Thursday, June 30, 2005


My Life's Cuts
Lovin' It

More songs for my life's soundtrack. =D

---------------------------------------

For All Of My Life - MYMP

Come and lay here beside me
I’ll tell you how I feel
There’s a secret inside me
Im ready to reveal
To have you close
Embrace your heart with my love
Over and over
These are things that I promised
My promise to you

For all of my life
You are the one
I will love you faithfully forever
All of my life
You are the one
I give to you my greatest love
For all of my life

Ooh, Yeah

Let me lay down beside you
Theres something you should know
I prayed that you decide to
Open your heart and let me show
Enchanted worlds of fairy tales
A wonderland of love
These are things that I promise
My promise to you

For all of my life
You are the one
I will love you faithfully forever
All of my life
You are the one
I give to you my greatest love
For all of my life

All of my life…
All my heart…
These are things that I promised

For all of my life
You are the one
I will love you faithfully forever
All of my life
You are the one
I give to you my greatest love
For all of my life
-----------------------------------------------------
Especially For You - MYMP

Especially for you
I wanna let you know what I was going through
All the time we were apart
I thought of youYou were in my heart
My love never changed
I still feel the same

[1b:]*Especially for you*
I wanna tell you I was feeling that way too*
And if dreams were wings, you know*
I would have flown to you*
To be where you are
No matter how far
+And now that I'm next to you

[1c:]*No more dreaming about tomorrow*
Forget the loneliness and the sorrowI've got to say
+It's all because of you

[CHORUS:]
+And now we're back together, together+
I wanna show you my heart is oh so true+
And all the love I have is+
Especially for you

[2:]Especially for youI wanna tell you,
you mean all the world to me*
How I'm certain that our love was meant to be*
You changed my lifeYou showed me the way
+And now that I'm next to you*
I've waited long enough to find you*
I wanna put all the hurt behind you
Oh,
+And I wanna bring out all the love inside you,
+Oh

[CHORUS:]You were in my heart
My love never changed

---------------------------------------------
Carry This Picture
by Dashboard Confessional

Carry this picture for luck. Kept in a locket, tucked
in your collar, close to your chest. Make it a secret,
shown to the closest friends.

And meet me at quarter to seven, the sun will
shine then, at this time of year. We'll head to the
inlet. And we'll share a bottle there.

And color the coast with your smile it's the most
genuine thing I've ever seen. I was so lost, but now,
I believe.

And follow me south of the big docks, where they
tether the boats, the rich men revere as so
important, they hire our fathers to steer.

And down to the edge of the water, where we'll spill
our guts, and we'll name our fears. I'll give you this
picture. keep it and don't be scared.

And color the coast with your smile. It's the most
genuine thing I've ever seen. I was so lost, but now, I
believe in the coast, your smile is the most
genuine thing I've ever seen. I was so lost, but now,
I believe.

------------------------------------------------

Im back to eating rice again.
Ive been depriving myself of Carbs for the past few weeks, and though my stomach's bulges no longer exist, I ended up getting comments like:

Bakit parang ang taray mo ngayon?
PMS ka no?
May problem ka ba?
Bakit ang sad mo?
Tahimik mo ah

So, I have decided to once again, indulge in the delight of eating more than 2 tablespoons of rice and munching on no(t) less than a single slice of bread every day.

And guess what?
Life's been happening to me yet again. ;)

---------------------------------------------------------
[-i dont care if im the only single rose left in the bush. Im more than willing to wait for that stud who'd be brave and lucky enough to snag me-] =)

- n|x - was loved at 5:48 PM
[link to post] [2 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Wednesday, June 29, 2005


Stupendously crazy all over again.

"Ive learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou

Stupendously crazy all over again.

Its amazing how after all these months/years of being physically apart, we still managed to laugh our heads off at our inside jokes, our gossipping, our (their actually) amusing kilig kwentos, and most of all, ourselves.

Our interesting blather consisted of a number of bingi moments (just like the old days, but the drums and the loud plummeting of raindrops made our conditions even worse) and the atypical omg-you-have-a-boyfriend?! scenarios.

Made me wish all eleven of us were together again. And by together, I mean the very sense of the word.

Its funny how all the misplaced links in our friendships and disoriented connections with one another seem to make up an essential part of who we are as a barkada. Its virtuosos like us who manage to keep up with all the tittle-tattles and the pesky stereotypical stares-slash-perceptions. Its pretty odd how after all these years of being classmates, those recess and lunch breaks, those stressful groupworks and projects, those gimiks and bonding moments, and those heartbreaks and times of exhiliration, we still occasionally get discreet awkward instances, look all flushed when we get embarassed, snort and choke at those barkada-bra-and-panty conversations, and cry and laugh our young, innocent hearts out. Its also touching how these Homo sapiens sapiens with whom I have shared tons of Oops moments with still stand up for me, believe me, trust me, and safeguard me, no matter what. And its just as moving to witness a group of girls (and a couple of guys) shriek and scream at the sight of a badly-missed friend.

There's a lot more to it, a whole lot more. But words displayed on a computer monitor in vivid mode isnt at all enough to grasp the totality of our "cool and tigas" amity.

Its extraordinary. Its funny. Its superb. Its weird. Sometimes thwarting and tricky.

But above all, its friendship...something I'll carry with me to my grave. =)

From the bottom of my now-revived heart, thank you guys! ;)
(We havent exactly decided on what to call our barkada yet, so for now, "guys" should do it)

--------------------------------------

Ive been meaning to write about my Oops moments for the past few weeks, but because of the regular scheduling of quizzes and homeworks and other senior-year-induced activities, I have always ended up snoozing off to dreamland before I could even start reliving my stupidity.

But alas, all that foolhardiness has taken its toll on me. So to give off some of my good vibes, let me blab about some of it. =)

Strike 1: The oh-no mix-up.

Strike 2: Get this: I was the prayer leader for a day last week. That calendar day started as it had been for the past 2 weeks(?). Our class ended up facing a taray-look from our misunderstood adviser (yet again) and after the inconsequential morning ceremony, we all entered our classroom and I, being the monitor for the day, headed for the teacher's table to grab hold of the small piece of paper with the morning prayer in it. Its SOP to read what's written, so that's exactly what I did (with feelings pa, mind you).

Here comes the good part:

After the "Live Jesus in our hearts...forever. In the name of the father, of the son, and of the holy spirit. Amen" I heard Ms. Natividad utter "Okay class, remain standing" AND THEN I, on the other hand, absent-mindedly started SINGING.

"Bayaaang Magiliiiw...Handa..."

My thoughts during that moment: OMFG = oh mai freakin' gulay! what am I doing!?!?!

"...ay, sorry"

and then I flash this -> =D and walk back to my seat while laughing with my whole class. (take note: WITH them, haha)

The teasing of Kryon and Retsel and all the other people didnt help one bit, but nonetheless, I actually had fun laughing at myself.

