Friday, December 03, 2004


Crush
You see him walking up the stairs, carrying his bags filled with books, notebooks, and clothes for their practice in the afternoon. He’s with his best friend and they smile at you at the same time. “I can start my day now” you whisper to yourself, and then smile back at them. You choose to stay in the corridors so you can study there and see your crush at the same time. Instead of hanging out in the library like you always did before, you decide to stay there for just 10 minutes or so, head to the chapel to pray, then go straight up to your classroom. For some reason, you do this because you want to see your crush first thing in the morning. Pretty obsessive huh? But perhaps you just want to satisfy yourself. Maybe you just want to see him because whenever you do you feel your stomach jump up a bit. Perhaps you go upstairs right away because you just want to study and mingle with your other friends there as well. Or maybe you’re just too infatuated to even think straight...
Since we were in diapers (or maybe not), we’ve all had our share of thrilling moments. We used to see our childhood crushes near the swings in the playground, in the classroom with the teacher, near the fountain where he used to tease you, and stuff like that. We enjoyed the moments of being teased to him - the “yiheeees...” and the singing of “...sitting in a tree! K-i-s-s-i-n-g!” For a number of people, it would be the opposite. Some of us went through a lot of embarrassing moments with our crushes. We used to cry whenever we were teased to him. These moments are just unforgettable. Whenever you try to reminisce these precious moments, you cant help but laugh at yourself...and still feel that tingly feeling you used to get whenever you came near your crush.
How about the “now”? Now that you’re in high school, these things tend to get a bit more serious. You see couples everywhere – you see girl-boy tandems and love teams, you see men escorting lovely ladies to their classrooms – these sights make you squirm at times, yet you tend to think “When do I get to go through that?”
You see him again, but this time, he’s looking straight at you. You feel your stomach jump to your throat once more. You get all conscious and start fixing your hair. You then try to look away for the feeling of awkwardness is just too overwhelming. Whenever your whole class teases the two of you, you tend to just smile. Crushes – perhaps that is their main purpose. To make you smile, to make you feel good about yourself, or maybe to make you practice the art of flirting. But nevertheless, we should just take them lightly. A crush isn’t as deep as “liking” someone. It isn’t even close to “loving” someone. We should always put our minds above our hearts. Maybe crushes were made for us so that we could have something to look forward to everyday. Who knows, that crush may even blossom to something even deeper, but we should always be cautious of our feelings, these things can hurt you as well.
We’ve heard of a lot of heartbreaks and sorrows. They all started with a crush. I don’t believe in “love at first sight”, I believe in “infatuation or attraction at first sight”. These are things we should always take into consideration. Whenever we have a crush on someone, or like someone, or love someone dearly, we should always be ready to face whatever plight comes our way. Whenever we venture into crushes, we should always be aware that we could get hurt. They wouldn’t call it a CRUSH if it were supposed to always feel good...

- n|x - was loved at 5:44 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


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