finding A Match

2007-12-28T13:23:00.000+08:00

It all starts with a want, a need, or both. You have requirements you have to meet and qualifications to be fulfilled. You set parameters and recognize your limits. You think of what you can willingly give and what you want to receive in return. You familiarize yourself with the details - from where they will be kept, how they will be fed, and how they will survive in unfamiliar territory.

Naturally, the search comes next. The tedious and often-tiring search for that one perfect match.

You find ones that are very qualified - impressive backgrounds and promising personalities - but then they refuse your offer because, well, theyre just too good for it.

Then there are those who come to you first, bugging you everyday for a reply. They can either make contact directly, or if theyre new to it or just apprehensive of the whole process, they ask for the help of a mediator. You can choose to build a relationship with the middleman or the subject - depends on how you meet halfway and agree upon the conditions of your exchange.

Some nonchalantly check you out. Other scrutinize every single detail.

Some choose to show great interest in the beginning, only to stop responding and leave you hanging - never making their presence felt ever again.

Still, a few good ones do get through sometimes. Casual meetings, informal talks, and constant communication that keep your hopes up for a match. But then you find out that theyre not ready to invest more than what they have already shown. Either they were just testing the waters or were in it for fun. Or they werent ready. Or were afraid.

Some who are just not good enough often resort to subtle sweettalk or annoying arrogance, incessantly insisting that the job is for them when in fact, they are of poor quality. Only they dont realize it.

Then of course there are the elusive and the indecisive. They express their interest one day, and then you receive nothing the rest of the week. Another message comes through, ambiguous and cryptic yes, but you still reply anyway in the hope that a decision is finally made. But it takes days, weeks, even months for your actions to be reciprocated. And then it happens again and again until it becomes repulsive.

Lets not forget the matches that fit yours perfectly. Everything looks good until you find out that theyre already someone else's perfect match. They may actually be interested, though in secret, and you can try to negotiate and get it back - but you cant break the rules - you know its too late.

One could go on narrating the many situations to be in, the many dilemmas to be encountered, and the countless deadends to be faced. Some people may think youre more qualified than the rest, even pushing you to be more aggressive to get what you deserve. Some see you as someone ahead of your time or someone who has completely fallen behind.
But who cares what other people think? Its getting the job done that will matter in the end. And no matter how hard you work for it, how much time and effort you invest in it, or how badly you want it - as long as you dont have a match, your very purpose is left unfulfilled.

So you go on with the search, going after who you think is right, even letting go of whatever is left with you. And until you find that match, although far from the ideal, but still perfect for you...

thats when you find out that it was all worth it.

Do I really want this?

2007-10-15T23:51:00.000+08:00

Taking it from Kiel's YM status, the question got me thinking.

We often get ourselves into things that we end up either loving or regretting. I think there's no gray area there, because if you really love something, then youre gonna want to keep on doing it despite of everything that may get in the way. If not, then you eventually reach a point where you try to evaluate if what youre doing is even worth all the effort that youve put into whatever you started.

***

Most people have a bad habit of wanting to always be in the right direction, of wanting to know exactly where to go and what to do - when in fact they dont. Because the point really is to find out what is actually happening, and not dwell on how you picture them to be. We think that if we do what were supposed to do then everything will work out just the way we wanted them to. But most of the time, fate plays with us and things screw up - but we keep on believing it anyway.

I say instead of asking what youre supposed to do, why not ask yourself again? Do you really want it? Do you want it here and now? Knowing what you should do can come easily - its figuring out how to do it thats hard.

***
Hah. Writing for everyone to see makes one feel so vulnerable and relieved at the same time.
Maybe thats what makes people keep on doing it - knowing that you are being judged by someone else other than yourself.

Dominique wants to save the world

2007-10-10T04:08:00.000+08:00

Dominique

Of the lord "Latin"

Loving to take the initiative you are a person who gets things done and you accept the responsibility of leadership roles willingly no matter what the challenge. You base your decisions on intellect rather than emotion but always act with pure motives. Your strength of will and communication skills are such that you are an influential figure and likely to succeed in anything which you turn your attention to.

Nikki

Victorious people "Greek"

You are fairminded, wise and peaceloving and are always willing to help others. Your mental capabilities and creativity are well marked with wonderful and original ideas which you need to bring to tangible fruition. Perceptive and understanding of others your positive approach to life and influential nature means that you have leadership qualities. There is great potential for success both financially and spiritually.

The boy's and girl's name Dominique \d(o)-mini-que, dom(i)-nique\ is pronounced dom-ih-NEEK. It is of French and Latin origin, and its meaning is "lord". Feminine form of Dominic. Appropriate for a girl born on Sunday, "the Lord's day".

Ive always liked my French name. And I like how I dont have a second name - I mean, why confuse people with multiple names? Despite having been mistaken for a boy before (nung NEAT exam, akala nila lalaki si "Dominique Librada" - haha), I like my name just fine.

My Lolo actually named me. And its pretty ironic how I just found out now that it means "lord" because I was actually born on Resurrection Day. Uy, trivia trivia! haha!

***
Last CWTS report later! Im actually happy that we got more than enough funds to help renovate the library and future venue for Pag-aalay ng Puso Foundation's adult literacy program. Our visits to Navotas sure made me realize how many poor children are deprived of education, how many families are left with no food on the table, and how many homes are ravaged every time there's an outpour of rain. There's so much work to be done that sometimes, the thought of effecting change becomes impossible to the dispirited. And yet, despite the adversity, there still exists people who give up their worldly ambitions to help others get a hold of their own dreams.

It may have started from wanting to get a passing grade, but thanks to the efforts of our group and to the kind people of the foundation, I think we did a good job "paying it forward" :)

Yep, thats me hammering all right. Now if only I could learn how to actually hold on to the hammer... (lumipad kasi yung hammer nung ako na yung nagpupukpok - masyado kasing bigay na bigay - haha!)

I'll make a BIG change in the world too someday - just wait and see. Im not a self-proclaimed Supergirl for nothing - for kids like these ones right here

***

I had a meeting with Ms. Caroline Burns of the Entrepreneurs School of Asia this morning, with VP Dale (to so conveniently back me up) and of course, the very mabait Kiel for support. I felt like a true AIESECer again while talking to Remy who is from India and Ms Burns whom I assume is American. Just when I thought we were screwed because of the postponed PBOX (Project Based on Exchange), we were given a last chance to redeem ourselves and bring the social entrepreneurship program back to life. This, I think, is where my not-so-secret vision for ICX will begin - lets bring back the "golden age" of the UP local chapter of the world's largest student run organization, shall we? :P (that was a mouthful, whew)

***
Today would have to be doomsday #1 for me too. I dont think I want to know how low I got in the deadly f*ckcounting exam. I just want this week to be over with so we can get on with our lives and be merry again. No more bank reconciliations, no more NAIRUS, no more statistical hypotheses - only cable tv to keep me company and some chips and chocnut to boot.

(Ah yes, not to mention sabaw friends who shall head for the amusement park in a week! Woot!)
***
Ang keso ay nakakahawa. Yun lang

my palm reading

2007-09-05T21:03:00.001+08:00

as heard from the tape recording of our interview of Bro. Erle for our Comm3 class assignment

Amidst our converstation about libertosophy, the power of dreams, opening the third eye, finding your soulmate, and meeting Jesus and Mary...

*mystic looks at my palm's love line*

Bro Erle: "ahh you know..you see, the line is cut, you know..the line goes here and then it gets cut..then suddenly the second line, you know.."

*pause*

AND THEN HE BURSTS OUT LAUGHING :|

Bro Erle: "haha.. sorry..you gotta fix something in your love breed (?), *di ko maintindihan yung sinabi nya after*... most especially because youre a numbers woman..maybe thats part of it..you may want..you may love your career more than your lovelife, and then you may end up (hesitates) not deciding to marry later..even if right now...yooou...uhh, do you have a boyfriend right now?"

Nikki: "No."
Bro Erle: "..no?"
Nikki: "Ive never had one."
Bro Erle: "Okay, even if you had a boyfriend, you know. You really have to do something to fix your love line."

***
Ugh.
As if I didnt know that yet. HAHA.

with or without the red cape

2007-07-16T02:04:00.000+08:00

Aiming high is only good until youve fallen of the ledge from looking too far ahead. It is never wrong to dream big and believe that you can do things that youve never done before, except that, of course, you actually have to know how to get them done to cease the dream from being what it is.

I took in more than I could swallow, and here I am choking at my little mistakes that have piled up right in my face. I tried and tried more than I could have ever imagined - walking in the middle of the night, staying up until the morning, and even rushing through the day - trying to cope with the demands of my responsibilities. But I was too overwhelmed, too tired, and too disheartened.

I never wanted to appear weak and helpless, but now that I am, I admit to losing faith and losing ground. People tell me to "chill" and "relax" all the time, but thats pretty hard to do when you feel like youre letting other people down for every idle second you spend for yourself.

I had to learn the hard way - but it doesnt stop there.

The learning will continue, and this time, I know and will do better.

Thank you for keeping me going.

happy tired

2007-06-19T13:57:00.000+08:00

I want and need more TIME!

Time to write...and time to do everything else.

*exhales*

Im tired everyday, yes, but happy :)

the story of my life

2007-06-04T22:22:00.003+08:00

"I lay it down as a general rule, Harriet, that if a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. If she can hesitate as to "Yes," she ought to say "No" directly. It is not a state to be safely entered into with doubtful feelings, with half a heart." - Emma by Jane Austen

I want to stop doubting and finally start believing.

Blech. Keso.

***
I WANT CHEESECAAAKE!

Kwentong Promdi

2007-05-29T19:52:00.000+08:00

Tunay ngang nagsilbing hudyat ng painbagong buhay ang paglipat namin dito sa Laguna ng aking pamilya noong Linggo ng Pagkabuhay. (Mahirap magsulat ng deretsong Tagalog, kung kaya’t…) If before I was being teased of living way too down south (because I lived at the edge of Metro Manila literally), imagine the irony now that I actually live in the province. Coming home all the way from Katipunan Avenue every week would seem like a recurring puke-trigging road trip to some. In my case, the one to two-and-a-half drive is just like any other. Occasional butt-pains are felt ever so often from heavy traffic, yes. But running on several highways on one single journey, so to speak, has become a routinary gas-burning episode of my life.

I never really felt the probinsya-vibe until I found out that neither Smart, Globe, nor PLDT, could provide our house (which is located at the far side of the village) with much-needed internet. Shit, no YM, no X-ing, no life? Thoughts of not being able to check my mail for replies from Europe, making chichi while chatting until 3am, downloading new songs and videos, or checking Multiply for incriminating pictures bothered me for days. DSL was fun and fast and fitting, but due to unwanted circumstances, I had to say goodbye to it and bear with 14.2 kbps dial-up internet in the dorm and costly Katipunan and Paseo internet cafes. Left with no choice, I got used to it and eventually learned to appreciate having to go back to the bygone Friendster-less days. I started reading, writing, and playing the piano again. I cleaned my room twice over, and even more fulfilling was being able to jog as the sun rose and set. Things I never had the time or effort to do back in “the metro” suddenly became part of my daily routine – and everything was great.

That was until summer said byebye and dark clouds started appearing.

I’ve always been a lover of rain. Call me narrow-minded for not minding how it causes flooding, traffic, and interruption in other people’s lives, but I’ve always liked the feeling of crisp air and the sight of trickling rain drops. I like how I can be safely snug on my bed, with my blanket over me, and just listen to the beating of the rainwater. But recently, I’ve been struggling to hold on to that liking for heavy downpours because of the unusual aftermath we experience here in Santa Rosa.

Once the sky starts clearing up and the drizzle stops, what-seems-like drunken frogs start singing (if you can call it that). Sure, Ive heard how normal frogs sound, but here, they noise is far from the ordinary Kokak! Either they sound like little cows mooing or rubber duckies being stepped on, I don’t know. And sure, it’s good to be close to nature every once in a while, but I think this is just far too funny to be considered good ecology.

If you think loud and high Kermits are annoying enough, just wait until you see how were swarmed by gamo-gamos. We actually have instant insect-killing gadgets at home – from repellant candles to tennis-like electrocuters to bug-zappers. But somehow, the flying lesser butterflies manage to get inside the house and adore the bright lights. Were left with no choice but to turn off most of the lights at night and pray that they don’t take revenge on us for massacreing their relatives and friends. Our floors have to be constantly sweeped for twitching wings too. In fact, while Im typing this now, a single pesky gamo-gamo is trying to spy on my personal blog because of the brightness of the laptop. Shoo!

Of course, there’s a tad bit of exaggeration in my frog and gamo-gamo dilemmas. It’s really not as bad as it sounds because they only happen after the rain and theyre more bearable than bad karaoke singers and outrageous bus drivers. But still, dealing with frogs and gamo-gamos is funny, annoying, and weird all at the same time. I don’t think I can really put up with it the long run, but for now I guess all I can do is try to get used to it. I am an animal of a higher phylum, gifted with reason and intelligence unlike any other. Im sure I can outwit those amphibians and insects.

Right?

The beach...at last!

2007-05-15T20:59:00.000+08:00

AIESEC UPD's Year Planning-Seminar
Al Fresco Resort, Matabungkay, Lian, Batangas

From the unbearable karaoke singers, sex-y couple, 35-peso slippers, She's The Man marathon, drool-sessions over Channing Tatum, serious brainstorming, birth of *kaching* ideas, beach leg of "cheter" photoshoot, beer-pouring, lost earrings, volleyball and futsal on sand, drunken games, down to the very emo ultimate bonding experiences, my first ever plansem was definitely a blast! Woot!

Let the photos speak for themselves :D

*because im only on dial-up now, the photos are taking ages to load, so just visit the pictures at my multiply!*

On Being a Used-To-Be-Freshie

2007-05-11T10:34:00.000+08:00

For the first time in a long summer-schoolday-time, I woke up before Detective Conan was even on TV yesterday. With only 2 hours of sleep, I was awakened by the rush of adrenaline that pushed me to meet AJ’s meeting time of nine o’clock. I arrived at BA and met with Henry, Alexis, AJ, and eventually Denise, whom we all depended on to jumpstart winning over dear freshies’ innocent hearts and minds.

“Welcome to BA! Join UP AIESEC!” was my line for the morning as I rushed to every freshie-looking student that came out of the P&G Room, handing out flyers.

I noticed how some of them found it weird to have strangers come up to them, like predators patiently waiting for their prey. Some others were too busy looking for their Mommies, and the rest seemed to get along well with their newfound (or old high school) friends.

I remember my first day in BA just like it was yesterday.

*daydream sequence begins here*

I scanned the room for old friends, potential friends, and well, boy_friends (if you know what I mean). I remember noticing Tanya because of her long brown hair and petite build, and Jorell, just because no one can miss him. Resisting distraction, I finally paid attention to all the alien terms they were telling us but still got lost in the unfamiliarity of the Form5As, Records, and GWA-requirements anyway. Just when I was gathering enough saliva to strike up a conversation with the girl to my left, we were finally asked to leave the room and enroll. I heard that Mr. Enrollment in the University had a reputation as dirty as that of Ms. Sunken Garden’s, and although the trip to Palma Hall was a forgettable experience, getting there definitely wasn’t. The semi-long line I found at Palma Hall’s Lobby was new to me since we rarely had to wait in line back in High School. But more than that, I was overwhelmed by the feeling of getting lost in a crowd of totally unfamiliar faces. With only Fio and Chrissie to keep me composed, I was trying to wake up the sleeping independence in me to go through the whole process alone – without looking stupid and lost – which I think is every freshie’s goal on his first day.

*daydream sequence ends here*

My first year in college went exactly how they said it would be - weird and scary at first, but it got easier and waaay more fun eventually. I think I would prefer to be a college freshie a little while longer if I were given a choice. But since I am left with nothing but SuperAlmostUS grades and an age that is far from being suitable for a Freshman, I can only say that my first year in UP defined me in ways that I could have never imagined. I met amazing people, with brilliant minds and even bigger hearts, and luckily, I even became friends with some of them. I saw, felt, and heard, just about everything and anything I could have had, and had a taste of the unknown, the unfamiliar, and even the unwanted. All the same, I swear that it was all worth it.

So to the incoming freshmen, welcome and beware, because the best days of your lives are yet to come!

Oh, and don’t forget - join UP AIESEC. :P

PS – New batchmates/shiftees, welcome to BA! (Yet another shameless plug) Join baCBAcan!

PS2 – Elaine and friends, welcome to UP! If you need any help getting around, just message me okay? I’ll be more than willing to help. And don’t worry, obviously the memories of being a freshie are still, um, “fresh” to me, so I will try my best to help you get rid of the stigma and confusion. Haha ;)

Swallowing it whole

2007-05-09T23:59:00.000+08:00

Im not one who takes criticisms well. Ive lived my entire life trying to please the people around me, because I grew up that way. But whenever I fail to do so, my self-esteem is crushed.

I know Im not the best writer in the world. In fact, I think I suck at it.
My essays are way too full of clutter.
My sentences are vague.
My words are either too elementary or too deep.
My ideas are far from being direct to the point.
To me, everything just seems wrong - nothing close to how I want them to be.
And I struggle every time I try to get a message across.
Because I grew up that way.

It even makes me wonder why some people even think of me as a "writer".

This isnt false humility or whatever. It isnt something Im proud of, instead, its something Im daring to really work on because I do want to be a better writer and live up to other people's expectations.

More than that, I know that my life is not as exciting, action-packed, or drama-filled as some other people's lives are. I dont have life-changing entries to share, scandalous pics to post, or inspiring blogs to show to the entire world.