Ms Natividad: "Nakakatawa ba? What are you laughing at? "

My thoughts: "At myself miss. And yes, it was hilariously funny."

bwahaha. I lurve it. ;)

Strike 3: I was on the verge of literally falling off my queen-sized bed. At 1:00 in the morning. With no one else in my room. And it was raining. (It was rather freaky actually)

Strike 4: You know that computer chair, with wheels at the bottom? The one you can adjust so it goes up and down like that? (obviously, I suck at describing things) Basta the kind of computer chair that Jan and Pao used to roam the computer room with. Ayun.

Well, I fell off from this computer chair Im sitting on right now for like, 5 times already. All within a span of 1 week. As in, I rest my head on my bed while my bottom’s still on the unstable chair. Before I know it, I’d be off balance and fall flat on my ass. Haha. Kanina nahulog ulit ako, tumama pa ulo ko sa cabinet. Imagine nyo na lang itsura ko Lol.

Strike 5: I almost stepped on a dirty cockroach in one of the stalls in the boys’ shower room by the swimming pool (good thing I had slippers on)

Strike 6: . . . and I forgot to bring my deo that day.

I cant remember the other things that happened to me though (whats new), but Im sure theres a lot more to come. =)

----------------------------------------------------

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting."
- E. E. Cummings

- n|x - was loved at 9:39 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Tuesday, June 28, 2005


cant live without u.

i know you've probably read this somewhere else already but....

One night a guy and a girl were driving home from the movies. The boy sensed there was something wrong because of the painful silence they shared between them that night. The girl then asked the boy to pull over because she wanted to talk. She told him that her feelings had changed, and that it was time to move on. A silent tear slid down his cheek as he slowly reached into his pocket and passed her a folded note. At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street. He swerved right into the drivers seat, killing the boy. Miraculously, the girl survived. Remembering the note, she pulled it out and read it. "Without your love, I would die.

"PUT THIS IN YOUR JOURNAL IF YOU CARE ABOUT SOMEONE SO MUCH THAT YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THEM. (even your best friends)

Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com

- n|x - was loved at 8:25 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Monday, June 27, 2005


Chocnut.
Im in love...yet again.

inAs I was perfecting the art of staring into space, my deep conversation with myself was interrupted by (what seemed like) heavenly music. It was playing on the radio (on 93.1 I think), and a millisecond of emotion-detaining after, I lunge forward and instantaneously went straight for the component's volume knob-thingy.

"Brighter Than Sunshine"

I never understood before
I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore
What a feeling

Tied up in ancient history
I didnt believe in destiny
I look up you're standing next to me
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
Brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, i don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
And it's brighter than sunshine

I never saw it happening
I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again
What a feeling

I didn't have the strength to fight
Suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you
What a feeling


Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand and you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

I got a feeling in my soul ...


I've heard this song a couple times before already. In fact, a few weeks/months back, I made it part of my list of songs-to-be-played-on-my-wake the first time I saw the video.

Matt Hales, the guy who composed the song, explained it this way: someone’s fallen in love, and they’re taken unaware by it, that they don’t expect it, that they weren’t looking for it; but suddenly it’s happened, and it’s amazing and they can’t believe it...

Haay. I love it. =D

---------------------------------------

Imagine this:
Youre sitting on the passenger seat, with your car window open. You position your legs in a way where your circulation will be cut off just because you enjoy the tingling feeling of the blood being stifled. You look out the window as your car passes by the vast horizon of fields and trees, of cars and cement, of smog and sea breeze. You catch a bunch of men, in tattered clothing, staring at you while snickering because of only-God-knows-what. Your driver turns the radio on, and before you can even protest, he pushes the button that goes "Ting! Ting!" until it reaches the frequency of that radio station you once loathed. You go back to staring at the perfectly-polluted highway and your mind starts drifting into the more serious things in life. You feel your heart tighten, and tighten, and tighten even more, until you end up feeling nauseated because of the "minor heart attack" you just went through. You feel stupid as your eyes start to swell and a tear finally reaches its landing point, that is your blouse. You sniff, pretending you still had a cold, and think "I cant freaking cry here!" as Rivermaya's song continues to play in the background. Inside your head, the words "stupid, regret, disbelief, cardinal, mud, freak, trust, friends, gluons, Maslow, pills, chapel..." jumble round and round, as if they were numbers inside that Lotto-drawer-thing. They made you want to wish that you hit the jackpot, but alas, you are snapped back to reality by that deafening horn of the Elf truck that your car was following. You are so annoyed. Annoyed by the horn, the smog, your messed-up hair, the driver's taste of music, the snickering of the men, the unlawful distribution of wealth in the world, the homework your CL teacher gave you, the betrayal, the feeler friend, the bulge in your stomach, the corrupt politicians, the quizzes tomorrow...and the list goes on.

But then, just when you were about to jump off the car that was running at 70 mph and amidst all the traffic and negativity that has slapped you in the face, a small little girl standing by the sidewalk catches your eye. The traffic light turns red, and you find yourself a meter away from the girl, wearing slippers with her school uniform and holding a shabby backpack. You stare at her for a few seconds, and what happens next stuns you. Her fragile face starts painting a masterpiece. She smiles. And says, "Hi Ate!"
And you smile back.

As the light finally turned green, you see a younger boy (probably the girl's brother) rush to her side. He laughs a laugh that youve never heard before, and shouts "Hi Miss Ganda!"

You then feel all the bitterness and irritation start slipping away. The jumbled words in your head managed to find their way back to the left (or is it right?) side of the brain. Your heart feels a sudden jolt and you feel as if you were revived from the dead.

That was all those strangers offered, and it seemed to have made you live again.
Not just because of that simple compliment that little boy gave you.
Not just because of the green light.
Not just because of those few moments when you stared into another being's soul.

A smile.
That was all it took.

Wala lang. Imagine nyo lang. =)

--------------------------------

Jow's coming tomorrow! Woohoo! Can't wait!
Something to finally smile about! Hehe.

See ya Jow! :D

---------------------------------

Oh my goodness.
President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo admitted that it was, in fact, her voice that was recorded in the Gloriagates tape. =O
What is happening to our country?

Lord help us.

Oh, btw. Anyone who has that "Hello Garci" ringtone? Send me one! Lol.

-------------------------------

Im off to study for our Math and Science quizzes tomorrow.
I also have to start on my CL essay again. (Tinanong pa kasi ni Kryon at Hugh kung gaano dapat kahaba. Dapat daw back-to-back pa ng 1 whole. Patalo. Haha.)

Oh, and sorry if Ive been anything but conscious about my Subject-Verb Agreements and Prounoun-Antecedent, uh, Agreements. (Lagot ako kay Ms Castanos, Lol.) I really dont re-read or edit whatever I type here. I just let my fingers type away, so whatever you see here is just a product of my, well, temporary madness. Okie? =D

[-i will love you till they take my heart away-] (I love this song too!)
Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com

- n|x - was loved at 6:18 PM
[link to post] [2 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Sunday, June 26, 2005


Ouchies.
Quote of the Day
‘Everyday I can hear the rockets fly
Over the graves of too many who have died
Fighting for land, or some ancient holy shrine
I bet your blood runs red, just the same as mine, yeah

How many more of our children have to fall
Just how high do we have to build these walls
In fighting there's no dignity
It's such a waste of time
Take my hand, I don't think God will mind.’
-Love, by Great Big Sea
--------------------------------------
I have 3 new fresh wounds/scars.

