Sunday, October 30, 2005


Rain, rain, go away...please.
"I love to hear the thunder, watch the lightning when it lights up the sky. You know it makes me feel good. Well I love a rainy night, it's such a beautiful sight. I love to feel the rain on my face, to taste the rain on my lips in the moonlight shadow. "

- Chris A. Bridges

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Sometimes you just want to see things in a different light. Sometimes you want to see things that arent really there, just so you can console your empty heart with the fact that you are not alone.

But sometimes, pretending just doesnt cut it.

There come nights when everything you thought was hidden beneath your sh*ttiest bunks come crawling back into your cloaked surface. As if being an undercover realist wasnt enough, your old schmaltzy ways seem to knock your head like a piece of debris that came falling from your own heaven.

Dont get me wrong though, this youngster's done with the salty tears. The rain had already washed them away. Im over it, and now its time for me to numb.

But truth be told, those raindrops may vanish from our sight while the bright circle's high, but these drops of water go on to that cycle we all call life. No matter how hard we try to hide from them, they will never cease to exist, and all that were left with is the reality that it will all eventually come falling from the skies again - we just have to be ready once it comes.

Maybe, you just have to look up - and face the rain - knowing that its the closest thing to heaven. =)

[-edit-]
wow.
The night I wrote this, I thought that I was already being rational and vague.
But now that Ive read it again, it sounds so pathetic pala. Haha.
That is what the rain can do to me. O: Lol.

Im super duper okay now. =)
I owe it all to a good friend who helped me realized a whole lot of things.
"A whole lot" would be an understatement really.
Thanks to him, Ive re-learned how it is to take a risk. =)

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This is for our "baby"! Haha. Stewie oh! :P
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- n|x - was loved at 3:48 PM
[link to post] [2 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Tuesday, October 25, 2005


A Tribute to Guys
Today my left shoe got soaked by rainwater that dwelled in a puddle for a good five minutes. The gentleman who was driving that L300 drove right past me and Danielle, unknowingly and annoyingly headed straight for that puddle and my skirt and socks ended up getting a nice cold shower.

Grrr. What a way to end my day.

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Sir Flu showed the powerpoint presentation about abortion that I worked on last Sunday till 3 oclock in the morning to the other sections. He even said itll be part of the exhibit downstairs or something.

Wheeee. Fulfillment. :P

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I was knocked on the head again by a realization so classic that I failed to recognize it before it even hit me (again).

Guys are twisted.
But they get even weirder when they are in love.

Kids and adolescents have a lot in common, you know.
If you think that loud boy from 1st grade was crazy enough to give you a heartshaped cake out of the blue, then maybe youd be surprised to find those 1000+ text messages your high school sweetheart keeps in his inbox - from the very first smiley face down to the last "Gnyt!"
If you found it silly for that boy to share his fear of spiders with you, then maybe you wont find it too unusual to learn that your guy is afraid of his own anxieties and grief, heartbreaks and emptiness, insecurities and loss.
If he had saved you from being late for class time and time again, then maybe now you cant thank him enough for always arriving in the nick of time - just as you begin to cry over the missed busride.
If you shared a friendship that date back to your preschool days which grew from smiles and noddings round the corridors, then maybe now you share a special bond - regardless of how much you pinch and punch each other, there still lingers the meaning that only you two know.
If you let that boy come into your life so casually, walk in and make himself at home, then maybe now you cant imagine how it would be if your guy werent there.

These boys probably never even realize that despite all your nasty bickering, jawbreaking laughs, nauseating tantrums, occasional TORPS-attacks, and endless weirdness, we girls appreciate how you make us feel necessary to someone, and loved.

This love shouldnt make anyone feel squeamish, with the thought of mush and cheeziness running through ones head. This appreciation doesnt only give reasons for that kind of love - for it accounts for so much more.

The male species will forever remain vague and blurry to us girls, true.
But humanity probably wouldnt have survived for this long if not for the silly and at the same time, amazing things that you guys do.

So if you feel yourself a failure at courting that girl of your dreams, inadequate by the worlds standards for not having that macho body, stupid for havng let that one great opportunity pass - then it would be our turn to look you in the eye, lure you back to life, and set to untangling the mess youve gotten yourself into. =)

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Okay, that wasnt exactly a cohesive entry, but I just had to write something.
It was triggered by my concern for a guy friend who shared his girl-problem with me.=O

I still find it weird how guys come to me for advice though. Its as if I serve as their loveline (what a way to say it) whenever they end up panicking frantically after something happens with "her". And its even weirder how they say that my advice actually works.