Even I cringe whenever I read my past entries. Some I find okay, the rest I find either funny or embarassing. I dont edit or re-read whatever I type because I just let all the thoughts out and click on "Publish." If those were the things I was thinking during that certain time, then I let it be. That's what online journals are for anyway, arent they?

But if people dont like what they read here, or if you dont like the person who writes them, then just dont visit the blog. Its as simple as that.

Yes, I may be being defensive. And yes, I know it's a very petty thing to react to.
Like I said, I dont take criticisms, much more haters, well.
But if writing about it is what it takes to swallow that comment whole, then take this as my goddamned reply.

And by the way, Im back, whether you like it or not.

THIS SITE IS...

2007-05-08T10:51:00.000+08:00

UNDER CONSTRUCTION :)

Im on blog leave.
(Lets see how long this will last..haha!)

Waning super powers

2007-05-04T00:05:00.000+08:00

I seriously need something to happen with my life. Good. Bad. Whatever.

I cant even extract enough emotions or thoughts to start a decent blog entry.

But Ive had enough of you.

Im all burned out. Im tired.

Every single day's been redundant.

Im homesick.

I miss Nino.

And you.

WHEREAREYOU.

Yuck, and emo. Eeeeeeeeew.
Somebody slap me.

***
I think I want to take Yoga classes.

Of accessories & the past

2007-05-01T22:55:00.000+08:00

Past #1:
I heard he broke up with his girlfriend because of seemingly very valid reasons. He's had his heart broken more than once already. He deserves this break from it all.

Past #2:
Everyone's dying to know what the real score is.
Just Imagine my anxiety and plight.

Okay, just to make things clear. By past I mean it in the very sense of the word.

***
An excerpt from a conversation with my best friend:

Nikki Librada: see
Nikki Librada: mas masaya maging single
Nikki Librada: :))
Danielle: HAHAHAHAHA
Danielle: i have to agree
Danielle: lol
Danielle: deh joke lang
Danielle: hahaha
Nikki Librada: D hahaha
Nikki Librada: remember the time when you referred to mikey as your accessory?
Danielle: yeahhh
Danielle: why?
Danielle: did he get mad?
Nikki Librada: haha no
Nikki Librada: now, alexis and i refer to -CENSORED- as "accessories"
Nikki Librada: we want accessories too
Nikki Librada: haha
Danielle: HAHAHAHAHA!
Danielle: got it from E!
Danielle: lol. they call paris hilton's boys her accessories
Danielle: hahah
Nikki Librada: hahahah
Nikki Librada: nice
Nikki Librada: :))
Danielle: so there. yey.
Danielle: eh ikaw naman marami eh
Nikki Librada: wala akong nasusuot eh
Nikki Librada: o:
Nikki Librada: hahaha
Danielle: walang nagkakasya
Danielle: hahahahaha
Nikki Librada: hahaha.. oo. either nahuhulog kasi maluwag, or di man lang magkasya
Nikki Librada: lol
Danielle: hahahaha! exactly! it's amazing!
Danielle: hahaaha!!!
Danielle: bloggable
Danielle: lol
Nikki Librada: exactly what i was thinking :))

It sounds kupal, I know, but the people who know me will get what I mean.

We shall talk more soon hun. See you! :)

How to Properly Make a Wish

2007-04-28T08:17:00.000+08:00

Our Art Stud 2 class has been like a series of kwentuhans, with topics ranging from men playing dama while pooping side by side in the olden times, to Eskimos eating whale flubber and burying their female infants. As much as my back and bottom hurt from sitting for two hours inside the airconditioned classroom, I always found myself leaning forward in attention, trying to digest the many little and big things I learn everyday from our professor.

The other day, we started talking about ghost stories in class to relate it to culture, and then Sir Valenciano began to share some of his own. He told us of the time he consulted a magician who supposedly had the power to see duwendes and other entities, talk to them, and even burn them to show them who’s boss. As the magician was trying to rid our professor of his negative vibes, he noticed how the magician was almost sleeping while trying to concentrate. The magician later on told him that this was the state he had to be in to effectively channel his energy and use his spiritual powers.

Most of the experiences with the supernatural that Sir Valenciano shared to us were completely beyond me. My left brain was restraining my right brain from thinking of the “ghosts” as anything more than what they actually were. My logic refused to digest any truth from the explanations offered by the magician and tried not to remember my own share of experiences with the weird and inexplicable. But at the end of our professor’s lecture that day, he finally shared something that I actually believed in.

He told us that if you wanted to make a wish, do it while lying on your bed before going to sleep. Put yourself in the state of rest and stillness – almost half-asleep just like how the magician was when he was trying to use his “powers.” Try to think about your desire over and over again, until you fall asleep. And in stating your intention, remember to wish it, and not will it. Instead of saying “I will make a million tomorrow!”, say “I wish I finally make money tomorrow.” Willing would be the same as forcing it to happen. Wishing will just be as good as wanting and hoping for it to happen.

Try it. It worked for my professor, even with all the twists and turns his wish had to take.
So far, it’s worked for me too.

Some people just end up dreaming about whatever it was that they thought about. But either way, at least they still lived that wish, even for just a night.

Just keep on wishing. Who knows, it might just come true for you. :)

Rumors

2007-04-23T23:28:00.000+08:00

Are the rumors true that we have batchmates who are now carrying "extra load"?
Dun dun dun dun. O:

***
a) Now I know why you disappeared. You shouldve done something. I waited for you.

b) Nawawala ka na naman. Again.
Oh well. I dont want to go over it again.
Nuf' is nuf. Woot.

Changes

2007-04-21T18:39:00.000+08:00

So we’ve finally moved in to our house in Laguna where there’s no cable, no phone line, and no internet YET. Our house is at the far side of the village where only 2 houses away, they have cable, landline, and Wifi. It’s not exactly as much of a probinsya as some people may think it is, since the area is well-developed with exclusive subdivisions sprouting here and there. Starbucks, Brothers Burger, Figaro, Café Breton, Paquito Mas, etc., are not exactly for the typical promdis, but the vast grass fields, the countless trees, the many creepy-crawlies, and the ceaseless gust of winds are. My parents were actually thinking of going back to Muntinlupa because everything was obviously more convenient there. Even though our old house is only 20 minutes away from where we live now, our setting and lifestyle has changed to a great extent. But if the decision were mine to make, I can sacrifice not having access to cyberspace or 100 channels in exchange for calming winds, mellow tweets, and placid mornings. Because once you’ve experienced having all that you’re capable of having, sometimes, you just find yourself enjoying the very basic things you once took for granted.

***

With only a week of summer classes over, I’ve already found myself constantly bored out of my wits. I never thought it would be nerve-wracking to actually not have anything to do. We’ve resorted to watching 300 twice in two days, spending long hours in coffee shops, indulging in magical donuts, eating junk food at Uday’s convenience store, and even having sisig and kropek with beer (me not included) just to entertain ourselves. And enjoyable and fun as they were, I still find myself yearning for some good old nerdiness. But now that I think of it, this has most probably been the busiest summer I’ve ever had so far. I may not have gone anywhere that resembles a beautiful sandy shoreline kissing sparkling blue water that stretches until the romantic orange horizon, but I sure have created my own horizons to reach.

***

Since the sun has been gloriously scorching our heads, why not match it with a mahogany-colored crown to help reflect those bad UV rays? Okay, so maybe that wasn’t exactly why I dyed my hair, but since it is summer after all, I thought that maybe changing my “look” would suggest my openness to experiencing new things (since technically, I am no longer a freshie). And besides, I think it’s cute. Haha.

***

I want an accessory. Even just for this summer. :P

PS - Friends, be careful. Dont go on drinking kalawang-filled Pepsis or stepping on glass shards anymore. Ingat ingat O:

Out of Breath

2007-04-13T07:54:00.000+08:00

You run out of breath after having gone for so long without getting enough of what you need.

You run out of breath after having searched far and wide for that one thing youve been missing.

You run out breath after having been chased down to the high wall with nowhere left to go.

And yet, you still gasp for air to hold on for dear life.

Who was your last?

2007-04-12T23:59:00.000+08:00

*thank you PY!*

Rule #1:
If you open this you GOTTA take it.

Rule # 2:
You are NOT ALLOWED to explain
ANYTHING unless someone messages you
and asks

Rule #3:
Only answer True or False

Q: Kissed someone on your top friends?
A: False

Q: Been arrested?
A: False

Q: Kissed someone you didn't like?
A: False

Q: You like someone?
A: True? :)

Q: Held a snake?
A: False

Q: Been suspended from school?
A: False

Q: Been fired from a job?
A: False

Q: Sang karaoke?
A: True

Q: Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
A: True

Q: Laughed until you started crying?
A: True

Q: Caught a snowflake on your tongue?
A: False

Q: Kissed in the rain?
A: False

Q: Sang in the shower?
A: True

Q: Sat on a roof top?
A: True

Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
A: False

Q: Broken a bone?
A: False

Q: Shaved your head?
A: False

Q: Played a prank on someone?
A: True

Q: Had/have a gym membership?
A: False

Q: Made a girlfriend/boyfriend cry?
A: False

Q: Shot a gun?
A: True

Q: Donated Blood?
A: True

Q: Had your heart broken?
A: True?

Q: Broken someone's heart?
A: True

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Who was your last?"
just be 100% truthful

LAST PERSON.

1. You hung out with?
A: Alexis, Celine, and Ate from Uday's :P

3. You were in a car with?
A: my whole family

4. Went to the movies with?
A: Alexis

5. Went to the mall with?
A: Brothers

6. You talked on the phone?
A: Romina Bagsit of Anxa Digital Entertainment, Inc.

7. Made you laugh?
A: Alexis and Celine

8. You hugged?
A: Jolo, my cousin

10. You cried with?
A: My brothers, but they were asleep.

WOULD YOU RATHER...?

1. Pierce your nose or tongue?
A: Tongue

2. Be serious or be funny?
A: Funny

3. Drink whole or skim milk?
A: Whole

4. Die in a fire or get shot?
A: Get shot!

---------------------------------------
---------------------------------------

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY...

1. Sun or moon?
A: Moon

2. Winter or Fall?
A: Fall

3. Left or right?
A: Right

4. Sunny or rainy?
A: Rainy

6. Where do you live?
A: Santa Rosa, Laguna :P

8. Do you want to get married?
A: Yes :)

9. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
A: Cut and twirl

10. Wheres 11 and 12?
A: Missing together

13. Do You Cook?
A: Sometimes

IN THE LAST 48 HOURS HAVE YOU...

1. Kissed someone?
A: No

2. Sang?
A: Yes

3. Been hugged?
A: Yes

5. Danced Crazy?
A: Yes

6. Cried?
A: Yes

7. Liked someone you can't have?
A: No

Repost this as, "Who was your last?"

Bittersweet Happiness

2007-03-26T09:19:00.000+08:00

GoodbAIES: A Tribute to the Seniors
Gram's Diner, Mall of Asia

AIESEC - Its a single word which I couldnt even pronounce in the beginning, yet it's become a big part of my life for the past year. When I think of our cluttered tambayan, I think of my second home, and in many cases, a room filled with memories.

And now, after less than a year of having mingled with people who were once strangers to me, I cant imagine going up to the BA 3rd floor without seeing the same faces that used to welcome me with sunny smiles.

It was here that I found my niche, like many others, who gained a sense of belonging in the rowdy and crazy crowd. And although we have to say goodbye to a good few, we hope that the memories we've shared will draw you back to us.

Congratulations Iara, Emman, Jerome, Jolo, Ian, Beth, (JA, and Jay)!
Thank you for all the fun memories!
Your AIESEC family will miss you!
We wish you all the luck! May you find your place in the real world and hang on for the ride :P

***
My Pre-19th Birthday Surprise
Dencio's, The Bed Room at Eastwood

I think Ive found the bestest set of friends in college.

I walked into the restaurant without expecting anything but then you guys entered with a bunchload of love. I hope you all know how thankful I am for everything youve done! Words cant express how happy you made me! Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart! :D

Love you Breast-Friends! HAHA :)

The Kinky Nikki Boob Cake! Haha! :D

more pictures at my multiply! :)

Push Play

2007-03-24T02:01:00.000+08:00

I would be a hypocrite if I say that I have stopped with my annoying habit of expecting. To anticipate what’s going to happen next or just simply to want to know what’s going on is both a sin I am guilty of and a flaw that I am definitely not proud of. I find it ironic how I often form these crazy and hopeful ideas in my head, wishing for the clichéd movie-like scenes to play before me in reality, complete with a Pause button to prolong my fancied moment. But let’s face it, when Lady Luck refuses to show, you can only go as far as ending up with a big and lousy Stop, or even worse, an Eject.

I am afraid I cannot, for the life of me, stop demanding. It is from knowing what I deserve that this mere insistence thrives. I also know myself to be a person who hesitates. If ever I do dare to go beyond that hesitation, I’m still the kind who that takes a step one, without having a step two. Those rare moments come only at a time when I feel the need to spare myself from either further regret or futile heartbreak. But regardless of how I continually play it safe, it’s still because I know what I want and what I am worthy of.

After all is said and done, it all boils down to how and why they realize or fall short of my expectations. It may prove the lesser of the evils to not take it against the person at fault as it also bears out my own oversight of unfairly expecting more than I should have. But because I am the new me, I want to put action into these clairvoyant thoughts. My right to anticipate for more ends where someone else’s will and intent begins. Until I find that someone who will be brave and willing enough to break and even surpass my expectations, only then will I be able to push that green and shiny Play button and let the show, that is my life, go on.

***
TODAY:

- was officially my last day of school as a Freshman. Ever.
- was officially the last day of school for the graduating Seniors. EVER. :(
- I went to school to take 2 long exams and managed to come out alive.

Mara, Alexis, and I went to Bo's Coffee and spent hours talking just about everything we could think of. From tan lines, high school, dirty secrets, weight issues, getting wasted, getting stoned, getting married and of course, that certain boy (and all the other boys) - I loved every bit of it.

Ah, nothing beats the timeless happifying girl talk ;)

Weekly Horoscope

2007-03-21T07:06:00.000+08:00

Monday and Tuesday you're more enthusiastic -- not in a fake way, in a real way -- than you've been in weeks. That's about everything, including your love life. Although it's not romance that gives this week its charge. What propels you this week is the excitement of overcoming challenges, and there are all kinds of challenges in the mix. Energywise, Wednesday and Thursday are slightly lower wattage, but Friday and Saturday (which are the most romantic days of the week, or at least the most flirtatious), you're at top form. Sunday, on the other hand, is heavy. Lots of food may be involved.

I dont know about you, but my horoscopes recently have been freakishly true.
We'll see about Friday and Saturday >:)
HAHAHA!

Happy 18th Birthday Mia!

2007-03-18T13:31:00.000+08:00

Mia's Debut
March 17 2007
Blue Gardens, Commonwealth

Happy Birthday Mia!
We Love you! :)

Overload

2007-03-17T00:29:00.000+08:00

No matter how much giddiness you get from a picture with a remotely-feasible crush, how weird and awkward it may be to have your past hit it off with another’s present, how overwhelming and profound it may feel to have someone divulge his fondness, and how numbing and muffled it seems to have a talk with a recent would-be, in the end, it all boils down to who’s holding your hand in your dreams.

***

I watched The Pursuit of Happyness with Malco and Alexis today. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to feel inspired! I more or less cried after every scene. Haha :P

***

I'll be in UA&P the whole day today for the AIESEC ICX Meeting. Then in the evening, Chrissie, Alexis, and I are hitching a ride with AJ to Mia's Debut.
Tonight'll be the first time were going to see each other looking all prettified and debonair. Aylavit. :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 18th BIRTHDAY MIA! :)

oh happy day! <3

2007-03-15T17:27:00.000+08:00

If you want to have what youve never had, then you must do what youve never done before. Because if you only do what youve always been doing, you will only have what youve always been having.

Alexis' favorite pic
(and no, its not because of Sir, me, or Chrissie - but do check out Sir J's face haha!)

MY FAVORITEST PIC EVER! :D
(i just hope no one who knows him sees this o: haha!)

I know I look stupid in both pictures since I walked along AS before going through the bumpy TOKI ride to the gym, but what the heck, I still got these pictures to make my day, week, month! :D

I am so enrolling for those Streetdance summer classes. Hahaha!
WalaLangCrushes are way more fun :P

***
Im excited for Mia's debut! Woot woot!

Crime and Passion

2007-03-14T22:39:00.000+08:00

I woke up with the words "crime" and "prisons" smooching me on the face this morning. I had fallen asleep while drowning in Social Science concepts, and yet I dont feel the least bit near my Professor's crazed brilliance.

My supposed "cameo appearance" in my debut film (aka Monica's production for their Broad Comm class) was also postponed, so I would have to put off being the next Eva Longoria for now. Zany, I know.

I then had a sudden craving for happifiers, so I decided to walk under the scorching sun all the way to Cello's and indulge in delectable pieces of heaven. Overwhelmed by the saccharine overload, I walked back to Starbucks to make use of my 100-peso GC which I myself previously bought for academic reasons.

With jazz music playing in the background, I so leisurely sipped from my usual Choco Chip Frap and strategized my line of attack against the enemy, that is Calculus. Two men, one stout like Santa and the other feeble-looking like McDonald's, were on the table to my left, while a group of school girls were on the corner to my right. Some were talking about boys and the others were discussing a play, but I was too preoccupied with how I found natural logarithm so unnatural when I had previously felt it destined for me (as it spelled my initials backwards) to even rudely eavesdrop.

An hour passed with my nose still stuck to the yellow pad filled with what seemed to me like half of the letters of the alphabet jumbled to make my life more challenging. After exhausting my cool pen of its red, green, blue, and black inks, I finally decided to go back to my dorm and go on with my battle against boredom.