I have one in my left wrist (not the suicidal kind of slashing), one on my right leg, and another on my left.

I dont know how the hell they got there. I have no idea where they came from. I had no intentions of causing myself minute pain. Im just weirded out by the fact that a cut just always seem to appear from nowhere. I dont notice them until I feel the throbbing after some time...

...all done unintentionally.

And being the potential diabetic that I am, these scars will take weeks, months, or even years (literally) to heal and finally disappear.

Its weird how the reality of life can be so close to simple skin abrasions and cuts.

Still the bittersweetest thing ever.
------------------------------------
(I promised myself to veer off from melodrama. Argh. But anyway...
Note: Copy-pasted material here. K? No assuming, please.)

Ms. Ai-Ai delas Alas (?) was right.

"Dont judge a book if you're not a judge."

It got me laughing for minutes the moment I heard that, but if you think about it, its something we can actually extract some truth from.

Ive been judged and criticized my whole life. Im not really used to being backstabbed or from hearing snide comments, coz if there's one thing on my list that I'd never erase, it's that to stay away from anything that can hurt other people. Di bale nang ako, wag lang sila. (drama noh?)

But there are times when the people you thought would stick with you, who'd believe in you, who'd trust you, who'd stand by you (you get the picture...), run off to the other side of the fence and leave you with a cruel, judging stare.

A stare that sometimes cuts right through you.
And all you can do is look away, not because of guilt or shame, but because of melancholy for thinking they'd be there for you, no matter what.

...turns out you were wrong.
--------------------------------------
Track pics! (from Kirk's multiply)

Um, we may not have exactly looked picture perfect then, but nonetheless, those few hours of jogging, sprinting, and throwing were a lot of fun! ;)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
(before the practice/try-outs)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
(see my bwother? the track baby! haha)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
(mga gusto nang umuwi, hehe)
--------------------------------
Its my Dad's birthday today. He also had his other office blessed, so its like a double celebration.

It's always nice to have the whole clan come together for a special occasion. Even though our sheets got messed up, our PS2 and PC worked overtime, our air-conditioners were all on High, and our kitchen almost turned into a warzone, having the people with the same blood as yours never fails to make one feel loved.

And even though I printed "Happy Birthday" on short bond papers, I downloaded that rock version of the Happy Birthday song, I sanng with everyone else before we cut the cake...

I still havent actually greeted my Dad yet.

No hugs. No kisses. No ILoveYous. No nothing.

My Dad's a lawyer, and he makes an excellent PRO. He can talk to anyone. From the Big-Time City Mayor down to the simple gasoline boy.

But, in the 17 years of my life, I have no memory whatsoever of the two of us talking. Actually talking. An actual conversation. The type of conversation the Cohens have. One that is at par with Oprah's episodes. One that can pass as a scene for a telenovela.

Its weird how my relationship with my Dad works. But despite all the weirdness and unconventional behavior between us and my whole family, the Big Guy up there knows the real score.

Happy Birthday Daddy! =)

- n|x - was loved at 6:04 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Saturday, June 25, 2005


In The Shadows
In The Shadows

There really is something about the stillness and tranquility of the night that makes one want to stare at the dark sky for hours and just think. There's something in the way the cold air caresses your face that makes one feel a touch of the serenity that he's long been wishing for. There's something about the absence of the scorching sun that makes one feel safe and protected, free from all harm and hurt. There's something about nighttime that pushes one to close his tired eyes and picture all the things that has happened on the hours that have passed.

Not everything is as peaceful and passive as the depth of the night. Not everything will be as secured and free from harm's way. Not everything will be far away from all the hustle and bustle that our small world brings about.
Sometime's its the other things that make you want to close your eyes and turn away from the reality that is your life.

Of the 24 hours we spend living every day, we use up an average of one-third of our time dozing off unto the world we always dream to be in. This is the only time where we can escape from the harsh actuality of the day that has just passed. This is the only time where we can be willingly unconscious of the realm we reside in and readily let our subconscious mind take us away.

It is a fact that humans dream all the time. One may not always remember or commit to his memory the dreams that he has had, but it is a verity that our minds are still on the go even though we're fast asleep.

It is in those few hours of dreaming that we let our inner selves delve into the unknown. It is in those few hours that we let our souls break away from our bodies and let them roam the grounds of our lives. And it is in those few hours that we wish our dreams were made into a big, fat, grand, whopping reality. A reality that we are too afraid of, too sick of, too tired of, too annoyed at, and too furious at. Yet all still remain too in love with life to even give up on it.

As the night passes us by, someone out there may be dying, crying, rejoicing, fantasizing, living, fighting, screaming, or praying. We will probably never understand why or how we are conscious of our own selves and not have the ability to decipher another soul's existence. We may never have an idea how we are able to control our own machines and let the ghost inside it free every time we are dead to the world. But if there's one thing we can and may know, it is that at the end of the day, we are given 50/50 chance or so of living again. The uncertainty of the night may cause us anticipation and thrill, curiosity and exasperation, eagerness and hope, but as we fall asleep tonight, know that as the sun shines tomorrow and as you open your eyes once again, you are given another chance to take on the beautiful reality that was given you.

So make the most out of it.

[-im a lover of life-]

Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com

- n|x - was loved at 10:24 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Thursday, June 23, 2005


On Track
Still On Track

I cant believe I actually tried out for Track (& Field) today.
And what's even more amazing is the fact that Niño (my grade 4 brother) was there with me the whole time. Not only was he there, he was even running/sprinting/sweating/panting alongside me.

Almost all the girls who tried out with me adored him. (Mana sa ate eh! haha)
Imagine a grade schooler, running alongside fast, high school boys (like Kyle and Kirk).
And take note, after the practice was over, he told me that he wasnt that tired yet.
Talo pako. Hehe.

This boy has drive.
And he's cute too.
No wonder certain batchmates of his have a crush on my little brother.
But sorry girls, Im still his number 1 fan.

I am the proudest Ate ever. ;)

------------------------------------

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

This pic was taken last July 7 2004, 04:03 pm at gate 5.

I remember laughing my ass off when we were trying to get past the grouchy guard at the gate.
Our other kabarkadas, being inexperienced gate-5-goers, didnt put their acting skills to use when the guard stopped us from exiting the gate.
When Danielle, Jo, and I got to finally go outside the gate, Danielle shouted:

"You're supposed to L-I-E!!"

...right in front of the guard.

Lol.

