Tuesday, May 31, 2005


Taglines.
Update.

7:20pm - My Dad and brother arrives home.

Bro: (hands me my phone) "Ate, sabi ni Daddy, mag-erase ka daw kahit konti ng messages sa inbox mo..."
Me: "#!(^!*%!%!*!^*!!!!..."

Okay. My Dad did read the messages with Sweeties...Mwahs...and *gulps* those other words any girl wouldn't want her father to read.

I can still feel my heart beating. I'm still alive. Whew. :)
Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com
-------------------------------------------------

Funny Taglines
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
Madness takes its toll.
Please have exact change.
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
Dain bramaged.
Reality is for people who lack imagination.
Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.
The worst thing about censorship is .
Paranoia: A healthy understanding of the nature of the universe.
AMAZING BUT TRUE
There is so much sand in Northern Africa, that if we spread it out, it would completely cover the Sahara Desert.
Puns are bad, but poetry is verse.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
Thesaurus: ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary
Heard the one about the dyslexic devil worshiper?He sold his soul to Santa.
(Sign on a bathroom door)"We aim to please, you aim too please"
Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes. <--waha
Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize youhaven't fallen asleep yet.
Okay, okay, I take it back! UnScrew you!
Macho Law forbids me from admitting I'm wrong. <--typical
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep
"Common sense is not so common." -- Voltaire
Of all the people I've met you're certainly one of them. <-weh?
Are you interested in making $$$$ fast? Here's an incrediblysimple way to do it, and there is nothing to buy, no investmentto make, no money to lose! Try it now!
Follow this simple procedure:
1) Hold down the shift key.
2) Hit the 4 key four times.
It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if youmean it is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers.It isn't her's. It isn't our's either. It's ours, andlikewise yours and theirs. -- Oxford University Press, Edpress News
A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
by Mark Twain
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be droppedto be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longerbe part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retainedwould be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take thesame konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with"i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iearwith Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thiridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindzov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wudhev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
---------------------------------------
Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com
- n|x - was loved at 7:19 PM
[link to post] [2 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~



RIP
Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com
-------------------------------------------------
OH MY GAHD.
My life is now officially over.
My Dad couldn't find his cellphone this morning. He couldn't leave the house without it. We all searched from the highest corners to the deepest nooks in the house, but we couldn't find it. I tried calling my Mom using the landline, but whenever she answered the phone, she won't "talk" coz all I heard was the sound of the car in the background. My brother was already late for his Orientation in Phil. Scie. High School (it was supposed to start at 7:15, but he was still here till about 7:00), so I finally tried to call my Mom using my phone to ask her if she knew where my Dad's cellphone was.

Me: "Mommy! Bakit di nyo sinasagot?!"
Mom: "Bakit?"
Me: "Nakita nyo po ba phone ni Daddy dito sa house? Di po sya makaalis ng walang cellphone!"
Mom: "...sabihin mo nasakin..."

Ohhhhkaaay.
They probably had a fight last night or something, coz I woke up in the middle of the night only to find my Mom sleeping beside me.
She ends up in my room whenever she and my Dad argue about something. Im used to it.

And that's not what's bothering me.
What effing pisses me off is the fact that MY CELLPHONE IS WITH MY DAD!
...and he'll have it with him THE WHOLE DAY!!
That's T-O-R-T-U-R-E!! not knowing what he'll do...who'll text me...what he'll read...WHAT HE'LL THINK!! shet.
I swear I heard the car exit the garage already, but nooooooooooooo, my Dad had to come back inside and ask me...

Dad: "Nagreply na ba si Mommy mo?"
Me: "Hindi pa po."
Dad: "...Borrow muna ng cellphone mo..."
Me: ".....!?!?!?!?!??!?!?.....UUUUUHH...Naubos na po credits ko eh, naubos when I called Mommy......"
*praying he'll buy it"
Dad: "...Okay lang...Bibilhan ko ng load..."

KABOOM.
It felt as if an atomic bomb had been dropped right in front of me.
Being the "good daughter" that I am, I succumbed to the request of, like Jan would put it, the "Kataas-taasan".

STUPID. STUPID decision.

Sorry for ranting about it here, but I just really have to let this out.
Naiiyak nako. BWAHAHA.