After a couple of hours more of critical brain-draining, the interruption of two gay guys talking about their youd-never-imagine-how-colorful love lives right in front of me signalled the end of my day as a nerd. Never mind the fact that these two true-blue members of the federasyon seemed to have outdone me in the field of making landi the cute chinito guys. I was content with the serenity I had been feeling the whole day as I went through it alone. It surprises me now how I was able to stick to the plans I had made and got them done - all by myself.

It wasnt just the lone walk along the Katipunan stretch or the isolated stay in the coffee shop that made me find this day worthy of being noted. More than that was the sense of complete independence and freedom that I enjoyed without having anything or anyone to be attached to. If the time had been a few years back, I would have remained in solitary confinement and daydreamed with my eyes wide open. But today, it was in being alone that I found unforeseen and genuine contentment.

Commitment was very tempting - once. I am, after all, the queen of urong-sulong, trial and error, laban or bawi. As much as I hate to admit it, I think I still am the epitome of kalabuan. Those who might have wanted to share my Choco Chip Frap with me in the past have their own ladies to escort now. But in spite of everything, Ive still got my eyes peeled. The rest of my noteworthy days are yet to be written, so while Im at it, I shall be on the lookout for potential replacements for the "crime" and "prisons" that had been kissing me throughout the night.

An Excerpt

2007-03-14T21:07:00.000+08:00

Copied from this multiply

"I've been in love before. It's like a narcotic. At first it brings the euphoria of complete surrender. The next day, you want more. You're not addicted yet, but you like the sensation, and you think you can still control things. You think about the person you love for two minutes, and forget them for three hours. But then you get used to that person, and you begin to be completely dependent on them. Now you think about him for three hours and forget him for two minutes. If he's not there, you feel like an addict who can't get a fix. And just as addicts steal and humiliate themselves to get what they need, you're willing to do anything for love."

-By The River Piedra I Sat Down And Wept

because i got bored at four in the morning

2007-03-13T22:07:00.000+08:00

Breaking Hearts

“It seems like you’re making a habit out of breaking hearts, “she said.

Little did she know that with every utterance of sorry, every squirming encounter, every awkward pause, every graceless effort to evade, every attempt to disappear, every shot at turning numb, every word choked on, every surge of tears, and every attempt to declare a passing goodbye…another heart is silently whimpering, trying to beat steadfastly, with little room for a lull.

***

Find, Replace, Select

Content is of great importance, but we must not underrate the value of continually wanting more. When you choose to keep on coming back to your preferred place of refuge, without hesitation or doubt that it is where you want to be, that’s being content. Perhaps the bravery you fall back on is a mere symptom of the very contentment you wish to make yourself think of and eventually believe. But not too far from this, is the itch that refuses to stand still. It is that foolishly existent itch that makes you crave for more, more, and even more.

However, one must know that the very things that can satisfy this craving cannot be made – you find them. It is not unusual for us to try to look for answers thinking that once they are found, we can finally have something to rest our heads on. Hoping against all hope, we sometimes search too hard for things that are already right in front of us. We knock the halos off our heads in the course of running after the carrot being lured to the hungry rabbits that we all become. Crying wolf to oneself by constantly conditioning the fumbling mind heightens the excitement that comes with finding the anticipated, and the unexpected, and the unknown.

But the truth remains that, more often than not, this search is done in vain. The ever-so-persistent failures and letdowns are not too hard to recognize once you find yourself back in your own solitary place of refuge. Nevertheless, the want for more and the desire for better things remain worthy of another attempt. You may have to work on it over and over again, but if you’re brave enough to satisfy that undying itch, you’re still going to damn well try.

***
Pardon the lack of coherence and/or sense. I woke up at an ungodly hour and just had to do something. Wehehe.

***
Have a safe trip and fun stay in Korea, Tanya!
We'll super duper miss you! :*

Advice From Oprah About Men

2007-03-10T20:43:00.000+08:00

I know this is anything but timely for me. I have no "man" in my life after all (as equivocal as it may sound - and please, dont ask. HAHA). I havent found the time to actually lie down on my bed, open a word document, and finally type down all the mental notes Ive taken and all the withheld ideas Ive been keeping. I also have pending replies to give, and imminent answers to reveal. But for now, for lack of a better entry (and because all three of my brothers are right behind me), Ill only be posting this list that I found in Eibee's LJ. Why am I reposting it? Well, its from Oprah, isnt it? :)

ADVICE FROM OPRAH ABOUT MEN

* If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
* If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
* Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
* Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
* Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
* Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

* Slower is better.
* Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
* If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".
* A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
* Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

* Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
* The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
* Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
* Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
* Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

* If something bothers you, speak up.
* Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
* You cannot change a man's behaviour. Change comes from within.
* Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job.
* Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

* Never let a man define who you are.
* Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
* A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
* You should not be the one doing all the bending... compromise is two way street.
* You need time to heal between relationships...

* There is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
* You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary... not supplementary.
* Dating is fun... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
* Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him – he takes it for granted.
* Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

Ive finally found SAM-one

2007-03-09T16:42:00.000+08:00

Oh saaaaaaaaaam! :x

This truly is the mother of all infatuations. HAHAHA. :)

***
Listen to my blog's background music. Its my current favoriteeeest song! :x

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

daniella in diliman

2007-03-06T19:51:00.000+08:00

Look at who Chrissie and I met with this afternoon :P

Danielleeeeeeeeee! :* Oh, and Mikey and her blockmates were there too. :P

***
Quotable Quotes from Maam Abola (our English prof):

While discussing this poem:

One Art
by Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isnt hard to master
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent
The art of losing isnt hard to master

Then practice losing farther, losing faster
places, and names and where it was meant for you
to travel. None of these will bring disaster

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went
The art of losing isnt hard to master

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent
I miss them, but it wasnt a disaster

- Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture I love)
I shant have lied. Its evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
thought it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

"What can you see? What is happening? That is the first question you ask. There are material conditions to hold on to."

"In the end, this person wasnt the same. Youre just trying to convince yourself that the loss doesnt hurt, but really, its all in the manner that we grieve for the loss. Its still there, echoing in your life. Youre left with no choice but to write about it, even though youll know it'll never go away."

Wala lang. I just felt like posting the nice poem. I miss writing poems. Bleh.

****
I know I have a ton of things to write about, but I really dont have enough time to stay here in the internet shop and type away about my not-so-boring life. My laptop's with my brother this week, but it's all good. At least my hell week's over, and it sure was a hell week made in heaven.

Okay, that was lame, I know (haha), but the whole of AIESEC Week was a fantabulously great.!Kudos to everyone in thebestoc and the Drill team! Fire Drill was an effing BIG SUCCESS! :)

Idadaan ko na lang sa napakadaming pitchoors! :)

AIESEC Week Grand Launch

AIESEC Week Amazing Race

AIESEC Week Culminating Night: FIRE DRILL
Absinth, Greenbelt 3

go to my multiply: http://supergurlnix.multiply.com for pictures :D

gotta go now! Im off to uh, Manila tomorrow to help our Polish trainee with his Visa. bwahaha!
byee! :)

***
Okay fine, di na ako magtataray. :))

hot and cold

2007-03-01T23:41:00.000+08:00

I am tired but fulfilled.
I am drained but excited.

You are draining but I am guilty.

***
Nangangayayat na ako from not eating properly. Boo.

FIRE DRILL in 2 days! :)

AIESEC Academy -@Week- Events (Feb 26-March3)

2007-02-24T10:34:00.000+08:00

Opening of the Academy (Feb 26 - Mon)

To start things off, AIESEC prepared a one-hour program that will give hindsight of what is in store for the week. The program will include presentations, talks and a special number coming from one of our alumni Sitti Navarro, a famous Bossa Nova singer.

The Art of Leadership: AIESEC Week Gallery (Week Long)

The AIESEC gallery will showcase photographs, quotations of all the prominent alumni including US President George W. Bush, Former UN Secretary General Kofi Annan, RP President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo as well as current members, organizing committees and the executive board. The weeklong event will be showcased in the third floor front lobby of the College of Business Administration.

Extremely Physical Education: Amazing Race (Feb 28 - Wed)

Patterned after the hit television show, this event will be exclusive to AIESEC UP-D members to be able to test their wits, smarts and physical fitness, as well as to discover and promote the concept of teamwork.

Lunch with Magnates: Grand Pakain (Mar 1 - Thurs)

A sponsored buffet lunch complete with entertainment, set for the whole College of Business Administration which is aptly themed as "Lunch With Magnates", giving the students a feel of what it is to have a power lunch with business executives.

Fire Drill: AIESEC Week Culminating Night (Mar 3 - Sat)

With the theme Fire Drill, the culminating night signifies the burning passion of every member of the organization. Located in one of the hottest nightspots in town, this event will be open to students of different universities aside from the University of the Philippines Diliman. This will celebrate and tell the Filipino youth that they can be leaders as well.

FIRE DRILL! hottest party at ABSINTH GB3!

2007-02-24T09:42:00.000+08:00

AIESEC UP DILIMAN
in Cooperation with:
HIT 99.5 fm and ABSINTH
presents..
AIESEC Week Culminating Night:
FIRE DRILL!!!
A house/hiphop/rnb Party
March 3, at Absinth, Greenbelt 3

Featuring:
BID FOR A HOTTIE, BUILD A COMMUNITY
An auction for the benefit of Gawad Kalinga

FIRE DANCERS!

DJ from BIG FISH.

FREE BACARDI COKES, JELLO SHOTS and JACK DANIELS

This event is also brought to you by..
Studio 23
Banco De Oro
Jack Daniels
and BIG FISH

Tickets are sold at Php 150 before March 3 and Php 200 on the event itself.
Text me at 09278275038 for ticket reservation.
Join us in celebrating our 39th year anniversary..
BRING YOUR FRIENDS!!! EVERYONE'S INVITED!!!

masakit na ang ulo ko

2007-02-21T20:27:00.000+08:00

I.M.Stressed.

Woke up at 7 am, met with Alexis in our dorm lobby and worked on stuff for the grand launch.
Went to BA for the gallery workshop.
Went to SC to email the details for the video.
Went to Katips to eat SISIG na BANGUS in JOLLIBEE! (yep, they have it alright)
Went back to UP.
Went to Ateneo for the UP vs FEU men's volleyball game (sayang :()
Went back to UP with Meg to meet with Crisette and Ian.
Went to Teacher's Village to go to Orange Segment.
Went to Katips after with Crisette.
I FELL ASLEEP so I wasnt able to attend Mass today (SORRY for making you wait! wuaah)
My head's still throbbing, and as soon as this is over, I swear Im getting a body massage and eating blueberry cheesecake.

Hahaha.

in my unwritten anthology

2007-02-20T07:09:00.000+08:00

Chancing On a Stranger
02.19.07

Through the golden gates adorned
Strode the man wrapped in a coat of doubt
With a face so tame and forlorn
He gripped me in perpetual bout

Clandestine visions seen in reverse
Gave unsettling questions amassed
Hesitating to run or coerce
He stumbled through the floor of glass

Slowly he made his way through
Reaching the cavern that is solely mine
Taking a chance like the earlier few
Only he proved to be sublime

No longer unfamiliar and unwary
Is the stranger who valiantly stayed
With his tiring quest for bravery
Revere this stranger for he is made

***
Im a blood donor and I save lives.
Yes, I so willingly (okay, maybe not at first) gave a bag of blood to the National Kidney and Transplant Institute. So did Alexis (yay, she conquered her fear!), Ricoy, and Eva. It was both a scary and fulfilling experience. It wasnt really painful or anything, but the thought of having to insert a big needle into your vein is wiped away by the comforting feeling of knowing that your 500cc of blood can help save 3 to 5 lives.
It was just stupid of me to have had PE an hour after without even finishing my small bottle of water. I was on the verge of fainting while copying the steps of our semi-cute Streetdance teaching assistant. Right, Chrissie? Haha.
But despite all the panting and dizziness, that was one of my first big good deeds in a while, and it truly was bloody satisfying. :)

And it all goes spiralling down

2007-02-18T20:15:00.000+08:00

I know its passe to post song lyrics, but I just had to post this one. I like the band too. So, enjoy.

Clouds
by Marty Casey and Lovehammers

I am just like you
I wish for more in this life
I need so much more

Lost all hideaway
You were there
To save me from everything
Everyone I could not see

So sorry, she said
You'll never find out anyhow
So sorry, it's over now
Go on back home

Falling through your clouds I
Hope you catch me
Never leave you alone

Turn my blind eyes blue
One kiss from you
Like white light
Feel you shining through

So much more to see
But you're too scared
Trust me with everything
'Cause I'm the one
I give you strength when you're weak

So sorry, she said
You'll never find out anyhow
So sorry it's over now
Go on back home

Falling through your clouds I
Hope you catch me
Never leave you alone
Falling through you now I
Hope you catch me

Maybe we can change
You look so scared now, don't pull the trigger
I'll never be back here
Shoot, shoot away, yeah,
Shoot, shoot away, yeah
Shoot, shoot, blow me away

***

Yuck. I sound emo, when Im actually not. Im just TIRED. Sorry for the lame entries. O:

Reading you is like reading a magic eightball.

Hearts Week

2007-02-17T13:22:00.000+08:00

Monday - AIESEC Week OC Photoshoot!

Tuesday: Loverage @ UP Fair!

Wednesday - Valentines Day!

More pictures at MY MULTIPLY (CLICK HERE!)

Hypocritical

2007-02-17T12:33:00.000+08:00

Im an analyzer and Ive always been one.

I tend to break things down into little parts and scrutinize them one by one. From the tiniest dents to the most obvious flaws, I examine them critically to get the essence of the whole. But psychoanalyzing could also make you see things you dont want to see, and feel things you dont want to feel. To treat people as cases, and not as individuals, makes one draw conclusions far from the obvious.

But this time, I just want to be drawn to what's there, and not by the things that are not.
I wont be a hypocrite no more.

***
Love me if you dare.

drained

2007-02-12T23:01:00.000+08:00

Bleh, Im so tired. I dont think Ive felt this drained since my Math exam - which was just last week, weh.

I stayed in Starbucks and in the internet shop till 10 with Alexis.
My brain's all packed with senseful nonsense - if you see my SocSci handouts, then youll know what I mean.

I know I shouldn't feel this negative, but I cant help but be stressed out.
Guess Im gonna be spending my pre-valentines with SocSci, Kas, and Eng. Yay. Haha.

***
I think I can become a millionaire 5 years from now. I seriously think I can. >:)

***
That was really nice of you. Thank you. :)

I just have to rant

2007-02-11T15:29:00.000+08:00

It feels as if my head's being hammered with every blink.
Ive been reading and studying since 7am, and I only stopped to watch an episode of Grey's Anatomy, which in turn made me cry hard and consequently worsened this headache.

I have no PE tomorrow - I think that's the only good news I have for now.

I have three exams on Tuesday. 3 consecutive exams from 11:30-4pm.
The last one's just a quiz, but what the heck, it's English11. I never get the profundity of the underlying meanings in the stories (mostly about sex, and death, and sex, and social classes, and sex...) anyway.

I'm leaving for Katipunan in an hour to, what else, study 100 pages more for SocSci1 which I so brilliantly left in my dorm.
I have to effing memorize the evolutionary stages of man (homo homo homo...) too.

Accck...I need a break. And some chocnut.
Somebody save me. :))

on V-Day/funny pick-up lines

2007-02-11T07:36:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning only to set my eyes on the depressing and downright fugly-fying manifestation of several nights of burning the midnight oil (wow, I finally got to use that phrase).

GREAT. Just in time for the season of candy hearts, flowers and bears. :|

Isn't it just annoying how every TV or radio commercial reminds you of your (like what my English 11 prof would call it) "hellish singleness?" So maybe we choose to coin it "Single Awareness Day" just so we have an excuse to actually appreciate our freedom from commitment. It's not all that bad. In fact, it's not bad at all. Singles of the world shouldn't feel like aliens on the day when couples suddenly take over. The 14th need not be about candlelight dinners, helicopter rides, or long walks along the shore. Although I must admit that these would be spine-tingling for most bachelors and bachelorettes, sometimes, it isn't the material things or overwhelming extravagance that gets you - it's the memory of having someone to care for and someone care for you. It is, after all, about the one thing I am 1000% sure we all have: LOVE. *mushy song plays*

Feed your heart and find your own happyfiers this Valentines Day (like ice cream or your favorite song) just because you know you deserve to be happy - even if you're going solo. If you want something more fulfilling then make someone else happy, like your best friend or better yet, that cute crush of yours that you've long been dreaming of (aka stalking). From what Ive learned, receiving isn't half as good as giving. Anything coming from the heart of the special someones in your life is all it takes for you to put on a big bright smile on your face amidst cupid's flying arrows. Who knows, maybe that smile of yours will catch someone's eye, and you wont have to spend the next Valentines Day alone anymore? :)

And oh, for those who have happy bouncing hearts, the time has come for you to unleash that long withheld mushiness and celebrate romance as your love smiles on the inside and out. :)

(Because I have an excuse to be post these favorite cheezy lines...:P)

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

- The Bible : 1 Corinthians 13:4 -
(Ah, I want this to be recited in my wedding - thats if Im ever going to have one- ala-A Walk to Remember. Haha!)

We all want to fall in love. Why?

Because that experience makes us feel completely alive,
where every sense is heightened,
and every emotion is magnified.
Our everyday reality is shattered
and we are flung into the heavens.
It may only last a moment, an hour, or an afternoon,
but that doesn't diminish its value,
because we are left with memories
that we treasure for the rest of our lives.

- From the movie "The Mirror Has Two Faces"

Oh, and here are some funny pick-up lines:

Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.
Is your dad a terrorist? Coz youre da bomb!

Excuse me, dandruff ka ba? Coz i cant get you out of my head.
Im your derivative. im tangent to your curves! (HAHA)
Are you tired? 'Cause you've been running through my mind all day!