Jooow! Punta ka na dito! =P

---------------------------------

Belated Happy Birthday Ces Domingo! (June 21)
Miss ya! <3>

Belated Happy Birthday Flubby! (Crisman Armenta = Sir Flubert look-alike. lol) (June 22)

-------------------------------
Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com

- n|x - was loved at 8:16 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Tuesday, June 21, 2005


moving on.
This was my entry last April 18.

It's amazing how you can feel two contrasting emotions at the same time. It probably can be compared to those feelings you get whenever you eat a slice of chocolate cake. You indulge in the luscious taste of every bit of the cake, but with every bite, you feel this awful guilt...coz you know it aint good for you.


When someone told me, "Be careful what you wish for...you just might actually get it," I should've listened. What freakin' sucks more, it that fact that that "someone" was...me.

No one believes in it...and I dont blame them for being non-believers.It's pretty understandable why they doubt something this...deviant...weird...complicated.
Even I still dont get why this is all happening. Why the hell would things suddenly go my way?At this rate, it seems like my fairy godmother is on a roll. Her magical wand must be exhausted from granting all my wishes. Some were even magically granted...without me wishing for them.If I were Cinderella, I'd be gloriously dancing around with my glass slippers, celebrating. But the problem is this...

"Alam mo ang problema mo kung ano?"
"...ano?"
"Takot kang maging masaya..."

That hit me hard. Real hard.
Coz he was probably right.

Some people enjoy being at the top. They enjoy the view and relish every moment while the wind kisses their faces.
Other people opt to close their eyes, with their hearts pounding like crazy, as overwhelming fear swallows them whole. They say when you're at the top, you've got nowhere else to go but down.I'm not saying that I'm already at the TOP TOP TOP...but like what a friend of mine shared with me before...

"Alam mo yun, yung parang...lahat na lang ng bagay sa buhay mo nagiging tama...Puro na lang maganda nangyayari sayo..."
"...di ba dapat masaya ka nga?"
"Di ko nga alam eh...Natatakot kasi ako. Coz after all those great things that happened to me...you just know something bad is bound to happen..."

----------------------------------

Well...I was right. =O

(And it wasnt just about that. One by one, they piled up until I reached the ledge and almost fell. Waah.)

---------------------------------

Ive had a couple of nightmares, endless heartpounding moments, a number of im-on-the-verge-of-crying scenarios

BUT...

things are getting better (I hope)
Im coping
Im learning
Im thankful
Im appreciative
Im better
Im bolder
Im braver (kind of)
Im wiser
Im sorry
Im relieved
Im hoping
and still praying. :)

-----------------------------------

"I place my life in the hands of God." - Jaime Cardinal Sin
Lets pray for the soul of our dear Cardinal.
I got to meet him and make "mano" once, and from that experience, my life was definitely touched.
We've gained another guardian guys. :)

----------------------------------

Pangako
by Side A

Ngayon, tulad ng kahapon
Unti-unting lumilipas ang panahon
Bakit, tanong sa aking isip
Hanggang kailan ang pagtitiis

Ika'y nalayo
Lumayo na wala sa piling ko
Ngunit...

'Di magbabago ang aking puso
Hanggang ngayon, bukas, ito ay pangako
Pag-ibig ko sa 'yo'y walang hanggang

Noon kaysaya natin
Ikot ng mundo'y hindi napapansin
Bakit kailangan pang mangyari
Damdamin ko sa 'yo'y nilimot mo

Maghihintay sa 'yong pagbabalik
Bukas ang aking puso
Ang nakaraa'y nilimot ko na
(Ngayon, tulad ng kahapon)
Pag-ibig ko sa 'yo'y walang hanggang
(Ito ay pangako)

Note: Though its such a nice love song, this isnt, in any way, related to my sentiments at present. I just loved the version I heard on tv the second I absorbed the lyrics and melody.

Oh, and by the way, I have vowed to never again write about anything TOO personal, TOO vague, or TOO uh, scandalous. (I might be eating my words in a few days, weeks, or months, but hey, at least Im gravely trying.) :D

-------------------------------------

Hmm.
Maybe I should think of writing a "disclaimer" on this thing.
Hmm.

Its such a privelege and a burden to be given this tool to "think out loud."
Hehe.
Id have to stop calling this my "blog" and start calling it an "online journal"

Repeat after me...

Onn...line...jour...nal.

Wala lang.
For a change. A big one, at that. :)
-----------------------------------------

Kwento lang:)

My cousins (Ate Joy, Baby, Jessa, Kuya Larry, Jayson, Janno) and I were passing by this big house with really big dogs by the gate a few years back. "Magkapit-bisig" yung girls, and the boys were all acting like our bodyguards since we were all scared of the big, black, growling, dogs.

Kuya Larry, being the natural joker that he was, started chanting a phrase that Id never ever forget...

"Love...and Peace. Love...and Peace. Love...and Peace."
(Imagine that on a 3/4 scale. Haha)

"Love..." (Put your hands together to form a heart and position it near your chest)
"...and Peace." (Make the peace sign with your right hand and smile)

He said that this "chant" was supposed to make the dogs realize that youre their friend, and that you wish for love and peace to reign in the world. Lol.

True enough, we got through the big dogs unscathed.
And ever since then, Ive performed that chant whenever I was faced with enormous, bigger-than-life, hungry, dawgs. =P

LOVE AND PEACE.

Try it. It worked for me. :)
Hehe.

- n|x - was loved at 9:12 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Saturday, June 18, 2005


Omg.
OH NO.

I have to keep in mind that whatever I write here can be read by anyone, anytime, anywhere. Last night, I was stupid enough to forget that.

I have to stop ranting and raving here coz more often than not, our outburst of emotion gets the best of us. Last night, I was brainless enough to overlook that.

I have to stop not-naming names coz it seems that its even worse than actually including real people in your journals. Last night, I was imprudent enough to forget that people do think and assume.

I have to stop thinking that I can always help and reprimand people I care for coz I always end up on the wrong, risky, ledge. Last night, I was too overwhelmed to even think that.

I have to put my head back where its supposed to be coz others may misunderstand and it would have to be my fault. Last night, I was too confused and sick to even remember to put my cap back on.

-------------------------------------------------

Im sorry if my entry was too vague and and unclear.
Im sorry if I ended up hurting your feelings.
Im sorry for being stupid.
Im just really really really really sorry.

I really was talking about someone else.
I thought that being vague was the way to go, but obviously, that got me in trouble that I didnt even realize I was in.
I didnt want her (my cousin, the person I was really pertaining to) to know how I was madly concerned for her and for her family, but I didnt think it would be at the expense of unintentionally hurting another good friend.
This is one mix-up Id never want to happen again.
From now on, I dare not bellow my infuriating emotions here.

I do think and know that you are smart enough to overcome that.
I do think and know that you care about yourself and your friends as well.
I do think and know that youre a great person and you deserve everything that you have right now.

I actually didnt think of it in any other way. I only realized that it wasnt only germane to the actual person I was talking to when someone texted me and told me about it.
It was stupid of me, I know.