I have..."confidential" messages in my Inbox!!!!
"Confidential" could also mean "Deadly" once my Dad reads them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WAAAH.
But if there's one thing I have to be thankful for, its my habit of erasing a person's number from my phonebook whenever "something not-so-good" happens between us...or if I'm trying to forget him...or something like that. So that means, 80% of the messages in my Inbox have no names in them. *WHEW*

BUT STILL!!!!!!!

The content of the messages.....they're lethal...waaah...once my Daddy...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

putangina.
patay ako.

hahahahahhahahahaha.

(wow, unang mura ko sa blog. that's how furious I am. I dont even curse like that in real life. LOL.)

PS - DONT TEXT ME. Please. I didn't know there'll come a day I'd ask everyone to NOT text me, but I'm left with no choice but to hope and pray that no one texts or calls me the whole day. Not today. It'll kill me. Lol.
----------------------------------------------------
Icons galore!
Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com
- n|x - was loved at 7:06 AM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Monday, May 30, 2005


Braver. Better.
I'm braver than I thought I was.

I arrived early and found myself wandering around the school grounds searching for our guidance counselor to submit my UP application forms. Little did I know that I was about to find someone who'd teach me a whole lot more about what to do, where to go, and what decision to make...a decision that was at par with my choice to study in UP, but at the same time, was way ahead in the Emotional Department as far as I was concerned.

As soon as we were only a few meters apart, a big, bright, warning sign popped in my head saying "Caution: Your Past Ahead" We both acted as if nothing happened, and it was either he had read my mind or maybe he just knew me well enough because that was exactly how I wanted things to be. I was surprised by how composed and calm I was during those few minutes of contact. I managed to stare right back despite the fact that I used to helplessly melt whenever I saw myself in its eyes. My voice didn't shake anymore like they used to whenever I tried to blurt out the words that managed to escape from my panicking head. My insides didn't drop, and there definitely were no butterflies felt in my stomach.

It still has that charm though that it's possesed since forever. That's probably one thing that'll never change no matter how undesirable things turn out every time the world spins around us. And I'm pretty sure it's something I'll never learn to get over too. It's that charm that caused me to trip and fall in the first place, and knowing how my body and soul works, the mark it left on me will never be forgotten.

Thanks to it and to everything I've been through, I have now learned to love myself more than I ever thought I could. I always thought I was at the losing end. I always had this notion that I was the only one gaining nothing but guilt and feelings of retribution. But after seeing things from a different perspective and after those bumps in the head that were enough to make my skull appear 3 times thicker than it actually was, I have come to know that I'm one girl who's been at the top ever since. Until now, I remain on that peak and wait for someone to finally reach it and claim it as his own.

---------------------------------------------------------

If there's one thing I love and hate having at the same time, aside from my not-so-thin body of course, it's my pride. Who says it's bad to be proud of something you actually worked hard for? We're automatically given Pride Licenses whenever we achieve something that has done great things for ourselves and for everyone else who are fortunately/unfortunately part of our lives. And with that license comes the right to hold your head up high while that pride holds it there.

But then, there are also times when you just desire for your genie to finally grant that last wish of yours. There are days when you've got everything at your reach except for that one microscopic bit of dream you've always been trying to grab hold of. There are moments when the whole world's already lecturing you and cheering you on to stand up, approach him, and say what you have to say, yet the big P manages to overwhelm you yet again and hold you back for the nth time from getting it over with.

Pride's always going to linger inside of me no matter how hard I try to ignore it. My ego's one thing I'd have to fight a few rounds with before I finally get to knock it out. I hate having to make up excuses and sugarcoating things I'm to proud to admit all the time. I guess that P that's most in touch with external reality it just trying to keep my feet on the Safe Zone, and I'd have to say that it has saved me from stray bullets and hidden landmines. But sometimes, I really do wish I get over my pride and just do what I want to do, feel what I want to feel, and say what I have to say...like say sorry to someone I've unintentionally hurt.

Just to say sorry for one last time...maybe it wouldn't hurt me as much as it had hurt him.