Did you fart, cause you blew me away. (LOL)
My Love for you is like diarrhea ... I can't hold it in!
Check the girls clothing tag then say --> "Thats what I thought...made in heaven"

Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her when I fell in love.
Hey, baby. I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by you again?(sound familiar, haha)

Are you a parking ticket, because you have FINE written all over you!
If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous!(isa pa! haha)
(Hand a girl a rose.) I just wanted to show my rose how beautiful you are.

Apart from being sexy, what else do you do?
Are you Moroccan? 'Cause you're ma-rockin' my world!
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

Hi, my name is Justin. Justin Credible.
I tattooed this bar code on my arm so you could check me out.
So sorry to bother you -- someone at this address called for the man of her dreams, but you look way hotter than the girl I was supposed to be delivered to.

God was showing off when he made you.
You Dropped something , "My jaw"
You must come with a fire extinguisher, right? (for Fire Drill! haha)

If I were Peter Pan, you'd be my happy thought. (awww..)
When were you born? I just want to know what day God worked the hardest.

My Bayani

2007-02-09T00:11:00.000+08:00

It feels good to have a hero :)

***
Chrissie and I have found our new happiness: Caramel Crunch doughnuts from Krispy Kreme! :X
Oh, and my hotness-streetdancer-crush was in our PE class today! Haay.. Whenever I see him dance, sabi nga nila, "nakakalaglag-panty" Hahahaha! :X

***
Got tired and bored from SocSci1, so I went quote-and-icon-hunting. Enjoy! :)
(...just because its February :P)

he looked at me & said,
"do you ever feel like you're working
for something you're never going to get?

you shoot-&-miss kind of deal.

like, no matter what, you can't have it,
but that makes you fight for it just a little bit more?"
i looked at him, stared at him for a second,
& replied, "everyday"

the truth is-
we hide so we can be found;
we walk away to see who will follow;
we cry to see who will wipe away our tears
&& we let our hearts get broken to see
who will come and fix them

sometimes you wait your
whole life for some thing,
&& before you know it,
he's standing right in front of you

sometimes the two people that
are meant to be, are the last to realize it.

heres 3 things in life every grl needs
_ Love to make her weak.
_ Alcohol to make her strong
_ & best friends when both things
make her hit the floor.

if he's dumb enough to walk away
be smart enough to let him go

he's just a boy who doesn't know
what's in front of him & she's just a
girl who doesn't know how to let go.

its not like i want to be the only girl in your life
i just want to be the only one that actually matters

i wanna be the reason for the smile on your
face and the one girl in your life that can never
be replaced.

*Ill add more tomorrow. Its already 2am and Im still awake, oh no. Nyaha.*

Because this day deserves a blog entry

2007-02-08T00:11:00.000+08:00

"I refust to adhere to society's perception of academic aptitude and mental ability.
Translation: Ayoko nang mag-aral!" Hahaha.

The Math100 exam drained half the life out of me and the more I look back the more bittersweet I feel. Bitter because it was effing hard (were they kidding when they said that its easier than Math17?) and my dreams of getting an uno in Calculus are long gone, but sweet because its finally over and done with - and oh, I realized that I wasnt as Math-stupefied as I thought I was because I wasn't the only one who found the 2nd Long Exam hard. Haha!

After ranting and raving about the velocity of a bird that crossed the path of a flying engagement ring and the maximum tour group revenue for hours and hours more, we resorted to the comforting indulgence that TOSH brings us every time. We again enjoyed our pastas over priceless conversations and tummy-aching laughs. If Im going to be friends with the same set of people until I graduate (that is 3 to 4 years from now) then Im guranteed a lifetime of memories. So maybe Ill be a few thousand pesos poorer because of our frequent and unplanned days and nights out, but hey, the UBEs will remain priceless. (Nakanaman! :)

After that, Ricoy and Alexis went with me to the Ateneo Press to buy another copy of the stupid Kasaysayan book Im supposed to read (after losing it in the Math building) and finish by the end of the month. Talkaboutawasteofmoney. Oh well, at least by the time Im done with it, Ill be richer in knowledge of the revolution and the popular movements in the Philippines (aka rallies) *sarcastic face*

We then ended up watching UAAP volleyball games with Chrissie and Mike at the Blue Eagle Gym, and boy did my jaw drop. The first game was that of the women's with macho ladies from UST and FEU battling it out in all their athletic-holiness. It's amazing how some girls dont even look or act like they have estrogen in them because of how strong and brawny they appear to be. That's one of my biggest frustrations in life. Not just the macho-ness or the long legs, but how I wasnt exactly blessed with athletic skills. And no, those few meetings in Track & Field back in High School dont count. Maybe dancing can be taken into consideration, but hardcore sports still call for way more than just waving, popping, footwork, and pa-cute skills. (Dont get me wrong though, because dancing can be hardcore too as it entails hard work, people. Believe it! Haha) So anyway, we also watched the match of the men (and not-so-men) from UP (WOOT) and FEU who were tied for first in the standings. The game lasted till the 5th set, and oh meh ged, that must have been one of the most exciting volleyball games Ive watched in my entire 18-year-and-11-month-old life! ANG GAGALING NILA, amp. Haha! Both teams displayed electrifying, eye-popping, hair-raising, mind-blowing, and all those other amazing -INGs performances as they drilled holes on the court with their spikes. Sorry if I sound like it was the first time Ive seen an actual volleyball game up close, but it just amazes me how some people could be soooo damn good at the things that they love and enjoy doing. If only more people could find their niche like those excellent college athletes have, then we'd all stop settling for mediocrity and actually attain arete. Plansofdomination, baby.

Oh, and here's a shout out to all the fun-loving and funny gay guys out there: I want you as my friend! I seriously want a gay best friend. Someone who wont care about what other people may think, someone who'll be game for anything, someone I can share fashion and boy tips with *gags*...and all those nitty-gritty things. This want for gay companionship has always existed, but it was again fuelled by this funny Atenean guy-slash-girl who kept on making hilarious hirits in the game today. I couldnt tell if he, together with all the rest of the Ateneans near us, were really cheering FEU on or if they were dissing them, but his /her(whatever) whole mockery of the Tamaraw cheers (which Im sure was done just for fun and not meant to offend anyone) during the entire game kept us laughing our heads off.

"U-ni-ber-si-dad ng MalayongSilangan!" = Far Eastern University daw. Hahaha!

Bottom line is, I want a GAY FRIEND. Anyone intrested? *wink wink* LOL.

Anyway, so that was how my fun day went. Now I only have a report to work on and hundreds of pages to read. More fun. Hurrah! Haha.

G'morning! :)

PS - I want a MotoRazr for my birthday!
PS2 - Cant wait for Fire Drill and the whole of AIESEC Week!
PS3- I know about the timer and the timba now, okay? Sports commentator, tss. Haha :P

Give me a chance to hold on
Just give me something to hold onto
It's so clear now that you are all that I have
I have no fear now you are all that I have
-Snow Patrol

I did that?

2007-02-05T07:41:00.000+08:00

You know how sometimes we re-read the past entries on our blogs and diaries and feel like were reading about another person's life? Thats exactly how I felt a while ago, and I just realized how mushy and emo I tend to be when Im wallowing in my emotions at the time I was writing them.

Eew.

Im surprised some people still even bother to read my blogs. Haha.

***
I DROVE FROM QUEZON CITY TO MUNTINLUPA LAST SATURDAY!
From Agham Road (Pisay) all the way to our house! We even passed by Festi and Town!
Achievement! Booyeah! :D

***

I had trouble sleeping last night because I kept worrying about my upcoming Math100 exam. I got -5 in my last exam because of stupid stupid stupid mistakes. I feel all shaky now just thinking about it (Marian and Alexis both know how much I ranted on that fateful day). Whenever Im rattled or lacking in confidence, my judgment and the rest of my brain cells desert me. So not good :|

***
Went to Absinth last Friday and had loads of fun! Cant wait for the REAL PARTY at the end of Feb! GO AIESEC WEEK! :D

***

"Its tough to stay single in this world where everybody expects you to be with somebody. But staying single is not about having no choice; rather, its a result of making intelligent choices."

And that is the story of my single life.
Thank you Jana love for that quote. :P

i miss writing

2007-02-01T23:24:00.000+08:00

I need inspiration to write again.
Muse, I need you back.

Unexpected

2007-01-31T23:01:00.000+08:00

It was both pathetic and weird, but more than that, it was a scare worth learning from. I dont know why, but those few minutes of worrying drowned me with thoughts of losing again...to the point that I actually cried. WTF.

Nothing really happened, but what's weird was how I unexpectedly reacted to the dreary lag. It was like a flashback of the regrets Ive had in the past, and from that miniscule moment, I knew that I didnt want to lose again.

Its actually funny now that I think about it. And by funny, I mean embarrassingly pitiful.
But I think I'll leave it to one my greatest inspirations to do the justification...

An excerpt from an Linda Wolf's interview of Maya Angelou :)

Linda Wolf: Dr. Angelou, what advice do you have for young people growing up today?

Maya Angelou: To laugh as much as possible. Always laugh; it is the sweetest thing one can do for oneself and one's fellow human being. When people see the laughing face, even if they're jealous of it, their burden is lightened. But do it first for yourself.

Laugh and dare to try to love somebody, starting with yourself. You must love yourself first, of course, and you must protect yourself when you can. You say, "Just a minute! I'm worth everything, dear."

If you really realize that, you realize everybody else is worth everything. Everybody, fat and thin and plain and pretty, white and black, rich and poor, thick and slow and brilliant, everybody is worth everything. Start with yourself though.

One kiss is a dangerous drug
Ill get what I deserve
If I dare to fall in love
One look she shot me in cold blood
Ill get what I deserve
If I dare to fall in love
-Brent Bourgeois

lets get physical and nerdy

2007-01-30T07:52:00.000+08:00

It's been days since I last posted anything close to profundity in this blog. I've been too tired and busy to even blab about my rather bland life, but at least that still keeps me on my toes.

Chrissie and I jogged (sort of) around the oval yesterday. With the intent of burning calories in our head, we shamelessly slow-jogged (okay, so maybe I walked a third of the time) by the sidewalk, and at times, on the road and dared Ikots to hit us straight on. That was how determined we were to get back into shape (as if Chrissie isn't in shape already). We went back to the Tambayan and suddenly had a craving for Cello's doughnuts and dips. The magical feeling still lingers in me until now, but we both decided to refuse to our heart and sweet tooth's desires and went with what our brain was dictating us - eat healthy! Ergo, we hitched a ride with Iara and Crisette and ate Asian Salads at KFC. Who knew we could resist magical doughnuts and eat leaves with croutons instead? Hah! That's one small step for us, and one giant leap for our calorie count. :D

***

Having had to do my work in the Exchange Department of AIESEC has been both tedious and fulfilling. Trying to get a job for talented young people from all over the world to a company here in the Philippines gave me a feel of what it would really be like a few years from now. Seeing their resumes boasting loads of credentials, achievements, and experience made me want to actually aspire bigger in terms of my academics. Though Ive been learning a lot this semester, I haven't really been doing much for my GE subjects now since I deem most of them irrelevant to my course (except for Math 100). But come this summer and 2nd year, I would give anything to ace my BA and Econ subjects. *end of dream sequence ends here*

***
I have had a lot of things in my head that Ive been meaning to write about, but laziness and DSL-deprivity at home proved to be annoying hindrances. But aside from those minute things, Ive been free from worry and problems for a while now - its both great and scary, really. Great, because who doesnt want to be happy, right? Scary, because Im just watching out for that maximum extrema that would push me back down to a negative slope.

Okay fine, that was effing nerdy, but what the hell. :)

Gotta go and walk to the Math building now. Swoosh! Off I go! Haha :D

Extending the Boundaries

2007-01-24T13:27:00.000+08:00

An excerpt from Wouldnt Take Nothing For My Journey Now
by Maya Angelou :)

He continued… “You draw people to you; then you push them away.”

“You give that big smile and act like you’re just waiting for a man to take you in his arms, but then you freeze up like an iceberg…People don’t know how to take you.” Well, they must not. I hadn’t been taken.

We arrived at my apartment, and I gave my attendant the sweetest, briefest smile I had in me and stepped inside and closed the door.

I entered into a long concentration which lasted until and even after I sobered myself.

At the end of my meditation I came to understand that I had been looking for love, but only under specific conditions. I was looking for a mate, but he had to be a certain color, he had to have a certain intellect. I had standards. It was just likely that my standards eliminated a number of possibilities.

However, during that afternoon and evening I arrived at the conclusion that if a man came along who seemed to me to be honest and sincere, who wanted to make me laugh and succeeded in doing so, a man who had a lilting spirit - if such a man came along who had a respect for other human beings, then if he was Swedish, African, or a Japanese sumo wrestler, I would certainly give him my attention and I would not struggle too hard if he caught me in a web of charm.

feeling well and unwell

2007-01-23T23:34:00.000+08:00

I had slight fever last night according to my roommates. My nose is clogged and my cough is bad. My leg, thigh, back, and even my ass hurts like hell (damn streetdance, bakit kasi di tayo nagstretch chrissie? haha).

Oh well, these bodily pains can be ignored. For now.
MUST GET THAT BODY MASSAGE SOON. :)

Potential :)

2007-01-22T23:58:00.000+08:00

I posted this on my blog's template months ago thinking that Ive got it all figured out already. But after our UBE at the Sunken Garden for the nth time tonight, I think Ive come to know it by heart. :P

You are not going to be his first, his last, nor his only.

He loved before, he will love again.

But if he loves you now, what else matters?

He's not perfect; youre not either.

If he can make you laugh, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to him.

He's not going to be thinking of you every moment of the day,

but he will give you a part of himself he knows you can break - his heart.

So dont hurt him. Dont change him.

Dont analyze and dont expect more than he can give.

Smile when he makes you happy, because perfect guys dont exist.

Good Times

2007-01-18T20:27:00.000+08:00

AIESEC Picnic at the Sunken Garden
Thanks to Emman! :)
Food + Fun + Friends. What more could you ask for?

AIESEC Convocs and Elections
Congrats to our new set of EBS! Go Ayen, Dale, Jerrick, Eva!

Prosti Dialogue: The Economics of Prostitution
Watched the talk with Chrissie, Alexis, Basti, and Ricoy for ACLE
Ms. Che Che Lazaro was one of the speakers, and she was reeeeaaally good.

TOSH Katips Bonding
At The Old Spaghetti House with Alexis, Basti, Ricoy, Kat, and Kay
We talked about everything from jokes to prom dates to lovelives. :P

More pictures at my multiply. CLICK HERE!

Happy Birthday Justin, Cam, and Boggs! (January 18)

How am I?

2007-01-17T01:25:00.000+08:00

I am great :)

narcissus reborn

2007-01-15T21:25:00.000+08:00

I had a haircut and a camera. What do you get? Vanity pictures, duh. :P
(By the way, those are accidental bangs. Oh well.)

***
UBE @ Sunken Garden part 2

Chrissie, Alexis, and I had another UBE at the Sunken Garden. But this time Ricoy was with us. :) Emman, JA, and Jay passed by too. :)

Its one of those nights filled with kwentos, stargazing, and bonding that you wish would never have to end. Nothing beats lying on the grass, with the cool breeze running through your hair, the serene sky looming above your heads, and a couple of your favoritest people in the whole world beside you. Nothing. :)

Cant wait for the picnic tomorrow!

of lights in the sky

2007-01-14T13:15:00.000+08:00

Brandology 101 - AdCore
So maybe Sari Sari isnt Mango, and someone else loves Chocnut as much as I do... Haha.

I have always been interested in Advertising and Marketing (ergo my application to Adcore and JMA) so the seminar yesterday had my eyes and ears glued to the speaker. The professor who did the talk was really good, and hearing him lecture about Brandology without boring me for one bit made me want to be a BA major and ditch Accountancy...but then my Mother dear wont like that. Nyaha. It was really fun though - it made me feel all college-y. HAHA. :P

MOA/World Pyro Olympics

Ive always been fascinated by fireworks. Even though we spent more time getting stuck in traffic than looking up at the sky, it was still worth it. The lights in the sky were breathtaking. :)

If ever a miracle happens and I get married someday, Id want fireworks at the end. Whee! Haha! :P

While waiting for our pizza and the putukan...

I rubbed off some camwhoring kalandian to my twin sister, Alexis who came with whom I pigged out with in the car with the rest of my family :)

Earlier that day (at Alexis' dorm)...

Guard: Alexis, magkapatid ba kayo?
*Me & Alexis look at each other*
Guard: Magkamukha kasi kayo eh!
Me: Oo naman po, hindi ba halata? :P

Later that night, Alexis fell in love...

with my brother. :P

And we were all camera-happy. Haha!

More pictures at my multiply. CLICK HERE!

Girl Talk
While watching Lifestyle network...

Me: Kasi Mommy mas may freedom yung BA majors eh. Pwede sila magspecialize in Advertising or Marketing...

Mom: Pero may edge ka pa rin pag maging CPA ka. Once youre a professional, you can still focus on your other interests and expertise.

Me: Sa bagay...blah blah.

Mom: Siguro pwede na ako magretire after you graduate. Pag may trabaho ka na, aasikasuhin ko na lang yung mga bahay natin. Gagawin nating...blah blah.

Me: Of course, wait till Im a millionaire! *big smile*

Mom: Pero...wag mo pabayaan sarili mo.

*Me thinking Bakit ko naman mapapabayaan sarili ko?*

Mom: You should get a boyfriend.

*Me chokes on peanuts and bursts out laughing*

Mom: Yung hindi makaka-distract sayo. Someone who'll inspire you to work even harder.