Im just really sorry. I really didnt mean to hurt anyone. Especially you.=O
(Ill try to explain once we get to talk. Hope youre not mad. =O waaah.)


-----------------------------------------

I just really had to let it out last night coz I got to talk to her (my cousin's) boyfriend the other day. That got me all upset coz I found out that she was lying to her friends and family the whole time. She often reads my blog too, so I didnt opt to include her name and chose to refer to her as just a "friend."

Im really glad to know that youve changed already, and I admire you for that.
Thats just what I really want to happen to my cousin, and I now plan to do that without the use of writing it down for the whole world to read.

For now, Id just hanker after her understanding and your forgiveness. =O

-----------------------------------------
Waaah.

My parents are off to my cousin's wedding. Di ako makakasama!
(Double) waaah.
Im still sick, and it seems like Im not getting better.
Add to that the trouble I got into, I can see the need for more Paracetamol, air-conditioning, citrus fruits, and prayers.

------------------------------------------
On a lighter note...

Tomorrow is Rizal's birthday.
And Father's Day (tama ba?)

Belated Happy Birthday to my brother, Deni!
Happy Father's Day to all your Dads! :)

Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com

- n|x - was loved at 12:50 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Wednesday, June 15, 2005


Of weddings and wounds.
"Nikki..."

Alt + Tab!!

My heart pounds 10000 times faster but I still managed to utter, "Yes?"
A few requests and kwentos later, my Mom left my room.

*Whew*

That was a close call. I wouldn't want my ever-so-inquisitive mother to see me browsing through websites with (no, not those "barenaked" uh, beings but) those seemingly-perfect happy-looking women all dressed in white with a bouquet in their hands and a handsome gentleman by their backs.

For some reason, the whole "wedding" thing has been popping right in front of my face the whole day.

--------------------------------------------------

During recess, amidst all the Rice Dogg-eating and experiment paper-writing, a friend of mine suddenly stood up, tapped me as a sign that she's leaving, and rushed to the arms of his awaiting knight (also known as her soon-to-be boyfriend). My other friends and I then started talking about how she had been changed from the girl who never thought of "love" (the mushy, sweetie, ill-die-for-you kind) as an actual emotion that humans are capable of to someone who has already exchanged the dreaded "I Love Yous" with the guy who finally dealt with his katorpehan and won her over. Our barkada is actually subdivided into several categories: the cynics, the hopelessly romantics, and the been-there-done-that (or the taken ones). Through our discussion, which involved the boys of our past, present and the (gulp) near future, we pondered on the things that could and would actually happen a few years from now. We figured that the former cynics and boy-haters would be the ones to end up getting married right after college. We figured that the more choosy and conservative ones would end up dumping a minimum of a dozen guys before they even say "I Do." We figured that maybe, just maybe, fate would play its game on us and twist all our lovelives into intangible pang-telenovela stories.


---------------------------------------------------

Our class practically hates our adviser. She's like the ultimate queen of PMS-ing. I've never seen her smile. I've never heard her laugh. I even had this theory that maybe the reason behind her taray slash "i dont care about you" look was botox injections or something. I can't imagine how someone can be so hostile and uncaring. Even though she gave me a compliment ("Ang ganda naman ng handwriting mo." Lol), I still cant figure out why she seems to just dislike everything and everyone she faces.

Then, just as I was discreetly whispering, "What's her problem?" someone replies from behind:

"Baka di nakapagasawa"

-------------------------------------------------

Danielle: "What if someone exceedingly reliable tells you that youre going to die tomorrow, what will you do?"
Me: "Marry."

Wth. It just came out.

Me: "Haha. No, no. Um, I dont really know. I guess Id hug all the people I love and tell them how I feel. Mag-"I Love You" sa lahat ng taong mahal ko."

-----------------------------------------------

Busmates (singing):
"Tan-tan-tanan. Tan-tan-tanan..."
"Wait wait! Sinong pwedeng bride?"
"Um, si Ate Nikki na lang!"

-----------------------------------------------

My Mom handed me my cousin's wedding invitation. She and her boyfriend of 8 years are going to tie the knot on Saturday. I checked out their wedding's site, and got intrigued by the whole concept of the sacrament. Before I knew it, I was checking other sites for wedding gowns, bouqets, Churches, motifs, invitations and everything else.

Hey, a friend told me once that we daydream (er, if I remember right) 70% of the time were awake. I was just using up that percentage on something Id one day want to go through.

(I cant believe I just typed that. Omg.)

- n|x - was loved at 9:24 PM
[link to post] [3 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Monday, June 13, 2005


stress-relievers.

got this from [maica]

Things you enjoy, even when no one around you wants to go out and play. What lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level? Make a list, post it to your journal... and then tag 5 friends and ask them to post it to theirs.

1. Staying in my room, staring at the ceiling (which I can only do when Im at the edge of my mattress because of, like my cousin put it, my bed’s 2nd floor) with raindrops in the background, while brooding over the meaning of life (and everything else).


2. Reading my friends’ and other people’s online journals. Reading articles from Peyups.com.


3. Being massaged or tickled. Taking a long shower. Swaying in our duyan under the trees with the wind in my face.


4. Eating! Sweets. Fruits. Spicy food.


5. Writing poetry. Writing an entry here or in my diary. Doodling. Drawing. Scribbling.


6. The color green. Or white. Landscapes. Gardens. Bodies of Water. The sky. The sky at night. Stars. Flowers.


7. Playing the piano. Listening to someone play the guitar. Hearing someone sing.


8. Listening to songs of yesteryears AND singing to them (which causes stress to other people, hehe).


9. Receiving quotes, text messages, offline messages, friend requests, etc. (haha)


10. Getting lots and lots of sleep. Having dreams (not the scary, weird ones but the fantasy-filled, close-to-reality, magical ones)

passing it on to
-anyone ;)


- n|x - was loved at 5:18 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~



Space.

You really do learn things in school.

"What happens to water when it freezes?"

I always thought that all compounds are denser when theyre in their solid state than when in their liquid form.
But it was only Sir Ezrels first portfolio homework that made me realize the pseudo-analysis Ive long believed wasnt true for every instance. The answer was staring me right in the face since forever (ice floats on water, thus its less dense. duh) but I was too lost in the notion Ive always deemed.

No, I will not go on talking about our first science experiment.
I was just intrigued by how I corrected myself.
By how I had the answer to something all the while, but failed to actually see it.

I remember my brother asking me, "Ate, how big is the universe?"
All I could answer was, "Sobrang laki. Its larger than life. It goes on infinitely. Basta...ganon."
Lol.

I mean, my unused stock knowledge tells me that we can never really get "outside" space because your path will just always curve around and so it leads you back to where you started.
Thats its nature. It curves around on itself, so just as it is possible to fly around the earth indefinitely without leaving it, you could also travel out in space for as long as you wished - but NEVER outside it.