Weytaminit.
What am i supposed to know about those things in the first place? Haha.=P

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Note: I was looking for an image that would suit this entry, and I found this.
Dont get me wrong. I dont find guys stupid (all the time). Haha. DEEH. :P
I sound so sexist. Lol.
So anyway, just for a laugh, here it is:
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- n|x - was loved at 6:24 PM
[link to post] [3 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Monday, October 24, 2005


Before I Die...
I found the little notebook I used to write on all the time last year, and found this list of things I WANT/NEED to accomplish/experience/do before I die. I realized only now how fanciful and crazy my mind can get, and how "asa" and laughtrip some ideas can be. But anyway, here are some of the things I wrote back then:

PS - Pls hold back your laughter, for my pride s sake. Haha.

1. to be serenaded
2. a song dedicated to me
3. to graduate with honors (and to stay on stage on graduation day)
4. to tone my arms
5. to get a perfect score in a philosophy test (hey, i got the highest score in the batch in our philo finals last year, the one with fallacies and stuff, bwaha)
6. to write a novel/story and have it published
7. to write (an) article/s for a national newspaper
8. to compose my own songs
9. appear on TV
10. watch at least a hundred movies (im not much of a moviegoer kasi, hehe)
11. have a pic taken with Tom Welling (bwaha)
12. watch an Alanis M./Alicia K. concert LIVE
13. to weigh less than 95 pounds
14. to meet the Pope
15. visit the Vatican
16. spend a week in Disneyland
17. visit the Childrens Ward at PGH
18. record my own song (with me as the vocalist, ahaha)
19. henna tatoo!
20. learn how to play the guitar
21. DRIVE!
22. win a formal debate
23. be able to swim 100m non-stop - without drowning
24. wear a bikini - in front of actual people (haha)
25. fill a whole room s walls with pics
26. read all the harry potter books
27. own a puppy!
28. have my own portrait done :D
29. plant a seedling - and eventually see it grow into a big tree
30. go scuba diving!
31. to actually have a collection of something - aside from trashy sentimental stuff, haha
32. deliver an inspirational talk
33. donate (amount of money here) to the poor
34. help build a house with my own hands
35. compose a praise song
36. jump from the edge of a building
37. visit Mindanao and enter a Mosque
38. to be able to hang out with someone I just met for a whole day
39. see my name in the sky
40. compile all my poems
41. choreograph a whole dance routine
42. wear a supergirll costume and have my pic taken
43. cuddle a cat
44. survive in the dark
45. visit the ruins of Machu Pichu
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46. fly
47. reach the top of a mountain
48. have my own secret garden
49. build a tree house
50. free a bird from its cage
51. reach the end of a rainbow
52. trail along a river
53. bear a child
54. go on a cruise
55. hide in a cave
56. go under a waterfalls
57. swim with dolphins
58. own a horse
59. engrave my name on something
60. win an award for poetry
61. to be someones miracle
62. meet Oprah Winfrey and Maya Angelou
63. invent something
64. stay up for 3 days straight
65. walk down the aisle
66. bake a cake
67. milk a cow
68. be blown away by the wind
69. visit the Chocnut factory
70. save a life

plus a whole lot of other more hilarious things.

Ive got quite a long list, so I better not die anytime soon. :P
- n|x - was loved at 6:24 PM
[link to post] [5 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Saturday, October 22, 2005


Icons galore

Random thoughts:

Im bored. My whole family's out and Im left here in my room with stupid (menstrual) cramps. Yes boys, girls sometimes end up locking themselves up in their rooms because of their monthly visitor. Hehe. :P

Oh, sembreak na sa Friday! whoopee! I definitely need that break. :P

I wanna go trick or treating too! Anyone up for it?:P

Oh, and check out >>MY MULTIPLY<< I uploaded pix from our outreach and a few others. :)

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Warning: if youre on prepaid, its gonna take you a while before these pics load. Sorreh. :o

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Is she HOT or what? =P~

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- n|x - was loved at 7:42 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~



Congrats! :D

CHAMPIONS (yet again) =P

Congratulations to DLSZ's Football (boys) team for winning today's championship game against Southridge!
You guys have definitely brought pride to Zobel.
Animo! ;)

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"The tao does not come here tonight to be judged, but to judge.
Here then these accusations and his sentiments."

Congratulations to:

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Senior F (1st place), Senior C (2nd place), and Senior E (3rd place) for winning in yesterday's Speech Choir Contest! >>more pics here<<

The whole batch did great! Whoever said that were NOT the "star batch" must be eating his/her words now. >:)

"...and may God have mercy on your soul."

Oh, and thanks to the whole of Senior G for cooperating with me and Cel.
We may not have won, but weve proven to ourselves once again that we can make things happen if we only will them to. We are now certified expert crammers. Haha.