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Mom: Oh bakit ka na naman tumatawa? Im serious.

Me: :|

Oh Mother. LOL.

he'll come :)

2007-01-12T20:50:00.000+08:00

"i want a boy who would hold my hand in line at the mall & make all the girls jealous. i want someone who would sing to me at random moments. someone who is more goofy than romantic. a boy who would throw stuffed animals at me when i'm acting dumb. someone who would bet me kisses that he could beat me at all the old playstaion games & then let me win. a guy who would make fun of me just to hear my laugh. he'd play with my hair all the time & surprise me with flowers just because. someone who i could share chocnut with & lay on a blanket with to count the stars. we'd take the silliest pictures of each other & squirt waterguns at each other in the house. but mostly someone who would be my best friend & would never break my heart." :)

and this one's for you hunny...

The Right Apple

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they're afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground, that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think that there is something wrong with them, when in reality, they are amazing. That is why we just have to be a little patient and the right boy, the one who takes a chance to find the good, right apple, will come someday.

***
Haay, ang epekto nga naman ng nalalapit na Valentines Day (dreaded by me).
Err, I feel a mushy entry coming up. Haha :O

Shariff Aguak at Panglima Sugala

2007-01-12T06:43:00.000+08:00

Holy Crap.
I think I've finally memorized the whole map of the Philippines (location, provinces, AND capitals)!
That is seriously already an achievement for me since I suck at geography AND because nothing can be suckier than my memory.
I know my friends found my mnemonic devices weird, since they included illustrations of bras, bears, pipes, Richard Gomez and Lucy Torres, etc. But believe me, that's how I try to aid my sucky memory. :P

Alam nyo bang may Zamboanga Sibugay?
At region na ang Calabarzon, Mimaropa, at SOCCSKSARGEN?
Oh yeah! Hahahaha. :)

***
I had a hard time sleeping last night (more like this morning).
Aside from the usual insomnia attacks and 3AM Club Chichi sessions, that only happens to me when really bad or really good things happen to me.
This time, it's the latter. :)

Fairy Tale Dreaming

2007-01-09T08:15:00.000+08:00

Call me jologs, call me pathetic, call me whatever you want. But at least Im not alone.

Nights of anticipation has gotten me hooked. It may not have Mischa Barton or Jesse Metcalfe in it, but for some reason, my curiosity was piqued by the whole craze that people around me were in. Being the frustrated non-conformist that I am, I was easily swayed and went to follow and satisfy my curiosity by watching an episode, just to see what everyone was so crazy about.

....after the credits rolled, I found love. :X

Now Danielle my love, I understand why you were so eager to watch tv during Marge's debut.

Now I get why guys like Ricoy and Henri mustered enough masculinity to watch a Koreanovela.
Now I know why Eva, Ayen, and all the other girls who watch it feel kilig while watching Troy, Monique, Janelle, and Prince Gian.
Hahahaha!

Everyone else who watches Princess Hours, lumantad na kayo! Lol :P
***
Good morning! :)

Hmm..

2007-01-08T21:00:00.000+08:00

Ah ewan :)

*Hah! It cant get any more vague than that, can it? Haha! :P

***
Looks like DSL's back to normal again. Dial-up's surprisingly faster too!
Oh, and I'm gonna have access to my dorm's WiFi soon. No more busy phone lines. Yay! :)

***
"and in this moment I am happy..." :)

Curing my Monday-itis

2007-01-07T20:25:00.000+08:00

Maybe its the setting, the time, or the "newness" of everything. Whatever it is, it sure has gotten rid of my once-annoying condition, Monday-itis.

I used to always hate Mondays. The idea of going back to school the next morning when I still had tons of things to do just irked me. I just pleaded God for more sleep time (aka time to watch that movie on HBO) and less sermon from my parents (whenever they hollered "tulog na nikki" from the other room) on Sunday nights. I wanted to see my classmates and friends in school again, of course, but I didn't exactly look forward to the lazy hours of lessons and lectures that I've heard for the nth time already. But now that I've entered college, I guess my annoyance for Mondays has worn off. Never mind that I've got to face Math first thing in the morning or that I still have the rest of the week to wait for until the next weekend. I guess living the life I chose to live when I opted to study in UP gave me the leeway to look forward to every day I wake up to. As far as I can recall, no two days of my freshman year has been the same so far, and that was exactly what I looked for after I graduated from high school - a break from the monotony and constraints that I once had.

Guess I finally found a cure. :)

***
People do come and leave.
Some come at a time when you least expect them and others leave without warning.
Some come into your life so casually and others leave impulsively without regard.
Some come like youve been secretly wanting them to and others leave without you even wanting it.

No matter how hard you wish for them to be where theyre supposed to be, you have no total control over who gets close or who goes away.
But either way, all that youre left with in the end is gratitude that once upon a time, these people were in your lives.

wish granted

2007-01-06T23:06:00.000+08:00

Thanks to my UP twin, Alexis, I now have a new necklace!
Tenchu for granting number one on my wishlist! :)

(And yes Zobel friends, now I am not only mistaken for being either Jana or Danielle. Haha! :)
***
Sorry walang kwenta lagi posts ko. Boo DSL for ruining our lives! O: I'll try to post real entries next time.

And btw, tama na intriga pls. o: haha!
Byee! :)

"Would it be my fault if I could turn you on?"

2007-01-04T00:03:00.000+08:00

"no it wont :P"

*SCREAMS* :D

***
Could this be Deja Vu? Why do things seem to be repeating themselves?
No one here's complaining though. Nope. Not me. Nah uh. Haha. :)

of egg seats, magical doughnuts, ang granted wishes

2007-01-03T14:27:00.000+08:00

Finished 1/3 of my Eng11 paper (my pace was equivalent to one sentence per um, half an hour..haha!), went to the ADMU press to waste 360 bucks on a history textbook with Dale, walked back to Katipunan to eat at World Chicken (for the first time), went back to my dorm but then we realized that we still had some time to spare so we walked back to National, then headed straight to Cello's and had a box of what Dale would like to call "magic" (aahh, truly those doughnuts were magical), then finally went back to my dorm.

Despite having my calorie count at an all time high and getting wet by the rain, twas all worth it.
Oh, and no. 2 on my wishlist has been granted! Thank you! :)

***
My classes start tomorrow.
NERD MODE: ON :D

back to reality

2007-01-02T22:28:00.000+08:00

I'm already back in my dorm here in Katipunan, but aside from the heaps of readings I have to finish and the many papers I have to get done, I think getting back to reality's the way to go. And more than that, it seems to me like a lot of other things are back to normal. And Im glad. :)

***
On our way to Manila earlier today, I grew tired from observing my Dad change the gears of the van (being the eager and novice female driver that I am), and so I just took pictures of my little bwoder. Haha! I'm gonna miss him again. :(

And dont ask me why he has those shades on. :P

***
I ordered a Tablemate (a foldable table for my dorm) through Home TV Shopping. Lookie at how they made me another (yet unique) way of spelling my nickname:

I know I'm already a day late, but...

2007-01-01T23:09:00.000+08:00

A great superrific fantabulous 2007 to everyone! :)

***

Our LAN is busted, and DSL's still reeeeeeaallly slow (thats why I havent flooded my blog yet with useless NewYear-related blabbing), so I guess Im gonna have to be internet-less in my room for a day. I'm going back to Katipunan tomorrow (awww), so that means I have to get back into full nerd mode again. Dare I say that Academics will be topping my list this year? I haven't exactly taken my studies seriously as I should have so that's enough reason for me to turn my attention to other more important stuff (aside from watching movies, eating out, YM EBS, UBEs, orgs, etc.). Haha! :)

And get this, my left eye is sort of swollen. Yes, as in you-look-like-youve-been-punched-by-a-little-girl swollen, only milder. WTF, right? Haha. It already started hurting on New Year's Eve, and when I got up this morning, my left eye was "chinkier" (is that even a word?) than usual. So is this how my whole 2007 is gonna be? Visually-impaired? Chinita, but only on the left? Unequal? My Dad's probably right. Maybe God is trying to teach me a lesson for staying up till 4 am and waking up at 12noon the whole break. If that's the case, then I've already learned my lesson, Lord. I promise I will sleep more and on time once school starts again. So please spare me from this Erik Morales(afterbeingbeatenup) look. O:

Anyhoo, gotta go. I'm hogging my brother's PC again.
He's been playing "Chasing Cars" and "With A Smile" on the guitar the whole day, by the way.
Wala lang. Haha.
And I drove again, but from Muntinlupa to Santa Rosa this time.
Wala lang ulit. Lol.

Someone please save me from Katipunan boredom tomorrow. o:

Again, Happy New Year everyone! :)

The last day of oh-six

2006-12-31T15:38:00.000+08:00

I cried, I cut myself, and I got burned...

while cooking, that is.

My Dad's an excellent cook, and my Mom even admits it herself. For as long as I can remember, he's dragged me to the kitchen every New Year to help him cut, slice, dice, peel, fry, stir, boil, and grill even. I know I have to seriously learn how to cook on my own (for the sake of my
survival once I start living on my own or uh, get married) but for the meantime, I think Im going to indulge in being the glutton that I am now. *big grin on face*

***

We got home at around 4am this morning after visiting a distant relative's wake. The normal "oh, ang laki laki mo na! Dati ganito ka pa lang kaliit oh!" comments were given of course. It's a good thing they dont know that I had stopped growing since I was sixteen. No matter how hard I try to jump up and down, wishing Id finally hit the door frame, with all the fireworks and noise in the background every New Year, my bones still refuse to spare me even just an inch. But despite that deprivation, (and having brothers who are WAY taller than me already) being vertically-challenged isnt that bad. :P

***
Speaking of brothers, I just found out yesterday that my brothers are HEARTTHROBS!

Nino told me about the time three grade seven girls approached him and asked him if he was Deni's (my other brother) brother. Then he said that they told him that they all had a crush on Deni. *giggles*

And Deni has similar stories about Nino. *giggles some more*

Ang cute, diba? AHAHA! :)

***
Anyway, I only decided to write here coz Im getting really bored from doing my paper for Eng11. I still have to work on another paper for Geog, read a whole book about popular movements (yes, rallies) in the Philippines, and (omygahd) I still have to study for an Exam in Kas1. Boo. Oh, and I still have to finalize things for @week. o:

Guess my break is over. But that wont stop me from saying hello to 2007! :)

Dreaming With My Eyes Open

2006-12-29T13:31:00.000+08:00

I have many dreams. Some I proudly tell the world, the rest I keep within the confines of my own mind. Secretly wanting something so unattainable may seem foolish to the unwary man, but to me, it remains as wishful thinking. It may go against evidence or rationality, but it definitely is pleasing to imagine.

Fear and uncertainty have plagued these dreams for as long as I can remember. One cant help but feel for the people who are afraid of letting their guard down, forgetting their pride, or even worse, breaking their hearts. But the risk that they fail to take is a chance that might never come their way again.

I've learned that running away from what you fear only keeps you trapped inside your own fences. Instead of going around in circles, unable to break the chain, you should run towards something that will eventually embrace you once you reach the finish line. At first, you may be able to dodge the very punches thrown at you, but you can only avoid them for so long. Once you get tired of eluding the minor blows, sooner or later, you will be knocked down by your own weakness. And from that frailty, you will fleetingly fall with only hope that someone will be there to catch you in time.

I still fearlessly dream. Closing my eyes to fall into the blankness and obscurity of reality to witness cut scenes I badly wish would carry on until I wake – that has been my way of revisiting my personal dreamland where I always land the lead role. In those reveries, I am the lead who jumps off a building, crashes a car, walks the wire, dives into the sea, and comes out of an explosion with nothing more than a scar in the eye. But despite that imagined immortality, I still yearn for that dreaming to finally die out. Eventually, I just want to live it - to live it, perhaps still with fear or uncertainty, but with enough heart to dare to ultimately fall in love. To fall deeply in love, even with my eyes open.

dahil mahirap mag log in sa YM at may topak ang DSL...

2006-12-27T22:19:00.000+08:00

You know you are way past the apex of boredom when even stalking doesnt satisfy your gauge of merriment. My body is on red alert (e.i. emptying the fridge of all its contents, getting an overdose of cable TV) for I am experiencing a critical shortage of happifiers. Considering that it has only been two days since Christmas, I should be compelled to "spread cheer, hope, and happiness" to the whole wide world. But alas, my deprivation of any worthwhile activities and decent DSL connection for the past few hours have been stopping me from doing so.

So to rid myself of any further symptoms of depression (haha), I hogged the PC in my brother's room and abused Limewire for all its worth. I probably downloaded around a hundred songs just because I was craving for some tender loving music. Being the neophyte Grey's Anatomy fan that I am, I decided to download every song from the two sountracks that have been released. I also found this site that posted all the songs used on every episode of all three seasons. Talk about song-hoarding.

My fondness of the first two seasons of The OC also got me downloading the rest of the songs from all five mixes. Oh, and the latest season feels so incomplete without Marissa. Ryan and Taylor? Its cute, but weird. The drama isnt as "attaching" as it used to be. As if I dont have enough drama in my life... Hahaha.

*Sigh* Ugh. So bored. Might as well answer surveys. :P
Got this one from Ma's multiply.

2007 is just a few days away! It's time to bring out those year-end surveys!

What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
I got drunk (well, people got me drunk); graduated Top 7 *boasting*; got my driver's license; planned a party; attended, participated, and had a debut/debuts; DROVE FROM BATANGAS TO MUNTINLUPA (MANUAL) :D; went out to watch a movie/eat on a school night; rode the MRT/LRT; commuted/rode taxis; lived away from home; sleptover; took care of wasted boys :P; went out of town with JUST friends; did some serious marketing; was out very late without worrying about my parents looking for me; got into a real college organization; passed UP. :D

Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didnt make resolutions, but listed a number of predictions instead. (Refer to previous entry)

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes.

Did anyone close to you die?
Yes.

What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Discipline - in studying, eating, and sleeping. More money. And how about a decent love life? Haha!

What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory?
I suck at remembering actual dates. But Im great at reminiscing. :P

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
(Ive got a lot so allow me to feel good about myself. HAHA.)
Graduating top 7 in my batch; writing the lyrics for GSET; passing UP, La Salle, Ateneo, and UST and getting into my first choices; commuting alone in Quezon City!; driving a manual car. Lol.

What was your biggest failure?
Not having said goodbye to my Lolo personally before he passed away.
And missing being a University Scholar by .35 o:

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes. Occasional flu attacks. o:

What was the best thing you bought?
I rarely buy things for myself. How about that hair straightener? Haha!

Where did most of your money go?
Fooooooood and going out. Oh, and credits! O:

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Graduating from high school. Bargas parties. First day of college. Debuts. Landbank gig. Sta Rosa/Tagaytay trip. AIESEC Week. :P

What song(s) will always remind you of 2006?
Ever After. Ugh. Love Generation. Chasing Cars. And how can we forget Narda? Hahaha.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Way happier! :)
ii. thinner or fatter? depends. Ive been getting really fat -then thin - then fat again - a lot. Weird.
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer. I do get a bigger allowance, but Ive been spending way too much too.

What do you wish you'd done more?
Exercise. Read. Sleep. Write. STUDY.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Eat. :| And tambay? Haha.

What was your favorite TV program?
Grey's Anatomy, Lost, and The OC. <3

What did you want and get?
Getting into BAA. More dancing. That 1.75 in Math17 (okay nako dun, lol). Great new friends. A busier life. More freedom. A laptop!! And a charm bracelet. :)

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Had a party for the batch before graduation. But on my actual birthday, I ate out with my family - then was surprised by Boggs, Tim, and Jana when they visited me at home. :) I turned eighteen (oo na, matanda na ako).

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I had met up with my high school friends more. And if I had travelled more. And if I had gotten a new phone instead of losing my old one. :(

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Flowery skirts daw? Haha. Um, I just wear whatever i feel like wearing. :P

What kept you sane?
The people Ive come to love in AIESEC. My best friends. The internet. YM + my blog. My roommates. My brothers. :)

What political issue stirred you the most?
Sino ang tatapos? Morales vs Pacquiao. Hahaha. Just kidding.
The TOFI issue in UP. Im pro.

Who did you miss?
High school barkada. Sr-G. Search-inners. Certain people ;)

Who was the best new person you met?
(Let me list a good bunch..) Alexis, my long lost twin. Ricoy, my fellow jologs. Jer-emo, everyone's stalker. Cara, my mother. Eva, my shrink. Henri, our dear Shasha. Emman and Ayen, my inquisitors. Crisette, our Abigail. AJ and Denise, for never failing to make me laugh. BJ Mmaniackk (Kat, Kay, Malco, Basti, Mara, Marian, plus Dre, etc.) for all the memories weve had together. The whole of AIESEC UP-D, for making my freshman year a blast. Ryan and Mikki, my SocSci buddies.Brenda and Marie, my roommates. at marami pang iba! :D

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
Take risks. Fear shouldnt stop you from caring for someone.
Never miss a chance to be with your family.

And taking from Ma and Meredith Grey:

"At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away."

What did you like most about yourself this year?
Ive learned to believe in myself more. Really. :) The optimism and faith has gotten me a long way.

What did you hate most about yourself this year?
My lack of discipline.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than Id been by far"

Was 2006 a good year for you?
Definitely. Ive never been happier and more satisfied :)

What was your favorite moment of the year?
UBE at the Sunken Garden with Chrissie and Alexis. We talked for hours while lying on the grass and staring at the sky while being serenaded by guys with guitars in the background. :P

What was your least favorite moment of the year?
Receiving that text while I was in Starbucks with Fio and Chrissie.

Where were you when 2006 began?
Here in Muntinlupa.

Who were you with?
Family.