-------------------------------------------------------------

I attended Search-In Circle 100's retreat from Friday till Sunday. It's great to witness my batchmates who used to not even know each other, end up hugging, singing, dancing and do all sorts of silly stuff together. It's great to see how people can still change despite all the drugs they take, tears they cry, stomps they make, and bitch-modes they succumb to. It's great to hear someone say, "Mahal kita...mahal na mahal kita" And it gives you unexplainable satisfaction in having to play a role in all of that.

Welcome to the Search-In family Circle 100! Keep the candle burning! ;)

Circle 96 the best! Fo Sho! Hehe :)

--------------------------------------------------------------

Summer's almost over. It's been raining every day too. I love the rain. I should add that to my list of Simple Joys. :)
It's weird that I'm actually looking forward to going back to school. Despite the fact that I won't be seeing the same set of classmates I've had for the past 7 years, I'm still anticipating the memories I'm going to make this coming Senior year. Besides, it's going to be my last year in Zobel, so I might as well make the most out of it. :)


------------------------------------------------------------

Belated Happy Birthday Cao! ;) (May 27)

---------------------------------------------------------------

[-wishing on a star-]

"in another one tiny area of the shore that surrounds the vast sea, another person rediscovers the feeling of beauty and serenity.

and lost loves...

and hopefully tranquility to calm someone weary...."

Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com
- n|x - was loved at 11:25 PM
[link to post] [2 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Wednesday, May 25, 2005


Friday Night
Friday Night
_______________________________

"Cheese or Pepperoni?" you yelled from the hall.

It annoys me when you turn to me for answers. From your gelled-up hairdo, down to the color of your Chucks. From your choice of who's going to be the next American Idol to the lucid decision-making on what pizza to order on this cold, rainy, Friday night. It seems as if you've got this insatiable yearning for answers from me. It's always been like that from the start. It always had to be you...and me.

"Uh, cheese." I replied, while scanning through the latest issue of Candy.

He's just not that into you.

The heading of one article caught my eye. Before I knew it, The O.C. was over and I was done drooling over Seth Cohen. I immediately found myself totally engrossed by the paragraphs which seemed to relay my hidden fears.

I hear a bag of chips being torn open and saw that big athletic physique I'm so familiar with running towards the big red couch I forced him to buy when he was just moving in.

"What are you reading?"

"Nothing..." I said, while biting my lip in deep engrossment and amazement of the truths I was currently reading.

"Tss..Let me see that!"

You grab the magazine from me, and I frantically try to get it back. The low-cut jeans I was wearing didn't help me at all as I tried to grab you by the arm as you swooped down the carpeted floor.

"How..do you know...if your boy's head over heels...or just simply...playing..." you recited, as if you were re-living our elementary days when we were asked to read our textbooks out loud.

"Give me that!" I managed to finally come in contact with your greatest weakness. I started tickling you incessantly on your sides and behind your ears while I managed to hide the magazine behind the big, blue, pillows I was resting on.

"You should know better than to mess with me Mister!" I shouted, as I tickle-tortured you even more.

"Hahaha! Maya, stop it! You're killing me! Hahaha!"

I decided to finally let you go, not becuase I wanted to spare you from the torture, but because I didn't want you to have an asthma attack again. The last time that happened, my Mom didn't know what to do with you so she called your Mom and your whole family ended up coming to your rescue as they rushed into our house.

"Do you know how embarassing that was? Having a boy see you read about boys? I don't tease you when you read Playboy, or Sports Unlimited, or..I dont know, The Buzz magazine..."

You seemed to have finally stop laughing and stood up right away as if you were Miriam Quiambao trying to impress the judges.

"Aha! But I don't read any of those magazines! The Buzz? Give me a break! You of all people should know that...and why the heck are you embarassed? And besides, you're the one who's so into that bald headed guy...you loved him to the point where you even ignored me..."

I paused.

"What...?" I uncomfortably uttered while I raised my left eyebrow at him. I already told him not to mention him anymore. Why did he have to remind me?

"...You know, that bald Boy Abunda guy. You watch him every Sunday. You even missed my game once, remember?" he replied, looking clueless yet cute. Very cute.

I could tell that you noticed my sudden change in facial expressions. If there was one person who could decipher me like Dr. Phil, t would be you.

"Did I...say anything wrong?"

"Oh..Um no, I just thought...Uh, never mind. "

I breathe a sigh of relief and try to look for the magazine I stashed behind the pillow a while ago.

"You just thought...what?"