We pulled off the whole blacklight-white gloves-neon strips thing. Oh yea! Unique tayo. :P
GSET! :P

Oh, and check out >>Mara Vee's multiply!<<>

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Creative shot idea no. 4: (nagffeeling na naman ako, haha)

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Before My Very Eyes
07.04.05

My world shed its skin
Right before my very eyes

From the expanse of shades that cascaded from afar
I grow closer to where you are

From the sheets of sheath that hid from the light
I give rise to esteem for each respite

For the leaves of scripts that formed my fate
I swept my path and scoured your slate

For the panes of glass which you shone through
I wiped every spot and made you anew

For the slips of notes you once sent me
I took away the fanciful words of hilarity

For the pages of memories we once shared
I saw through time and think how I was spared

For the screens of shadows you once hid in
I brought back the light and let it all begin

Look straight at me
I have proven your surmise
Your world has changed
Right before my very eyes
- n|x - was loved at 3:44 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Saturday, October 15, 2005


I can feel it coming.
I can feel it coming alright.
I can feel the freaking guilt Im about to face knowing that I had a lot of free time to study for the DLSUCET yet I chose to spend it all by lying down on my bed or daydreaming.
Talk about laaaaazy.

Everyone's been saying that its the hardest test as compared to ACET and the UPCAT.
Oh well.
Ill probably end up cramming tonight, and end up with big, black eyebags tomorrow.
Its a good thing Ill be in the same room with people Im familiar with.
Di na masyadong conscious. Haha. Deh.

But anyway, good luck to everyone tomorrow! =)
Wish me lotsa luck too, coz I definitely need it. :P

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If youre bored, lazy, or bangag (haha), visit MY MULTIPLY and answer the short quiz. :D

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Have you heard this commercial jingle on tv already?

"Jumbo, jumbo jumbo pack
jumbo sulit, jumbo pack
jumbo sa laki, jumbo pack
ang suka't toyong masarap
(name of product here)"

Well, if you havent, good for you.
My life degraded after seeing that commercial. Haha. (Im such a meanie, sorry.)

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I still havent decided on what pose/concept to use for my creative shot.
Everyone else has these great and unique ideas and I am left with jaded themes. Haay.

Do I go with:
a) the Supergirl outfit (I dont know how the hell Im gonna pull that off)
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(no, that aint me in the picture, haha)
b) Vintage Audrey Hepburn (nagffeeling lang ako)
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c) Pa-cute na Marilyn Monroe
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d) or the gorgeous locks of Veronica Lake?
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Watcha guys think? o:
- n|x - was loved at 4:37 PM
[link to post] [3 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Wednesday, October 12, 2005


Long time no see, world (wide web).
Thankfully, Im still alive. Although Im suffering from the ever-so-annoying common cold, and the not-so-alluring "pleghmatic" (is there such a word) cough, Ive still managed to get out of bed every morning.

I've got tons to write about, but since I banned myself from using my PC in my room (for a reason only I can know), I opted to just write my personal entries in my coarse, purple, diary. I havent actually written in my journal for months since Ive been typing my daily entries in my PC. And after feeling the the keyboard-typing-exhaustion, I've come to realize that nothing beats the distinctive feel of putting one's pen to paper.

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I had my class retreat last week, and boy did I have lots of fun.
From the kissing dares, Marco Polo, not-getting-sleep-at-all, down to every piece of pink paper (I got 75 all in all, woah) and long retreat letter I received...theyre now all held in reserve in my trunk of memories. Thanks to the people who made it extra special, I learned new things, strengthened new friendships, and loved the new(er) me.

Having read "I love yous" "Thank yous" and tons of compliments and feel-good-phrases surely made my (head and) heart seem 100x bigger than it actually is. Hearing someone tell you that "you're the most beautiful person I've ever met," "iba ka talaga, no wonder youre so loved," "youve been a great inspiration to me, and to everyone else," and a lot of other swank-worthy lines made me thank God all the more for these people Ive come to love. (Pagyabangan na to! Haha. Deh. Im sure you all had your fair share of prideful comments :P)

I probably ended up consuming half a roll of tissue during the whole retreat (coz if you know me well, youd know that Im a crybaby, especially when it comes to praying), but I dont care. I love crying. Most people dont realize that its one way of telling yourself that youre real, you feel, you care, you hurt, you live. Theres no shame in letting the tears fall.

Thanks to everyone who made my life a whole lot better than it seemed. =)
Good thing He gave me the greatest set of friends, and the most perfect life to be lived.

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I know this is pretty late, but congrats to the Junior Archers!
You guys made history! Animo! :P

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Life never fails to surprise me. Just when I thought I was ready to let go and eventually embrace the entirety of the situation, he came back to the picture and caught me right on time. =)

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I (KINDA) know a few chords in the guitar already! Woohoo!
Thanks to Justin, Toba, and the rest of the guys in class, I can more or less strum and move my fingers and those other things that amateur guitarists do. Haha.
Ang babaw, sorry. Matagal ko na kasi gustong magguitar. :D

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Gotta go! Its 10:23 pm, and I still havent done anything related to school.
Haay. This is what being a Senior is all about. Bwaha.