Where will you be when 2006 ends?
Down sooouth. In santa rosa :P

Who will you be with when 2006 ends?
Family again.

Do you have a new years resolution for 2007?
No. But Ill be making a new set of predictions. :P

What was your favorite month of 2006?
March and the last few months of the year.

What was your favorite record from 2006?
Alicia Keys' Unplugged.

Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2006?
Enough I believe. Lol.

You do anything you are ashamed of this year?
OMG. Making a mess after Justin's party. Sorry Chrissie! o:

What was your proudest moment of 2006?
Finding out that I got into UP with BAA as my course. :)

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2006?
I just laugh at all my embarrassing moments anyway.
Oh oh, I remember! When crush1 caught me "rejoicing" after seeing him. HAHA.
He turned his back and saw me raising my hands while silently uttering "YES!". He caught me doing that and gave me this mischievous smile. He had that smile on his face until he reached the end of the hall I think. Pang-movie, diba? Haha! (Lets just hope he doesnt read this, lol)

If you could go back in time to any moment of 2006 and change something, what would it be?
I wouldve gone to Lipa with my family to visit my Lolo for the very last time.
And I wouldve prioritized Math17 and wouldnt have cut my NatSci2 classes too. Boo. Lol.

What are your plans for 2007?
Get better grades for the second sem, live through BA 99.1 and 99.2 and all my other major subjects for my soph year, make AIESEC week an effing success! :P

How are you different now that the year has ended?
Ive learned to look past the difficulties and anticipate the satisfaction of overcoming them. Im braver now too. :P

What are your wishes for the new year?
Aside from the usual wishes for my family and world peace (haha), better grades (US na dapat), live through my first dive into BA /stat, etc., more UBEs with friends, and <3 style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">

Happy New Year everyone! :)

A Revelation

2006-12-27T03:53:00.000+08:00

Opening the page took my breath away for a few good minutes. I think my hands even started freezing from all the gasps I had taken. Every line, every word...had me doing what that silly :O smiley does. And I thought I had already seen and heard everything back in high school, but I guess I was wrong.

All this time...and I never knew. I never really thought...until that night.
And even after that, I didnt think...

People may have had insinuated a lot of things, but I never really took them seriously, thinking they were just kidding around.

But now that I know, doubts have been cleared and questions have been answered.

Im running out of words to say... but thank you. For everything. :)

of dancing and so-called men

2006-12-26T22:49:00.000+08:00

(Ive been flooding my entries with photos, I know. Sorry to the non-DSL users. :o)

Junior Year Modern Dance
I found these pics in Dixie's multiply.

Arent these girls just sizzling? Nene pa kami nyan. Haha!

spot me and get a prize! :))

From Mariah's Heartbreaker to Happy Feet's Jump and Move, Ive been dancing to a lot of songs since I was the dark little honor sec girl back in Grade School. Ive never really dared to consider myself as a "dancer" before, but after people started noticing that I could wave my body in a GRO-like manner (or a Sexbomb dancer if you may) and follow a few steps or two with ease, I realized that I could actually include it in my not-so-long list of talents.

This year, seeing the UP Streetdance Club's performances and having danced for BACBACAN 1 and 2 have got me thinking of seriously learning and polishing whatever "talents" I may have in the field of "movingyourbodyliketheresnotomorrow" (thats what my friend used to call it). I havent had the time to really consider trying out for any dance group or anything, but the drive has always been there. (If this had been the case a few months ago, I wouldve been so game to try out for the UP Streetdance Club because of "crushing" reasons, if you know what I mean) Haha! I have always had a thing for guys who can dance (or sing, or draw, or play the guitar, etc...), but that is beside the point. :P

BJ MmaniackKs Landbank Gig

We got paid 1K each for this. Ohyeah! :P

Im taking Streetdance lessons for my PE now, and I never thought it would be REALLY HARD. My Sexbomb-like waving skills are being put to the test here, people. Haha! But seeing Sir J (yihee, Chrissie!) and all the other REAL dancers flawlessly doing their thang (haha) on the dancefloor while putting everyone in awe and even earning money for it has really made me admire them like I do other people who are oozing with talent. (Yes, I find talent sexy.)

BACBACAN pracs may have gotten me unimaginably exhausted and stranded in a place other than my dorm room at 1 in the morning, but despite smelling really bad and feeling really sticky after dance practices, the rush of adrenaline you get on the actual performance makes it all worth it. Oh and not only that, but it also gets rid of unwanted calories and paves the way for UBEs and matchmaking (aka tuksuhan na walang katuturan) among the dancers too! And that is why dancing will always be one my favoriteeeest. :)

If anyone out there is in need of dance performers for an event, just leave a message and we'll get back to you. Haha! BJ MmaniackK, at your service! (And no, we are not escorts.) :P

***
In other news...

alexis capili: this is so weird
alexis capili: kasi napapaisip ako demmit
alexis capili: :))
Nikki Librada: haha..yeah. i know the feeling..
alexis capili: ang evil nilaaa. i swear it's a frikkin conspiracy among dudes

Facing the same predicament at the same time? We really are twins :P
And this is bad, because they have got us thinking.
Why must they hide from us like sissies? WEIRDOS.

alexis capili: like i said. MEN.
alexis capili: *in harsh, gruff tone of annoyance and frustration*
Nikki Librada: haha yeah..oh well O:
Nikki Librada: bahala sila :))

alexis capili: ang evil talaga nikki
alexis capili: PURE UNPARALLELED EVIL
Nikki Librada: hahaha..isnt it just annoying?!

Men. Cant live with em, cant kill em either. Haha. :P

Final Report on Predictions Made for 2006

2006-12-25T22:33:00.000+08:00

On January 4 2006, I made this list of predictions (instead of resolutions) and posted another Mid-Year Report last June to upadate myself of the things ive already accomplished. Since 2006 is almost over, here's my final report for the year :D

This year I will...

~~learn how to say no.~~
~~appear strong and be strong.~~
~~lessen my vanity.~~ I did, didnt I? haha!
~~travel more.~~ I may not have gotten far, but Ive definitely moved a lot o:
~~play the piano again.~~ I learned new pop songs! yay! I felt compelled to play again during the milenyo blackout. Wala kasing magawa. Haha!
~~muster enough courage to drive alone.~~ i did! sa loob nga lang ng village. I accomplished something big today though..I DROVE FROM BATANGAS TO MUNTINLUPA! Yeahboi! :D
have a boyfriend. um, NO. Still very single and ready to mingle! :P Hahaha!
~~stop crying.~~
~~learn how to commute.~~ im no longer a novice. i have now been promoted to uh, a "regular commuter" haha! thank you youpeee. :D
grow 2 inches. ASA. i need more sleep and Cherifer. haha!
~~have my eyelashes permed.~~
~~go to my desired college.~~ I love UP! :)
~~lose something valuable.~~ I lost the red bracelet my parents bought for me from Switzerland o: AND MY N6600 :(
~~buy a digicam.~~ bought one right before the grad ball
~~cook a delicious meal for someone.~~ my lolo counts as someone right? :)
~~leave the house.~~ ive spent my weekdays for the past six months in Quezon City and will soon be moving to Sta Rosa, Laguna :D
~~have a one-of-a-kind debut.~~ I dont know about the "one-of-a-kind" part, but MasQueNada sure is worth remembering (considering it only took us a couple of days to prepare for it and that it was set on an unlikely date)
~~get drunk.~~ that was one helluva experience to remember. lasingin ka ba naman ng mga kaklase mo! haha. twas a good thing my friends were there to take care of me, and even though my dad was the one who picked me up, di ako nahuli! >:) update: di pako nalalasing ever since naging college student ako. am ii a good girl or what? hahaha!
~~win an award.~~ id like to think that the flimsy certificate i got for being Top 7 was an award. oh, we won 3rd place for our play too last year (which i co-directed) and won 1st place for GSET! :D
~~get together with my barkada.~~Jana's, Julie's, Marge's, etc. debuts! :D
~~graduate with flying colors.~~
go to Bora. :( maybe next year
~~get my license~~. non-pro! :D
~~earn money on my own.~~ BJ MMANIACKK gig at Landbank! got 1K for dancing! haha! :) (thanks for reminding me fuents! lol)
~~be featured on a mag.~~Well, our picture appeared on BAC2YOU, didnt it? haha. Maybe next year? :)
~~receive flowers.~~
~~watch a concert.~~madami sa aking unibersidad!
~~sleepover at someone's house.~~we slept over at our other house in sta rosa! that counts! and it was a blast!
~~have my hair cut or straightened.~~ had it cut right before my birthday. was thinking of having it straightened, but my Mom and friends protested, haha. wavy hair's the way to go :P
~~get more sleep.~~
~~have a blast in my first year in college.~~Thanks to the special people who made this possible! :)
cry during graduation. this didnt happen coz I cried AFTER o:
~~miss my room~~.I so felt this during the first few months of being away from home.
~~blog less often.~~My entries are all senseless now. haha!
start a book.
~~enjoy the prom.~~ pre-prom's full of drama and hassle. you just have to enjoy the night itself :) oh and i had a date this year too.
~~be hooked to something.~~ Chocnut forever :x and TheOC! and Grey's and now, Prison Break! And Raisins! Haha!
~~attend a wedding.~~
~~meet loads of new people~~.I SURE DID!
~~be scolded at.~~
~~strengthen my faith.~~
return to Zobel for SI retreats. I havent visited Zobel since grad. Boo.
~~read some long-ass book.~~
~~curse less.~~
~~be braver.~~
~~kiss and be kissed.~~ sa cheek. friendly kiss. so technically, NBK pa rin ako. Hahaha.
~~be more open.~~
~~be Ms. Hitch.~~ para sa mga may problema sa puso :P
~~spill a secret~~.Marami nito sa AIESEC :P
~~say goodbye to a friend.~~ I miss you Cao!
~~get sick.~~Im still sick now. haha
~~dance till the morning.~~
~~miss my HS friends.~~ badly :(
~~bump my head real hard~~. literall and figuratively
watch the sun rise or set with someone. Sayang. Didnt happen.
~~be more laid back.~~
have a picture taken with a hotshot celebrity. where are you wentworth miller? haha!
witness something close to a miracle. still waiting.

If they dont happen, then they hopefully will the year after...or the year after that..or the year after that... :)

Thats 50 out of 58. Not bad right? :)

Now, I just have to grow 2 more inches, go to Bora, cry during my college graduation, return to Zobel, watch the sun rise or set with someone other than myself, meet up with Wentworth-my-love and have my picture taken with him...
and for the remaining two...

me having a boyfriend = something close to a miracle.

Hahahaa. :D

Merry Christmas! :)

Happified Holidays

2006-12-22T12:01:00.000+08:00

Chocolate cake 2 nights ago, blueberry cheesecake last night, and sans rival today - oh how I love the Christmas season!

Its a time when the fridge gets filled with chocolates and fruit cakes that end up in everyone's tummies by the end of the break. Never mind the bulges that the many Christmas parties could give you, as long as your heart is fattened along the way, all the sharing of laughter and blessings make up for it all.

Its a time when most people seem to find that someone with whom they can share their warmth with during those chilly December mornings for Simbang Gabi. With people flocked practically everywhere, its not hard to pick out the ones most special to you and make them feel that way. Whether it be through undies as presents, a box of chocolates as goodies, or just simply a big warm hug for a dear friend, they all spell out the same message of love.

Its a time when families find an excuse to pack their bags and head to those places significant to them to take in the Christmas spirit. A simple dinner at home with the traditional giving of gifts appeals to those who long for an intimate celebration. Some prefer big gatherings where the whole clan comes over to fill Lola's house with kwentuhan and laughter. Choosing to spend Christmas eve with the people you most love only manifests how much they are valued. Whatever the size or the price, no gift could ever take the family and friends.

Its also a time when people forget about all their problems and just simply feel thankful for what they have. It may not actually be the day when Jesus was born, but from it grew the dauntlessness of giving without expecting anything in return. No matter how heavy your burdens may be, the genuine smiles of the people around you melts the worries away and gives you the right to be happy.

This year, I met new friends, stuck with my old ones, and found another - in me. Although this Christmas feels incomplete without my Lolo, knowing that the loss had let me gain even more consoles me. I have a million things to be thankful for and hopefully Id be able to give that all back. But for now, learning to live a good life while drenched in love by my family and friends is more than enough. :)

To everyone I love, thank you for touching my life.
To everyone else, Merry Christmas! :)

*Im leaving for Manila in a while. Then were heading to Lipa after. Weve spent Christmas in my Lolo's house all my life - can't wait! :)*

random thoughts

2006-12-21T00:58:00.000+08:00

I love my barkada! No matter how many new friends I meet, no one could take the place of good old high school friends with whom Ive practically shared my "childhood"/ growing-up-years with.
I missed you Abet, Mariel, Jana, Danielle! We have to see each other more often!
Julie! We missed you! Sayang you couldnt come. :(
Chrissie? Im getting sick of you. Haha. Joke lang! I still love being with you!
Marge! Belated Happy 18th Birthday! My life wouldnt be the same without you. I love you! :) *pics from Marge's party to follow*
***

I know its mean to make CHICHI about other people. But somehow, everything they've shown/done/said has got everyone thinking.

Are they...? o:

***

I find it weird how after a person makes his "presence felt", he, all of a sudden...disappears.
Weird.

Sta Rosa sleepover/Tagaytay Trip

2006-12-20T01:18:00.000+08:00

They say a picture is worth a thousand words...

these pictures are worth a lot alright.
The memories that come with them are PRICELESS. :)

more pics at my multiply! :)

Im still sick. Boo. :|
Hope I get allowed to go to Marge's party. I CANT miss that. And Raffy's party too. WUAH. Sorry I missed your birthday celebration Dixie. :(

Uploading pics has been a pain in the bum! Ive tried uploading in multiply, in yahoo, and even in photobucket, but it still takes me hours to even upload a few pics. Somebody save me from this uploading hell. Haha!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEBBIE! :)

P.S. - Its surprising how my blog's gotten more hits again. Heavy blog traffic, eh? Must be because most people are on their Christmas break already - more idle time to spend on stalking maybe? Haha! People, tag me please! Comments and tags make me happy! Haha..Leave me a message on the tagboard on the right - just please put your name - scary stalkers not allowed. And dont use my name either. Wokey? :P

And oh no, how could I have forgotten...

BELATED HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, TEMPORARY MADNESS!:)

http://supergurlnix.blogspot.com turned 2 last December 3!
After 550 posts, who wouldve thought that we would last this long? Haha!
It has acted as my silent confidant and loyal keeper that it's become part of my life already.
Here's to more years of ranting, rejoicing, emo-ness, and love :)

Last school day of the year

2006-12-16T12:00:00.000+08:00

*Will write more when I get back from our *drum roll* major sleepover/Tagaytay trip from tonight to Monday morning! Woohoo! :) Ian, Jerome, Jolo, Henri, Ayen, Eva, Denise, Crisette, AJ, and (hopefully) Alexis are coming over to our house at Sta. Rosa! UBE na 'to! :)

We walked to AS to "watch" the oblation run, but to our dismay (haha), we only saw their heads (the real one on top of their shoulders, okay?) and the roses they had with them. Sayang, gusto ko pa naman ng rose. :( Hahaha!

We got bummed after finding out that the Lantern Parade was cancelled, so we opted to do our own "parading" instead - in SM North that is. Tinotoo na naman jologian-ness namin all for the sake of having fun! Haha! :))

We entertained ourselves with the drum thingy, and the shooting game, and (again) Dance Maniax. Hahaha! I love it! :)

Then, we ate at KFC and enjoyed several rounds of "Werewolf".

Me: "I am not the werewolf! Im innocent! Im just a villager!"
A case of really bad acting. Dammit, I cant lie. Haha! :P

And we ended the last school day of the year with a blast! :)

*Poch, Macky, and Dous came over to our college too! They wanted to watch the Oblation Run (hmm bakit kaya?) and the Lantern Parade kaya lang di na nila naabutan. It was really great seeing those (must I say) "hot" guys again. Diba Chrissie? Haha! :)

feeling good :)

2006-12-15T09:39:00.000+08:00

Note: This was typed Wednesday night. (Now I know that I really need to register to my dorm's WiFi already. Lol)

December 13, 06

After reviving my closet from its cluttered death, and doing a make-over on my poor overused dorm room bed, I readied myself for lengthy sleep I so well deserved. But after 6 decades of my rose-scented maroon beads, I felt that the day I just had deserved more recognition and reminiscence. I just couldnt let it pass without putting into words how everything that had happened on the 13th of December fattened my heart.

***

Our first Math100 long exam, as ridiculously easy as it was (compared to Math17), was victimized by my anxiety attack. I have now proven that I cant stay lax before an exam even if I had already studied for it a few days before the actual date. I felt uneasy thinking all along that the problems were too easy, ergo, carelessness took over. Boo. Anyway, enough of that.
Oh and Starbucks was a bad choice over Bo's Coffee, but having good friends right beside me, going crazy over unfamiliar limits, was no mistake. :)

Moving on...

Another choice I had to make was to either go to JMA's TBA or attend AIESEC's PCMC visit. I have always had the latter in my list of things-to-do-before-I-die, and so I decided to remain loyal to my first org (along with Chrissie's swaying) and went to the Philippine Children's Medical Center instead. The overwhelming condition of the children we met there broke my heart. Seeing those tender bodies in pain at a very young age shook my optimism, but despite how everything seemed so unfair to them, seeing those little children's hopeful eyes made me admire them all the more - for their strength, will, and desire to get better and simply live.

And thats when I realized...thats something most of us should stop taking for granted.