Hmm
That explanation sure sounds familiar to me.
Im sure we all have things weve all tried to run over, but still end up falling flat on our behinds no matter how far we try to run.
Weve all tried to conquer something at one time or another, yet fail to actually reach the top coz you eventually lost your grip.
Whether it be that conduct grade youve been trying to change to that whopping-ly astounding A, or that girl you've been pursuing AND trying to get over for the past few months, they all still count as the things youve always tried to perfect, but ended up spoiling anyway.
You try to step outside the circle, but end up inside anyway, no matter how hard you try. But should that really stop you from trying? The cycle may go on forever and that probably makes you think you'll never escape it. *Sigh*


Outer space may go on infinitely till eternity, but I sure hope I can deal with my own unending loop of misfortunes and fortuity.

I hope you do too…

-------------------------------------------

Pag-ibig Ko Sa'yo (by Moonstar 88)

Bakit ganito ang pakiramdam
Umiibig na nga ba ako sayo
Kahit alam ko iba na ang mahal mo
Umaasa pa rin ako sayo

Pag-ibig ko sayo’y hindi magbabago
Buhay kong ito’y ibibigay sa’yo
Kahit siya ang nasa isip mo

Di mo ba nakita ang mga ginagawa
Lahat ito ay para lang sayo
Di mo ba pansin ang aking damdamin
Mahirap ba itong intindihin

Sayo ako’y maghihintay
Hinding hindi magsasawa
Lagi akong magmamahal…sayo…

--------------------------------

Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com

-[-I mesmerized you for all the wrong reasons-]


- n|x - was loved at 4:14 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Sunday, June 12, 2005


survey.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com

[A Survey]
got this from channe


Three Names I Go By
1. nikki
2. nix
3. monique? nixter? dominique? kikay? haha.

Three Screen Names You Have Had
1. sUp3rgUrL
2. supergurl_nix18
3. lois lane (lol)

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my kind of "beauty" (im not mestiza/chinita. im "exotic" daw. wtf.lol)
2. my discipline. no vices. (nax!)
3. my rare ability to just "understand" and not get mad, no matter what happens

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my rare ability to just "understand" and not get mad, no matter what happens
2. Apathy/Laziness
3. sucky memory + inability to even deliver a joke or kwento

Three Parts of Your Heritage
1. Filipino
2. Spanish
3. Venezuelan/Puerto Rican/Portuguese

Three Things That Scare You
1. death/loss/hurt
2. the dark + mumu!
3. thunder & lightning. :/

Three of Your Everyday Essentials (aside from the obvious):
1. lip balm
2. earrings (i feel naked without 'em!)
3. cellphone + my "online journal" + my diary :)

Three of Your Favorite Bands / Musical Artists
1. alicia keys
2. eraserheads tied with rivermaya AND hale AND sponge cola AND keane :D
3. kitchie nadal

Three of Your Favorite Songs
1. with a smile - eraserheads
2. kailan - mymp / same ground - kitchie nadal
3. crazy for you - sponge cola

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. to commute!
2. to DRIVE!
3. to play the guitar

Three Things You Want In a Relationship
1. HONESTY
2. laughs...lots and lots of it. :)
3. contentment & security & loyalty

Two Truths And a Lie
1. i love Moniegold chewy tamarind candy more than i do chocnut
2. i know how to play the piano
3. i can (do a) cartwheel and split

Three Physical Things About the Opposite Sex That Appeal to You
1. eyes
2. smile
3. hair + built + voice

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO (in front of people):
1. do stand-up comedy
2. puke (lol)
3. dance "spaghetti" or "ocho ocho"

Three of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. writing
2. singing? hehe.
3. um, dancing.

THREE CRUSHES (past and present):
1. Yeah..
2. Nice..
3. try...

Three Things You Want to Do Badly Right Now
1. take a shower (its so hot!)
2. eat a slice of blueberry cheesecake
3. dance! (lose mass! haha.)

Three Careers You're Considering
1. advertising
2. business
3. uh, accounting?

Three Places You Want To Go On Vacation
1. hawaii
2. africa
3. the ruins of machu picchu

Three Kid's Names You Like
1. nicole
2. sophia/pia/cheska
3. ryan or lee or nathan

Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die
1. have my own book published
2. be someone's miracle :)
3. meet oprah or the Pope

Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically a Girl
1. I fancy hunky, gorgeous, long-haired, chinky-eyed guys (lol)
2. I cry at movies and im occasionally mushy. =P
3. I'm vain.

Three Celeb Crushes
1. Tom Welling *drools*
2. Chad Murray *drools*
3. Brent Javier *drools* lol.

--------------------------------------------------

I had my hair cut. =O I look "nene" again. And the curls are gone. Whoops. Owel.

--------------------------------------------------

Happy Independence Day! I still <3>

Happy Birthday Carl! ;)

------------------------------------------------

[-im missing you and me-]

Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com


- n|x - was loved at 8:52 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Friday, June 10, 2005


Last first week of my high school life.
Last first week of my high school life.

That week sure was fast. But it seemed as if nothing really changed except for a couple of things: -like the fact that I'm still not used to seeing black pants with my batchmates "in" them
-I'm missing my old classmates
-I've had sensible conversations with people I've never even said "hi" to before,
-I'm a S-E-N-I-O-R now,
-dismissal time on Mondays and Fridays is 4:30!
-my allowance was raised
-I bought food from the canteen ONCE this week
-our barkada's actually eating and bonding with one another again
-I rarely text or call using my phone
-I've gained the willpower not to go online
-I'm confident and contented now more than ever. ;)

--------------------------------------

New layout!
Summer's over, so I got rid of the beach-y theme.
The girl on the left has curly hair. Hehe.
Girls who see my messed-up hair have been wanting curls too.
Tip: After conditioning your hair, let it dry. Then before you go to sleep, tie it in a bun. Your natural curls/waves will come out great in the morning. ;)

---------------------------------

Most frequently asked questions of the week:

"Ano section mo?"
"Adviser nyo? "
"Musta?"
"Teacher nyo?"
"Sino boylet mo ngayon?"
"Anong ginawa mo?"
"Nagusap na ba kayo?"
"Musta na kayo ni _________?"
Lol.

-------------------------------

What is up with the "Circle Wars" pare? Lol.
Why the heck did they exclude circle 96 from the meeting?
Mga walang utang na loob..tsk tsk. Iba na to! Haha.

It was nice to see all the circles of the batch together in one place.
Even though we weren't all exactly "united", we were still all there.
And despite the snide comments, playful bickering, and hilarious teasing, I still enjoyed those minutes I spent with my circlemates and the whole SI family.

It started getting kinda scary when Ms. Padua went upstairs and started jotting down names in her notebook.
This is one instance where I wish the "ATTP" didn't know my name.
Besides, I was just there laughing with everyone else.
We were all just having fun. :D FUN!

-------------------------------

Have you seen the "Intensity" commercial?
Intensity's this cologne for men I think.
The guy in that commercial's the beatboxer (?) of the Acafellas.
CHECK OUT HIS BOD! hottt tsong! bwahaha.