DLSUCET on Sunday! Room L333 ako! Kita kits guys! :P
- n|x - was loved at 10:12 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Saturday, October 01, 2005


The Greatest Story Ever Told
Its number 20something in my list of things to do before I die.
Its been my HD ever since I first realized I could write lines of my own and decently play the piano.
Ive been dying of envy of Alicia Keys', Alanis Morissette's, Kitchie Nadal's, Rico Blanco's, etc. undeniable talents.
And now would have to be the closest I can get to fulfilling that flight of fancy.

[-edit-]

GSET.
Nothing could ever beat the feeling of knowing that you have, in one weird way or another, influenced someone else's life.
Whether it be with the intensity of changing one's life's philosophy, or just merely trigerring a whole batch's LSS, one could feel the rush of fulfillment.

It was, after all, a search for a Lasallian inspirational song.
Together with Toby Concepcion (the man himself), and the rest of Senior G (love these guys), we offered our whole batch and the school something worth listening to.
And indeed, it was inspirational...

to me.

Seeing and hearing almost everyone in our batch singing and clapping their hands altogether made me realize how much Im going to miss once I leave Zobel.

Haay.

Even so, Im definitely glad that I made that decision to stay in my Alma Mater four years ago.
Having discovered great friendships and having shared outrageous memories with my batchmates was definitely worth it.
Having made a couple of my childish fantasies real during the course of my crazy high school life made me grasp the reality of incarnating a dream.

I love my batch now more than ever.
And with my class' upcoming retreat, Im dead sure I'll fall for those guys even more.

We've only got a few months to go before we finally bid our school goodbye.
Watch out world...
Coz we are definitely going to be the makers of the greatest story ever told. =)

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Awfully True...
I was searching the net for Jose Rizal's biography (for my brother's homework), when I accidentally stumbled upon this poem.
If you know me well enough, you'd be certain that I forget things that I read, hear, or say just like Dory.
But apparently, I remember, I remember reading this text back when I was still in grade school.

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It meant nothing to me then...



After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean possession
and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up
and your eyes ahead
with the grace of an adult
not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads today
because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn...
Veronica A. Shoffstall
...but I can feel every word of it now.
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Minsan, nagugulat na lang tayo sa mga katotohanan na ni minsa'y di natin naisip.
Minsan, sa mga taong di pa natin inaasahan ito maririnig.
Minsan, nakakatuwang isipin na tinuturuan tayo ng buhay ng di natin nalalaman.
Minsan, nakapag-papalagay ng loob ang malamang may karamay ka at di ka nag-iisa.
Minsan, kahit gaano mo gustong linlangin ang iyong sarili, sasampalin ka pa rin ng katotohanang matagal mo nang tinatakbuhan.
Minsan, masarap mabuhay.
Minsan, hinde.
Minsan, galit ka sa mundo.
Minsan, buong mundo ang galit sayo.
Ngunit wag na wag mong kalilimutan,
na ni minsan...
di ka nya nilinlang.
Ni minsan...
di ka nawala sa isip nya.
Ni minsan...
di ka nya nalimutan
Ni minsan...
di ka nya tinigilang mahalin.
Ni minsan ba'y nagpasalamat ka?
- n|x - was loved at 10:53 PM
[link to post] [1 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~



IM AT NETOPIA. WTH.
There's this old foreign guy to my right, and this totoy-ish lad to my left (who keeps on peeking to see my monitor). So this is how its like to be in Netopia, huh? Ahaha. Wala lang. First time eh, pagbigyan na. :P

I feel to uneasy to write about anything. I'll write about GSET (The Greatest Story Ever Told by Sr-G) as soon as I get home. :P

"In our blood runs a spirit of green
Full of valor, honor, and faith
To Him we offer our every deed..."

So for the meantime, let me post a couple of overdue pics here. :P

September 28
(Jana and Chrissie's birthday surprise)
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September 27
(with Mara and Danielle at gate 5. naaliw si Mara dun sa "happy-and-gay" flowers na binigay ni Cao, nagpapicture tuloy. haha. :P)
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(look its Champ Lui Pio! fyi: Hale's hot vocalist :P I used to have a crush on his brother, haha. I have no idea why he was in school that day though.)
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(SENIOR-G PICS)
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SR-G's RETREAT - OCTOBER 4-6
RETREAT LETTER KO GUYS! ahehe. :P

gotta go! my (netopia) time's up!
byee! :P
- n|x - was loved at 4:41 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


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