My prayers will now include baby boy, Sanjoe, Thrischa, Ian, Carlo...and all the other children who are in need of God's healing. Pray for them too :)

***

Walking through SM North's crowded floors twice in a day is no joke. But if youve got great company with you, with a common goal to find that perfect gift for Kris Kringle, and tons of laughs to share, it will all be worth it. Never mind that you walked along the polluted streets of Quezon City and hogged the MRT's airconditioning, or ditched your daintiness by challenging each other to a game of arcade racing, drumming, or hand-swooshing (whateveryoucallthatcoolgame, haha). As long as youre having fun, it still pays off to feel like a kid again.

Oh btw Chri, a nice necklace with a pendant would do. Or chocolates. Or anything purple. Hihi. :P

***

AIESEC's Christmas party made me laugh so hard that my insides still hurt until now. The small gathering kept the whole thing intimate, and even though we ended early, the fun generated by the weird games compensated for everything else. So maybe I was put in three Sukebes and randomly selected for the dating game (hahaha), but what the heck, I had fun. I was stuffed at the end too, so what more could I ask for, right? :) <3 AIESEC UPD!

***

As incoherent as this entry may seem, these paragraphs cant contain the fulfillment resonating within me now. It just feels so good to have, and to share.
It just feels so damn good. :)

Its 2:30 am and Im still awake.
I have a 10am class tomorrow.
AdCore meeting at 11:30.
PE (ang hirap ng streetdance) at 2. (Note: Chrissie and I cut PE yesterday and stayed at the JMA tambayan instead. Hahaha!)
@Week OC meeting at 2:30.
@Week planning with Alexis at Bo's Coffee Club at whatever time.
And (insert surprise plans here) <---(Note: Guess this transpired after all. Instead of going to Bo's, we ended up going to SM North AGAIN :P)

Whew!
Good night :)

P.S. - "If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?" was in my dream the other day. I just remembered. :O Wth? Haha!

***
December 15, 06

Yesterday (December 14), was a repeat of my feeling-good day. From enjoying Dance Maniax, eating at Cerealicious, to singing Jologs songs while waiting for a cab - all these and more have been keeping me on a high. Thank you to the people who made that possible. :)

Im off to BA in a while.
Were supposedly "watching" the Oblation run later. Lets just see if I muster enough willpower and dignity to even stand anywhere near those naked men. Haha!
Im excited to watch the Lantern Parade for the first time ever tonight! I even invited my family to come. Yay!

Anyhoo, here's to another feeling-good day! :P

Of holding on or letting go

2006-12-10T00:49:00.000+08:00

I got teary-eyed at the very words he gave while my heart swelled at her confessions. I felt for my friends. Somehow, getting caught up in their relationship as an onlooker has gotten me tangled up in their own dire wants and confusing pains. I am not one to speak of their reasons, but when it boils down to a pitchfork in the road - a grave matter of holding on or letting go - either way, no one is exempted from the hurt that comes along with it.

Experience has taught me that trusting your mind, and only your mind, is never safe. Weighing out what is right from what is desired always turns the scale into a dysfunctional tool. Choosing what is right now from what will be better tomorrow is almost always full of uncertainty as one tries to dodge the propositions of the heart.

The cyclical endings of my life's chapters have also embedded a virtue of taking risks and avoiding regrets upon me. From that, I learned that you should take the power to choose what you want, what you love, and what you wish to do with your life. No one else can do it for you. Only you could make you happy.

Whatever happens, Ill be here for you two.

He loves you, she loves you.

Thats all there is to it.

Maybe...

2006-12-09T02:22:00.000+08:00

or maybe not.

***

I am compelled to fill this space out with interesting and supposedly-witty narrations of my life's mundane unfolding, but that urge to do so is outweighed by the need to feel the ground again and land back where I elevated from.

After all, life really is all just about the ups and the downs.
You have to choose to hang on to the ups, and drive yourself out from the downs each and every single time.

Its all a matter of timing.

***

I want the week to end already. I wont be able to go to Tuesday's ABAM/AIESEC/PX victory party thing, so I guess err that's that. Im excited to witness the Lantern Parade this coming Friday though. I need a break. My much awaited seclusion from the world is nearing again. *Evil laugh*

Can't wait for our Sta Rosa-sleepover/Tagaytay-trip! :)

***
My Christmas anthem:

Last night I took a walk in the snow
Couples holding hands, places to go
Seems like everyone but me is in love
Santa, can you hear me ?

I sign my letter that I sealed with a kiss
I send it off and just said this
I know exactly what I want this year
Santa, can you hear me ?

I want my baby, baby
I want someone to love me someone to hold
Maybe, Maybe
Be all my own in a big red bow

Santa, can you hear me ?
I have been so good this year
And all I want is one thing
Tell me my true love is here
He's all I want just for me
Underneath my Christmas tree
I’ll be waiting here
Santa that’s my only wish this year.

And yes, its by Britney Spears. Hahahah :)

Dreaming of Adieu

2006-12-03T21:53:00.000+08:00

The garden was filled with tall shoots of grass growing with the rhythm of my every step. Clotheslines blocked my view of what lay ahead, but it wasn’t too long before I realized whose suspended body it was, peacefully sleeping, right before me. I maneuvered through the bare lot to come closer and reached for the white tainted chemise that hung above him. My vision zoomed into his very face and from impulse, I carefully uttered, “Goodbye Lolo.”

A breath of sigh echoed through the background along with the resonance of leaves dancing to the blowing wind. As was I getting ready to leave, I felt a magnetizing desire to look back - to just wait and see if he would respond. A nervy desire, yes, but it was a longing I was willing to give into.

Following my immediate line of sight, I circled the empty garden and receded from the path I planned on taking. I gazed at the very familiar face with a contour beautiful just like my own. It was then that his eyes started to open. Slowly and intimately, they opened for me, as if stripping me of all fears. It was an unguarded moment that had no touch of fright, only of hope and anticipation for a split second I had been praying for.

I have insignificant memory of his unwritten response in my head. But I remember him, with his eyes still fixed on me, bidding me, and the people we both loved, goodbye. “Goodbye Nikki” are the words still faithfully etched in my reminiscent night scene. And with that latent reverie, I trust that his sending off has been both dauntless and tranquil. And from that visit, I know that he’ll forever be just by my side, watching over me, still with that unforgettable smile.

Counting down the days

2006-12-01T00:42:00.000+08:00

Clearing my head of thoughts unheard of by the world apart from my own is a task I shall leave to the wind blowing past my windows tonight. The last month has just stepped aboard the threshold of a year full of firsts, and soon I too shall leave them behind and have the rain wash them away. Somehow, Ive been stunned by the endless truths that have slapped me in the face. The placid route that my days have taken did not fail to surprise me over and over again. From an overwhelming dive into the pool of unrecognizable faces, to the amazing feat of succumbing to the call for independence, it has been a ride worthy of celebrating.

Here's to the last days of the year. :)

***

Im excited for @week! I love our team. Were all so good together. Haha!

Yay AIESEC! :)

***
Bacbacan2 is in 5 days.

My body's covered with bruises from dancing and doing "stunts". Im still amazed by how those guys manage to actually lift me. Yes, all hundred++ pounds of me.

I actually miss going back to my dorm with the sun still up in the sky. And going home every night soaked in sweat and dirt hasnt been very nice.

But it's all been fun! Hope all our hard work pays off. Go Yellow Bazookas! Hahaha. :)

***

Stop messing with my head.

Else, Ill move on to the next best thing.

Undecided

2006-11-30T00:26:00.000+08:00

Maybe its just because of my aching body that Im feeling down...literally. But when youre already physically exhausted, the rest seems to follow.

But its still best to hold back.

Today I found out that...

2006-11-29T23:36:00.000+08:00

my crush-crushan is gay.

And get this...
my former crush-crushan...was his ex.

GREAT.

Guess Ill really end up in a convent or with another girl.
Guys find the latter hotter though.

Hmmm...

It

2006-11-28T23:10:00.001+08:00

Its fun to giggle every once in a while at the very sight of it.
Every petty encounter makes life more worthy of spending.
It makes me feel like a young schoolgirl again.

It is ideal.
It is dreamy.
It is perfect. Almost.

If only it were mine...

What's not to love?

2006-11-27T00:15:00.002+08:00

Staring at the star-lit sky while lying on the grass with great friends...Sharing your innermost schizophrenic-like self to the most unlikely counterpart...Recounting the silliness of the past upon catching a sight of each other again after a long time...Savoring the cold night wind enveloping your face as you cut through the air in two wheels...Resurfacing of companionship gone by...Taking on an ambitious feat calling for all your drive and energy...Pushing your body to its limits and dozing off with a sore core...Confusing yourself with thoughts of the relentless whatifs and shouldis...The fulfillment of a longtime wish and need...The realization of what should be done and what is to happen.

Need I say more?

***
you never know what youre missing until you try.
tumo-torpedo.

Brewing beneath the steam

2006-11-20T20:49:00.000+08:00

Cheerdance practices are exhausting...but Im (hopefully) losing weight anyway, and Im actually sweating (as horridly stinky as it may sound) and mind you, that hasnt happened in a really long time. So it's all good! :) I think this is benefitting me more than I thought, since I end up focusing on my acads as soon as I get to my dorm room after the late practices. Aah...balance achieved. :P

***

Mondays and Thursdays have turned into routine lunch dates with Ricoy and Alexis, and dance sessions with Chrissie. Tuesdays and Fridays have kept me struggling with 3 subjects in the afternoon (with no breaks, ugh), but at least I have Basti and (who else but) Chrissie to accompany with the information overload. Aside from losing my everdearest phone and running out of precious-tummy-filling allowance, the second sem's been...okay. Refreshingly okay. :)

***

I miss my ROOM - my REAL room that is. I didnt go home this weekend since we had practice, and my parents are still out of the country, ergo, no transpo. I miss my parents! :( Even though it costs me P10 (I think) per text, I cant help but send mushy daughter-ly messages to them. Ive always complained about how my parents never showed "affection" towards me, but it was only later that I realized that I myself should take the initiative in giving "thank yous" and "love yous", hugs and kisses, and all that cheezy stuff. And to my surprise, my actions were reciprocated more and more as I grew older. Parents are sometimes hard to crack, but we offsprings should know that the simplest texts and most solemn nightly prayers instantly melt their hearts - the same way they do us. :)

***

People have always wondered why Ive remained single since birth. It is a status that was made by choice, and things will come as soon as their ready to drop out of the fragile box. Sooner or later, it will come. :)

***

Ang gulo na ng multiply. BOO!

Oh, and instead of joining JMA, I might join AdCore this sem instead. And AuxCorps. Then apply for an OC VP position for AIESEC. Ohyeah. Haha. O:

***

Im so hungry that I could eat this guy(beside me)'s sandwich. Haha!

Gotta go! :)

Yellow. Orange. And blue. ;)

bumabangag

2006-11-16T03:25:00.000+08:00

Fuuuuudge. I didnt sleep tonight and yet I didnt do anything the whole day.
Very very very poor time management skills, Dominique. Tsk tsk.

I have to attend 2 dance practices today - sleepless.
Thats what I call a zombie...zombie...zombeh-heh-heh.

BANGAG MODE ON.

Im going back to Katips in a few hours. :)

Were they talking about me?

2006-11-15T20:51:00.000+08:00

Another text from Danielle -

Symptoms of ZERO LOVELIFE:

1. Mahilig kumain

2. Sanay sa outings

3. Tulog ng tulog

4. TV/Computer addict

5. Daydreaming lagi

6. Tumataba

Are you one of us?
Hahahahaha! Aylavit. :)

the week that was...

2006-11-12T00:02:00.000+08:00

Having had experienced the agony (not to mention the calluses and aching muscles) that manual enlistment in UP brought from the 6th to the 9th is no joke. If people there are so smart, why cant they come up with a more effective and FASTER (must I stress on this even more) enrollment? Should the Iskolars ng Bayan suffer lining up for hours only to find out that their IDs will be raffled to get into leftover slots? I say, this measly process must cease to exist.

My schedule's almost the same as last sem's, except now Ive got PE to worry about.

9-10 am daily for Math 100 - My prof, Sir Harris, is hilarious. He's one of them im-still-young-and-brainy types, and he has no problem laughing around with us. First question he threw me was "Kung ikaw ay gamit sa banyo, ano ka?" I answered, "toilet paper, so that I could clean up after people's acts." But he misheard me and thought that I said "people's ASS." So he asked me again, "Sigurado ka ba? Para kanino mo gagawin yun?" I replied, "Para sa kanila lahat *points to class* sir, kasi classmates kami lahat." Everyone kept on giggling since my prof still thought I said "ass" - I know, coz he even asked me after I went back to my seat, "fetish mo ba yun, asses?" Haha. Iloveit.

And Im vowing to get an Uno for this subject too. Bleh.

10-1130 MTh for Geog1 - Im classmates with Dan Salvador, Tanya, Kathleen and a few other familiar faces for this class. At first I thought we were getting Yany Lopez, who I heard was nice and generous with unos, but a young female prof showed up. Her name's Ms. Pamela Crosby. Im sure she's nice too, but Im worried she might be too boring that Id end up yawning in our airconditioned room.

1-230 MTh for Eng10 - Im taking this with Chrissie and Adrian, and if my eyes havent failed me yet, I think Sam de Asis is in my class too. Havent met the prof yet either, but Adrian said we landed the tamad-but-okay prof who didnt assign too many papers *jumps for joy*. Belat na lang dahil di kami de Ocampo - di na kami Ri-ricoy. Haha.

1130-1 TF for Soc Sc1 - Basti, Chrissie, and I were the last ones who got to enlist for this class. I LOVE OUR PROF. He's so active and funny! For an elderly professor with matching thinning hair (it sounds mean, but its stressing on his maturity here), I think Im getting a taste of the UP experience with him. This seemingly ultra-intelligent and reasonable teacher who manages to contract "Do you understand?" and "Naiintindihan nyo?" to just three syllables appealed to me on our first meeting - hope it lasts till the end of the sem (all the way to my desired GE uno!) haha!

1-230 TF for Kas1 - My prof didnt show. Tapos hiwalay pako sa class nina Chrissie at Mikki. Boo.

Tentative 4-5 MTh for PE (Streetdance) - I have to prerog for this tomorrow. Henry and Rachel are gonna be in the same class, and its STREETDANCE, so Im looking forward to it.

Enough of my schedule. I just had a sudden flashback of the week that had drained my wallet form all its contents and filled my stomach and arms with even more unneccesary fats. Hahaha!

Im nearing bankruptcy, and thats bad since Christmas is just a few weeks away.

***

Wednesday - Went to Gateway with Henry and Alexis to watch The Covenant oozingly hot Steven Strait <3!> Ate at Taco Bell and indulged in a banana split after. Oh happiness! :)

Friday - Since our Kas profs were nowhere in sight, Mikki and Mik dragged Chrissie and I along to Makati. Passed by Greenbelt and eventually made our way to Dads in G4. And again, we fattened ourselves with their Meryenda buffet until we couldnt stand up and walk right anymore. Oh, Mik, Chri, and I passed by The Face Shop's makeover set-up and had our faces "cleaned" too! Haha! Chrissie and I ended up commuting back to Quezon City, and my gahd, riding the MRT during the rush hour was choking but we survived it anyway. Wooh! :)

Saturday - AIESEC Membership Selection Interview. I didnt "study" anything, so technically, wala akong alam. Good thing majority of the interviews were subjective. Eva and Marlowe *grins* for the EBs, Azlan for the trainee, and Amy of UA&P for the MC. It went pretty well considering I knew nothing about the non-trivial facts of AIESEC, but at least I was able to answer the questions. Yay! And Azlan even complimented me and told me that I was very well-spoken (ME?!) and that it was a very good interview (or did he say that to everyone else?) Haha. Im thinking of applying for the OC positions...but then, thats just me thinking. :P

***
Went to Festi earlier to look for laptops. My Dad's leaving for Singapore on Monday, and hopefully, by the time both my parents are back, they'd have a new baby with them. A shiny, smart, and effective electronic baby that is :D

***
And for the tragedy of the week: MY PHONE WAS STOLEN LAST THURSDAY.
Ricoy and I were in an Ikot jeep on our way to the gym then. I was sure I put my phone inside my bag right after I sat down - Ricoy even saw me put it in. After a while, I got my wallet out of my bag to get coins and pay the driver, and then I heard the *Beep!* from my phone indicating that I got a message, since I was texting Henry then (for my PE). And so, I tried to feel for my phone and frantically searched my bag for my dear 6600 and its fluffy purple thingy. But I couldnt find it! I immediately asked Ricoy to call my phone so I can hear it ring, but I didnt hear anything! Before we got down the jeepney, Ricoy even checked my seat to see if it fell or whatever, but it wasnt there either. :( BOO YOU - whoever you are who stole my phone, sana makarma ka! >:) Hahaha.

I will miss you N6600 and all the memories weve had together. :(

But Im surprised by how Im not TOO bothered by it though. Probably a result of my detachment to it during the sem breek. Tee hee. Somehow, my materialistic instincts are not kicking in. And even though Ive been demoted to having my brother's old phone (N1100?) for the meantime, Im not complaining. :)

Erase my globe number people. As of now, Im using my old Smart sim (0919457****).
Ill buy another globe sim tomorrow. Haha.

***

Weh, antok na ko. Its only 12:50 (ohyess, new sleeping time).
I cant believe I actually studied in advance for Math and Geog. Am I a nerd or what? Hahaha.

On the first day of my second semester...

2006-11-10T19:23:00.000+08:00

my phone got effing stolen. :(

Of sarcastic frustrations and some

2006-11-05T00:46:00.000+08:00

My Mom's leaving for Singapore tomorrow.
My Dad's gonna follow next week, then theyll go to Malaysia too after.