----------------------------
I've been having dreams for the past 5 days, and that rarely happens.
But you know what's even weirder?
My dreams always had it in them. =O

Hmmm...
What could that mean?
Maybe I just miss it.
Or something. =/

--------------------------

I LOVE OUR NEW PRIEST!
"Kuya Joey" (was that his name?) and his amusing antics were side-splitting. It made that hour-or-so of mine less distressing. I love how he knows all the local commercials, the corniest jokes, and even the funniest ways to distort his face. I think he even looks like a cross-breed between Sir Fabian and Boy Abunda. Haha.
His witticism was all our batch ever needed for us to actually listen to the homily. Coolness. :)

- n|x - was loved at 9:39 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Thursday, June 09, 2005


pix

Pix from Awie's multiply! :)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Circle 96 the best! (the WHOLE circle, with Bea!) =P

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

teh beeyouutiful girls of 96! =P

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

JC outreach

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

by the bay. (I borrowed someone's cap, hehe) sino yang putol sa right?

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

(not my best pic but...) moi, danielle, jana. haha. ;)


- n|x - was loved at 7:32 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~



Hot?
Most Beautiful

Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com

Are they hot or are they hot?

- n|x - was loved at 6:11 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Wednesday, June 08, 2005


Bakit Napapagod Ang Puso?

Tembtation : Bakit Napapagod Ang Puso?

By tembarom

From peyups.com (I highly recommend this site. I made a vow that one day, I'd have my own articles posted on it, hehe)

---------------------------

Sa mga nakalipas na buwan, ilang mga malalapit na mga kaibigang magkasintahan na rin ang narinig kong naghiwalay o nasa bingit ng paghihiwalay. Ang ipinagtataka ko, ang mga nagrereklamo ng pagkabagot o pagkawala ng kasiyahan sa kanilang ugnayan ay mga babae. Naisip ko tuloy, sa isang relasyon, dumarating ba ang panahon na kaming mga lalaki ay nagiging boring at nakakasawa?


Noong bago pa lang kami ng girlfriend ko, napag-usapan namin ang posibilidad ng pagdating ng panahong magmamaliw ang romance. ‘Yun bang tipong kung dati ay matae-tae ako sa paghihintay ng tawag niya, sa bandang huli’y magiging normal at bahagi na lang routine ang phone conversations. O ‘yung dating sipag at siguro’y excitement niyang kantahan ako ay mababawasan din.


May ifinorward pa nga siyang essay sa akin na isinulat ng isang ginang na nagbago na ng damdamin sa kanyang asawa. Sentimental ang babaeng nagsulat. Lagi raw siyang nag-i-expect ng mga romantic moments. Kabaligtaran naman daw ang kanyang asawa. Dahil nga sa pagkawala ng kilig, nais na iya itong i-diborsyo. Siyempre’y nagulat ang lalaki. Tinanong siya ng ng babae:

"Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?"


Madamdamin ang sagot ng lalaki. Hindi raw niya pipitasin ang bulaklak. Ito ang ilan sa mga dahilang binaggit niya:


“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs...


“You always have the cramps whenever your ‘good friend’ approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.


“You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.”


Na-touch naman ang babae at na-realize niyang sa kabila ng pakiramdam niya’y pagiging insensitibo ng asawa niya, sa kaloob-looban naman ay mahal na mahal siya ng lalaking pinakasalan niya.


Naalala ko tuloy 'yung isang text message: “Just because I don’t love you the way you want me to doesn’t mean I don’t love you” or something to that effect. Para bang ‘di man ako mag-text o tumawag maya’t maya, di naman ibig sabihin noon na hindi kita iniisip 99% ng panahon na gising ako. Bolero ba? Siyempre, hindi ko naman tinotolerate ang pagiging bolero o babaero ng mga kabaro ko. Kapag ganyan na ang usapin, ibang usapan na ’yan.


Pero paano nga ba maiiwasan ang pagkapagod ng puso, maliban sa pagsisikap na manatiling buhay ang romance? Naniniwala akong may mga mas matitibay na bagay na dapat gawing bahagi ng isang relasyon. Siyempre, given na ang pagmamahal. Unang-una ‘yan. Idagdag pa ang maraming cliché:


Honesty. Sabi nga ng isang kasabihan, ang pagsasabi ng tapat, ay pagsasamang maluwat. Pero totoo. Kung sa simula pa lang ay ilalatag na natin sa ating kapareha ang ating kaluluwa, maiiwasan ang ibang di pagkaka-unawaan. And speaking of di-pagkakaunawaan, dapat talaga may unawaan at bigayan. Sabi nga ni Bob Garon, “Healthy lovers enjoy giving as much as they do in receiving… Healthy lovers don’t try to change or control the beloved.” 'Di rin dapat mawala ang pagtitiwala. At siyempre, dapat ay ang Panginoon ang laging nasa gitna ng dalawa.
Hindi ko kung ano ang mga eksaktong nangyari, pero may hinala akong may nakaligtaang alinman sa mga iyan ang mga kaibigan kong magkasintahan kaya ng ilan sa kanila'y napagod.


- n|x - was loved at 9:48 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Tuesday, June 07, 2005


2nd day funk.
Second day funk.
Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com

I've managed to surprise myself once again.

After two days of being part of a new class, I can now declare myself as a non-loner. Yay! haha.

My classmates are nice. Too nice even. Our class is probably the quiet-est among all the Senior sections. Ms. Padua walked by our corridor the other day and even said "kaya nga kayo ang model class eh!" Haha.
The guys in our class seemed to have been handpicked from a garden of sssshhland. Some of them opt to just fold their arms and sleep on their desks when there's no teacher around or when they simply dont have anything to say (Kryon, JV, and Alvin are exceptions of course). The girls, on the other hand, are noisier, but still not as loud as I expected (which made me miss the Machas of our former class who make chichis and comments for the whole room to hear, hehe).

---------------------------------------

SRCC Orientation today. I'm super proud of Abet, Julie, Mariel, Mik, Maica, Lorenzo, Carl, Jan and everyone else in the council.

Grabeh. Mga kaibigan ko na yung mga nasa student council, PEP, GAP, Orchestra, varsities, etc. I feel so old. :/

-----------------------------------

I can sort of feel the Seniority thing already. Everyone seems to look up on you.

And I'm still not used to seeing our guys wearing black pants. Whenever I see a pair of black pants from afar, I'd think of the guys from the previous batch. Oh, and I was right. A lot of guys look "kagalang-galang" in their barongs while a few others looked ready to serve lunch. Hihi.

------------------------------------

Circle day today! It's nice to know that circle 96 (the best!) is still intact. I miss those guys.
Fo sho! =))

--------------------------------------
I was surprised when I was nominated for Class President this afternoon.
My name was the first to be written on the chalkboard, coz at first no one suggested names, but then Rica shouted from behind me...

"Si Nikki!"

Then Jian followed...

"Onga, si Nikki!"

Me (while doodling on my "diary"): ?!?!?!

Then I heard a few other people agree with them.