They're both leaving without us again. Phooey. (They still owe me that European trip - hah! asa pa)

If there's one thing Im definitely not, its well-travelled (is there such a word?). I consider Boracay as the summit of my not-so-distant world, and thats nothing compared to where my parents have been. *frowns* I know I have no right to complain though. Long travels do spell big bucks (money which I have yet to earn myself), so I guess Id have to live with my dragging frustration.

Someone take me to Peru's Machu Picchu (& to Oprah's doorstep)!!!

(My knees wobble in high places, but ever since I saw a photo of this ancient city, Ive been constantly drawn to it. Hmm..I must have been an Inca in my past life. Cool.)

I know typical choices for i-want-to-get-there-someday places would be sunny beaches and artsy fartsy or techie cities. But as much as Id love to go on fancy vacations there too, I have this thing for historically-rich and nature-driven countries like Spain (and France and Italy and Greece...okay, so maybe those are given), Africa, Mexico, Russia, Saudi Arabia, etc.

If only I had flying powers... tra la la.

If I were to wed, it should be to a big shot (moreno/chinito) tycoon who owns his own supersonic aircraft...

okay fine, so that means Im never getting married. :|

***

My confidence is at an all-time low. My first ever college sembreak has turned me into a fuglified kolehiyala. To think I had every reason to "improve" myself with those weeks of practically NOTHING. Guess all these distractions (read: Grey's Anatomy re-runs, multiply-stalking, imported DVDs, nearly-unlimited supply of Chocnut) served their purpose well. My ultra-divided attention to the unimportant things have prevented my concentration on the other more important things.

This derangement must stop. Or else, Id be twice my normal weight in two months.
With volcanoes growing out of my face. Eew.

***
I WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL. I mean, err, college.
but please, not this weeeeeeeeeek! so bad timing!

And why must you appear now, right when he's there?!
Bleh.
***
I think Ive succeeded in achieving what others thought was impossible - Ive detached myself from my phone. Yes, mother dear, I no longer hold my (very much abused) N6600 day and night. The echoing "You have a message!" is no longer heard inside the shower. And no, those nights of vibration (oh, ang utak) and beeps are long gone.

It must be Smart taking its revenge on me.
Since Ive become "one of them" I lost my "appetite" for my daily doses of goodnight messages, kilig texts and the likes. On the other hand, Ive rekindled friendships (yes, globe people) and formed new ones - truly, great things were made possible. (Nyeh, Nikki)

***
I got my non-pro already.
Here's a fun fact: I got my license on the very same date (last year of course) I got my student's permit.
It says on the license that Im from "CARMONA, CAVITE"
Hahahaha. FIXED beybeh :P

***
Im still gravely sulking over that almost-US standingwhatever. 1.485. Rarr. *malamig na hangin*o:
Nat Sci2 is undeserving of my hatred.
I swear, career mode na to! Haha.

were like fire & ice - hot & cool :P

2006-11-04T12:18:00.000+08:00

GC

2006-11-03T15:47:00.000+08:00

1st Semester (17 units)

Math 17 - 1.75
Eng 1 - 1.25
Philo 1- 1.25
Soc Sci 2- 1.25
Nat Sci 2 - 1.75
PE - 1.00

GWA: 1.485

(Now, allow me to rant...)
That makes me a College Scholar then (thats if I computed for my GWA correctly)?
BLEH. To be a Univ Scholar a GWA of 1.45 is required. DAMMIT. So close yet so far! O:
Nat Sci 2 kasi eh. Di na nga ako magcucut. And I shall limit the uncalled for trips to SM/Gateway and unsought tambay hours. :| Hahahaha.

Okay, I must remember next sem that MATH 100 (Intro to Calculus) = 5 units. And that my math class isnt for studying for my other classes. o:
Must. nerdify. myself. :)

first on my christmas wishlist

2006-11-03T14:49:00.000+08:00

"Oh, crystal ball, crystal ball
Save us all, tell me life is beautiful
Mirror, mirror on the wall

Who is the man I see
Where Im supposed to be
I lost my heart
Under the iron sea"

I LOVE KEANE.

It doesnt surprise me why their keyboard-dominated music and poetic lyrics appeal to me so much. Soft-rock is perfect for the "emo but nots" for it captivates ones fancy for melodramatic tunes. Ive loved them since "Somewhere Only We Know" and up until "Atlantic" came, Id still have myself drift off to dreamland while lullabied by their music.

"And why'd you say
Its just another day, nothing in my way
I dont wanna go, I dont wanna stay
So there's nothing left to say?"

Seeing Through

2006-11-03T01:13:00.000+08:00

I know Ive seen her before.

A first glance may deceive one for her bashful and reluctant ways, but eventually, this deception is outgrown by depth and intricacy. The smile that never failed to radiate her keen ambition fell upon the immediate recognition of others. To the many with whom she had crossed paths with, she was close to being ideal. But to the few who knew her very well, she had been diagnosed with incurable drama.

Time escaped her without nothing more than a lapse of age. Compared to her past, she was less the optimist, and more the doubting Thomas. The smile had been stiffly moulded to her face but it instantly disappeared from sight when no one was looking. Her ignorance of the many doors that opened as she passed by them ramified into fickleness and restlessness. She developed intolerance of anything that thwarted and hindered her from finding a way out. But little did she know that it was she who refused to pay attention to her liberty.

One familiar to even the best of us, her first step to recovery was owning up to her fear. It was from that very same fear that her acuteness to insensitivity arose. She had always known she was worth more, but she never knew exactly what she was worth. She grew tired of the tedious cycle she had thrown herself into. Tired of the hesitations, exhausted by the complications, and irked by the monotony, she had had enough.

Until now, she continues to wring every once of goodness that pervades her reality.
I still see her - still with that smile and the incurable drama immortalized by her soul - only, stronger.

World's Best Universities

2006-11-02T22:21:00.000+08:00

World's best
By Michael Tan
Inquirer

Global ranks

Let's look first at the THES-QS list of 20 leading universities. Note that there are ties so there might be occasional skipping of numbers: Harvard (1st), Cambridge (2nd), Oxford (3rd), Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Yale (tying for 4th), Stanford (6th), California Institute of Technology (7th), University of California in Berkeley (8th), Imperial College London (9th), Princeton (10th), University of Chicago (11th), Columbia (12th), Duke (13th), Beijing University (14th), Cornell (15th), Australian National University (16th), London School of Economics (17th), Ecole Normale Superieure (18th), National University of Singapore and Tokyo University (tying for 19th).

Most of the universities are American and British, but there is also representation from Australia, France, China, Singapore and Japan. Most of the leading American universities are private; in fact, on that top 20 list, the University of California Berkeley is the only American public institution. When I went on to the top 500 universities, I found that in

all countries of the world, with the glaring exception of the United States and one other country (which I'll name later but which you may have guessed), state universities lead in the rankings.

Asia's best

I decided to pull out the Asian (to include Australian) universities from the THES-QS list and found that among the world's 500 leading universities, 90 are from Asia. Japan leads with 28, followed by China (including Hong Kong) with 16, Taiwan with 8, South Korea and Thailand with 7 each, Malaysia, Indonesia and the Philippines with 4 each, Australia with 3, Singapore with 2 and Bangladesh with one.

Do be careful with those figures since it's not just a numbers game. Australia and Singapore have few universities on the list, but they are all high up in the ranking.

Enough with the suspense. Let's look at how the Philippines did. The University of the Philippines (UP) came in 299th globally and 47th among Asian universities. I have to say that's not too bad, considering how UP has had to plod along with shrinking budgets and with the flight of so many good professors. Trailing behind UP were three private universities: De La Salle (392nd), Ateneo de Manila (484th) and, talk about a photo finish, the University of Santo Tomas at 500th.

UP is still among the world's best, but if we worked harder on the entire educational system, we should have more reason to be proud. Ultimately, we should be able to look at these university rankings as indicators of our current development strategies, as well as predictors of the country's future.

UP Pride, baby! ;)

Read the whole Inquirer article by Michael Tan here:
http://opinion.inq7.net/inquireropinion/columns/view_article.php?article_id=28506
***

runs in the blood

2006-11-02T00:48:00.000+08:00

DREAMS ARE ILLUSIONS...
LIFE IS A LIE...
WHEN YOU LIE TO YOURSELF...

When the sun sets on my day it always leaves me as if fearing to be with me. Now, i'm left to bask in the darkness which has its claws in my throat. Thos same hands have forced me to rise once again. After all that has happened i had lost all hope of my light, all possible thoughts and feelings towards the light were now the property of this darkness that had embraced me. The hoped that the light would stay away from me now. I was now one with the darkness, i would only weaken it again. Such light was a gift to the world, and i was the reason it weakened. I couldn't stand the thought of making it go through that again. I was now crying, tears that waited for so long to fall on my cold heart now fell on it burning it with its intense feelings. All that i asked the darkness was that it stay away from the light. It agreed but in the process i had to stay away as well. I hadn't expected that but it was important to me that the light was never to weaken because of me. I stood there in my lifeless state, whose tears were burning his heart and with the sun leaving him with the darkness at the end of each day...

-frozen heartbeat

I didnt write that.
The whole thing's from my brother's blog.
"Frozenheart" is what he calls it. :\

Guess whatever this is - its in our veins. Haha!

***
I seriously cannot spend the rest of my life doing nothing. The utter boredom is so numbing that its starting to hurt.

And Im fuglier than ever.
Great.

Looks like all this jiving matches the day of the dead.
How amusing.

"When you wish upon a star, nothing happens..."

randomousnessity :)

2006-10-31T00:53:00.000+08:00

I want to DANCE.

BACBACAN 2!!!
Streetdance for PE!!!
Woohoo!

***

Im not one who usually rants about my weight (as badly as most girls anyway), but a lady's got to stay away from the nasty curse of bulges and flabs right?
Ive done nothing the whole sem break but eat and sleep. I know I was in dire need of those two during our hell days of school, but now I think Ive had too much.
Must. learn. how. to. move. again. :\

***
I scared the crap out of myself last night by watching those freaky shows they played on TV. The paranoia got the best of me so I ended up sleeping with the lamp on...and with the book of "How To's" in my arms.

***
I miss dreaming. And remembering my dreams. Bleh.

***
The people from Cebu are coming back tomorrow. Ang saya nila :)

***
Things to do with brothers when bored:

- sing and dance to worship songs ("one waaaay... to the ends of the earth... yes lord, yes lord..")
- munch on adobo flakes with suka
-Google Earth (v.) every familiar place to you (Bahay ni Nino/Bahay ni Deni/Mom's Office/Ate's dorm)
- guess each other's YM passwords >:)
- O2jam our way to musicality
- pretend were nasty hoodlums and kill rival gangsters (The Godfather on PS2)
- watch Homer Simpson's funniest clips on YouTube and laugh our butts off

Who says I need I a boy when Ive already got these two? :P

19 Things A Girl Loves From A Guy (U2 feat Pon & Zi) :)

2006-10-30T23:29:00.000+08:00

Cute much. :)

Sarbey. Im bored. Really bored.

2006-10-26T23:51:00.000+08:00

[001.] Change your eye color, what color would they be?:
» bluuuuee. or a more distinct brown?

[002.] Have any hair color in the world, which color?:
» dark black. Or dark brown.

[003.] Instantly be fluent in one language, which language and why?:
» Ive always wanted to learn Spanish and French. Even Greek. And okay fine, Chinese.

[004.] Instantly be able to play an instrument, which instrument and why?:
» The guitar! Ive badly been wanting to learn how to really actually play it, but time hasnt permitted me to do so. :(

[005.] Get any job in the world and be good at it too, which job would it be?:
» I would sooo looooove to have Oprah's job. Or Dyan Castillejo's.

[006.] Live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
» The Bahamas. Or Spain. Or somewhere eccentric. Haha!

[007.] Join any band, which band would it be?
» any band? The Beatles - coz duh, theyre legendary. Or Keane or Aqualung - coz I love their music.

[008.] Have any superpower, what would it be and why?
» Id want to have genie powers (aka grant wishes, tralala)

[009.] Relieve one of your favorite memories, which one would it be?
» Our Search-In Retreat. Debuts Ive been to. HIGH SCHOOL! Our gig for Landbank! Haha. (Okay, so maybe that wasnt just one :P)

[010.] Magically alter any aspect of your appearance without any pain whatsoever, what would you do?
» My short legs. Or maybe Id rather stretch my entire body so Id grow taller. *bitter* :\

[011.] Eliminate one bug from the planet, which one and why?
» RATS. Enough said.

[012.] Bring any TV shows that went off the air back, which ones would you bring back?
» Saved by the bell! Will & Grace! The old Power Rangers! Haha! Popular!

[013.] You were president, what changes would you make to your country?
» Id try to find a feasible solution to overpopulation, improve our educational system, mend our electoral process, bring back credibility to the judicial branch of our government, etc etc etc.

[014.] Could become an animal, which animal would you be?
» A dolphin. :) (Without lesbian tendencies)

[015.] Eliminate any ice cream flavor, what would it be?
» Ube. :O Chocopeanut forever!

[016.] Eliminate one season, which one and why?:
» The super kaduper over hot days. But then those days dont count as an actual "season". So none. Summer and Rainy seasons are love. :)

[017.] Improve one of your five senses, which one would you improve?
» My common sense. Nyaknyak.

[018.] Instantly become famous, what would you want to be famous for?
» I want to win the Nobel Prize. Or Pulitzer. Or at the Bridges of Struga Festival for poetry. Anything that would bring glory and pride to my country. *taas noo*

[019.] Change your name, what would you change it to?
» Either Sophia, Cheska, or (if I wanted to be "unique") Zuleika. But Nikki's just fine. :)

[020.] Paint your room, what colors would it be?
» Starbucks-like. Or purple. Pastel colors. :)

[021.] Be an instant millionaire, what would you do with the money?
» Splurge on food, buy my own car, put up a business and then put another one up for charity (that way, the assistance would go further).

[022.] Meet any famous person, who would you meet?
» Oprah! or Maya Angelou. :)

[023.] Master one school subject, which subject would you choose and why?
» Math. Yeahyeah. Nagfeefeeling :P Haha! Or Biology.

[024.] Visit any planet, no matter how far or how bad living conditions are, which would you visit?
» Saturn or Venus. Coz theyre pretty. :P

[025.] Spend an unlimited amount of money in any one store, which store would it be?
» How about a store that sells laptops, video consoles, digicams, and all those other tech-y stuff?

[026.] Go back to one of your younger ages, what age would you be again and why?
» Maybe back when I was uhh 10. Or better yet, 16. I would have loved to have stayed sweet sixteen forever.

[027.] Get one piercing and/or tattoo without any pain, what would you have??
Id want a navel ring >:) Or a superman logo/rose tatoo on my lower back.

***

*9 lasts...

9. last place you were:
- The kitchen. >:)

8. last cigarette:
- :D Technically, Ive never actually had one, okay? O:)

7. last beverage:
- Milo. Its a beverage right? lol.

6. last movie seen:
- The Sentinel (coz of Keifer Sutherland and Eva Longoria) and Slither. (OMFG! THE MOVIE WAS SOOOOOOO GROSS!)

5. last call:
- My mom called me earlier this afternoon.

4. last CD played:
- Umm, Alicia Keys' album (the one Cao gave me - Hi Cao! :)

3. last bath:
- this morning.

2. last time you cried:
- Uhh, this morning? While watching Ice Princess on HBO (for the nth time - and I still cried! haha)

1. last alcoholic drink:
- the drink Fio gave us during Bandit? haha!

**8 have you evers...

8. have you ever dated someone twice:
- twice? date? uh..maybe? lol.

7. have you ever been cheated on:
- :)

6. have you ever cheated on someone:
- No.

5. have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it:
- No. I dont think Ive even ever kissed anyone. O:)

4. have you ever fallen in love:
- Perhaps?

3. have you ever lost someone:
- Yes.

2. have you ever been depressed:
- I am now.

1. have you ever been drunk and thrown up?
- Hahaha! Chrissie! Justin! :P

***7 provinces you've been to...

1. Batangas
2. Laguna
3. Leyte
4. Pampanga
5. Bulacan
6. Bataan
7. Pangasinan

**6 things you've done yesterday

1. Watched DVDs
2. Read Jane Austen's Emma (Im halfway!)
3. YMed - as always.
4. Pigged out - as always.
5. Lifted some weights. Hahaha.

***5 people you can tell anything to.

1. Danielle
2. Jana
3. Justin
4. F
5. Ate Joy

***4 places you want to go (NOW)

1. Macchu Picchu ruins
2. CEBU (wuah NLDS!)
3. Europe
4. Palawan

****3 favorite colors

1. Purple
2. White
3. Red

***2 things you want to do before you die

1. Publish a book.
2. Change the world. (yeah, big dream eh?)

***1 thing that is on your mind right now?
- I shouldve gotten my driver's license today. AND I should be in CEBU right now. Bleh.

...like it was taken right out of my head

2006-10-26T23:26:00.000+08:00

Taken from Sarah's multiply

im sure all the girls can relate to this.

So this is to you. Treat him right, okay? He probably doesn't deserve it but I know he needs the best he can get & if I can't be the one to give it to him..I want you to. I know that everytime I look at you I would love to see you out of his life but you just have to understand that he was my life for so long & it's going to take me a while to let go of the fact that he's in love again. & I know he loves you. I can tell by the look in his eyes when he sees you that you mean the world to him. He used to look at my with those eyes. I could've sworn they told me he loved me too but things change & I'm learning to accept that. So don't be angry at me if I still cry when I see you two together. You've got to understand that I could've spent the rest of my life with him & wanted nothing more. You've got to understand that I looked more forward to seeing him than anything in the whole world. You've got to understand that I never wanted to let go but I had to. He hurt too much to keep. So take care of him, okay? He needs it. & even though it kills me to say this..he needs you too.