"Edi panalo na yan!"

Of course not. I'm not even expecting to win...really.

When the nominations were being finalized, I heard someone say...

"Si Nikki! Sobrang nice..."
"Onga, Nikki for president..."

Lol.

Those comments made me feel like a newly-appointed officer of the Goodness Department (weh?) already. I dont even need to win the election to feel good about myself. The things I heard and saw were more than enough.

My simple joy fulfilled: to be appreciated. :)

babaw no? =P

---------------------------------

Some things will probably never be brought back, no matter how hard I try. Things really arent like they used to be. But I hope these things will only get better....

--------------------------------

[-Jesus rocks-]
Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com

- n|x - was loved at 7:40 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Sunday, June 05, 2005



In a way, I'm glad that this summer's over. Not that I dislike bumming around the house, watching my favorite shows on tv, eating as if there's no tomorrow, and going places I've never been to. The start of classes also mean that I actually have something to do again and that also means that I can finally do the things I've been too lazy or too "busy" to accomplish. (Did that make sense? Err, my brain's still rusty. Oh no.)

Anyway, I sure hope I get to start my Senior year right. Besides, this is going to be my last year in Zobel. I have to admit that I'm not exactly excited for tomorrow. I've been classmates with the same set of people for the past 7 years, and "first days" haven't been anything I used to worry about. But June 6, 2005 and all the days after that is going to be different, since I am going to be classrooms away from my barkada, I am going to be taught by our former principal, I am going to spend the next few months with people I've never even talked to before...and the list goes on. I just hope I still manage to put a smile on my face while answering "What did you do last summer?" and "Say something about yourself..." tomorrow, and not let that smile go away till graduation.

Oh, and to add to my "Things I'm Anticipating" list, I've got the Intrams, Modern Dance Competition, Cheering Competition (omg), Graduation, and of course my debut to look forward to. (Woohoo)

I wonder how our guys are gonna look with black pants on. Its either they'll look like mature, intellectual, men or gaunt, canteen personnel guys. Hehe. But nonetheless, I'm looking forward to seeing how people changed throughout the summer, how they fattened themselves up, how they now look anorexic, how they grew a few inches taller, how their hairstyles morphed, and how their attitudes improved (hopefully).

Senior year, here I come. :)

- n|x - was loved at 9:23 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Saturday, June 04, 2005


Lucban
My family and I woke up at 4:30 this morning and headed straight to Lucban, Quezon. Yes, that's where they celebrate the colorful Payihas Festival and I think its the town nearest to Mt. Banahaw. And no, we didn't go there for the Pahiyas, since that's long been over anyway. We drove (actually, my Dad did) all the way there for 3 hours to attend a healing mass by Fr. Faller (I hope I got the name right).

We went to this place called "Kamay ni Hesus" and in it was a Church and this beautifully landscaped mountainside (is that what you call it?) wherein you could climb hundreds of steps to reach the top where this giant statue of Jesus was situated.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com

I never thought my Mom would actually decide on celebrating her birthday on something that spiritual. Being the simple person that she is, she said she'd rather go on a roadtrip with her family than have a lot of guests come over our house or some big venue and fatten those unfit adults even more (hehe, kidding). But I didn't think she would want to go to a faraway Church to hear mass from a priest who's been said to have healing powers. (I have great faith in the priest. He's one of those people who makes you feel God's presence...seriously)

There was even this old man, who after attending the Healing Masses twice, testified that his doctors have declared him prostate cancer-free. Still doubtful?

Believe it or not, during the full 2 and a half hours of our travel going there, I could literally feel the whole world spinning around me. I've been experiencing slight fevers and headaches for the past few days, and this morning's headache seemed like the King of all headaches. BUT, as fictional and cliche as this may sound, I really felt like I was healed when Fr. Faller prayed over the hundreds of people who were present this morning. While everyone else was standing up with their hands raised, I remained seated with my Mom's bag in my hand (I needed something to hold on to) with my eyes closed. Whenever I am in deep prayer, I end up crying, and that experience was no exception. I didn't realize that I already had tears in my eyes, and I quickly tried to wipe them away, thinking that those other people surrounding me might think I'm being melodramatic or something. But that thought was far from what I actually saw after opening my eyes for a second. I saw how people had their eyes shut tight, with their arms above their heads as if reaching for God, and with their faith and belief in the Lord's healing power. I closed my eyes again and began feeling this warm mass of air around me, embracing me even. No kidding. I really did feel that. I was then surprised when the priest said something like "Mararamdaman nyo ang tilang init na babalot sainyo o malamig na hanging dadampi sa inyong pisngi...wag kayong matakot, dahil yan ang Panginoong Diyos na yumayakap sayo."

After hearing that, more tears formed in my eyes.

It may sound like something you'd put in your Gospel reflection or something, I know. And it isn't overly dramatic as you think it is. It's just that...

At that very moment, I did feel God with me. And I was so thankful for having experienced that with the people I love the most. :)

-------------------------------------------------

More (out-of-place/vain) pics! hehe. :)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
That statue must have been no less than 50 feet, but look, I managed to take a picture of it with my Mom and brothers in it too. Hihi.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
That's me with my brother, Nino. We must have been halfway up already. See the background? It's prettier in real life (so are the people in the picture, haha, jk!) :D

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
This is me in this restaurant we ate in. It was already past 11 I think when we decided to finally eat Breakfast (so it was more like Brunch already). My brother grabbed my phone, so what else was I to do but...cheese! Haha. Panget. :P

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
This is just me being vain. Haha. =P My parents were buying Longganisang Lucban from this shop called "House of Longganisa" so I was left with my brothers in the car. While they were fighting over my brother's phone, singing to the tune of "First Day Funk" and trying to tickle me, I, on the other hand, managed to be vain and took this picture. Harhar.

---------------------------------------------------------

Oh, and for something even lighter, we passed by countless shops and establishments during our looooong trip. Here are some that caught my attention:

Cass and Carrie
Gintong Talulot
Internet Cafe/Ice Cream Parlor/Watch Repair (all on one stall)
Jonk Shup (in pink paint)
Waku-Waku Bar and Restaurant
Cherilu Grill (hate the spelling!)
Our Lady of Fatima Maahas Chapel
SALE ^po KAMI! (seen on big banners. I guess they were just trying to be polite)
Ultimate Defense Weapon Store
Bee-Jay Parts ("BJ" wouldve been better)
Joe-Mhar Store (isa pa to!)
Jaa Art Motor shop (Huh?)
Soft Pillow Hotel (Whatta name. Oh, and they had "sinampay" on their top floor for everyone to see, lol)
HAHA Fone Card Station (Wala ng maisip na pangalan)
D'vinia's Special Buko
Cymon's Store
Jer-Jeck's Store
NOT 4 HERE

Mga Pinoy talaga oh! Hehe. :D

------------------------------------------

[-real men pray-]

- n|x - was loved at 8:57 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


[ Photos ] [ Anthology ] [ Tagboard ] [ Links ]