I kept on searching for the mag while trying to appear as if I didn't hear anything.

"I get it," you said, with that smug look on your face.

"You get what?"

"You thought I was talking about him...didn't you? Not him again. That bastard's caused you enough pain..." he said, in a annoying im-teasing-you kind of way.

And you had to stress on the "him" part.

I stared at you for a while and finally managed to let something out of my mouth.

"Shut up, Benj..."

I realized that that caught you. We let a few seconds pass and I subconsciously thanked you for not lengthening the awkward reminiscing. I finally found the magazine behind the couch and one by one, I turned the pages.

"I thought this Friday night was just going to be like the times we've shared for the past few years as friends. I thought that that evening, I've already cried enough for Marissa and Ryan, and Seth and Summer. I thought all those popcorn and chips were enough to keep us both preoccupied the whole night. Yet here he was, Benjie, reminding me of the past I tried so hard to bury. So much for helping your best friend let go of the past..." I thought.

Another sigh was heard, but this time it was from him. I was still turning from page to page, and I could tell that Benj was still staring at me. I was too wrapped up in my thoughts to feel butterflies in my stomach or feel conscious like the way I always react when he stares at me. I was drowning in that blast from the past. I thought the pang was already out of my system. I thought I had forgotten about the whole thing already and that the mere thought of him could be easily surpassed. I thought I was completely over him...but it turned out that I was wrong.

I was too lost in my thoughts during the next moments that I didn't realize I was already on the page of the article I was reading earlier. I was too preoccupied by my sudden burst of emotions that I didn't notice the tear that swelled up in my eye.
I was too confused to even think straight, but I was certainly not ready for what was about to happen next...

You slowly sat beside me, and stared at me as if I were this intricate painting being put on display, with all its color and vividness. You put the pillow aside, carefully tucked my hair by left ear, and softly whispered...

"I'm sorry...It's gonna be all right. I promise," you said, and those words dug into my heart.

You then stared me in the eye, wiped my tears and held on to me tight...as if you were never gonna let go.

"I'm here for you, Maya...I'm here..."

I closed my eyes and the tear streaked down my cheek. Right there and then, I felt my body drown in his embrace.

"...I know"

------------------------------------------------------------

to be continued...
*Sorry for the incoherence and other stuff. I was bored, hehe.*

[-the world is full of people with tall tales to sell-]
Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com
- n|x - was loved at 10:59 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Tuesday, May 24, 2005


Flooded Head
"Am I rape-able?"

This may sound like one of those lines you'd hear from a foreign, low-budget, teen-flick-slash-almost-porn-ish movie, with this big-boobed blondie Ms. Popular delivering it with a hot, buffed, quarterback, blue-eyed blondie. But no, it's just really me talking.

"Rape-able" probably isnt even a word, but it just kind of popped in my head yesterday as I was carefully and consistently applying this yummy-smelling body lotion onto my not-so-desirable physique. It's funny how certain thoughts just enter your mind like that. Maybe I have this hidden desire of being "taken advantage of" (coz as horrific as this may sound, I think I had this dream one night of being abused by a group of drunken teenagers by the beach or something...), or maybe I actually have this great fear of being "hurt", or perhaps I just feel utmost sympathy for those young rape victims they show on the news every evening (it's sad how someone's father could be so cruel and unlawful).

I really dont know how or why, but I guess all that is processed in this overused-and-abused organ in my head (the brain is an organ, right?). I always preferred classifying plants and studying genetics over human biology (for obvious reasons), but the subconscious part of my mind has been going berserk for the past couple of weeks. I mean, I can never really know if that's what it's actually doing, but something tells me that this brain of mine has been well-exercised.

"Head over heart? Heart over head?"

There goes another thought. (From rape to body parts, geez)

I have this friend who's been through just about everything. She's resorted to drowning herself in junk food, causing strain to her eyes by crying a river every night, she's even thought of (gulp) the "S" word. (No, not that "S" you green-minded mortal, the other "i'd-rather-jump-off-a-50-foot-cliff" kind of thing). I felt really bad for her since the cause of all her pain was this big-headed jerk who didn't deserve to live (why? here's one of a thousand reasons: he even started err, flirting with me...in front of her). Yeah, he may have perfect eyes, a red car, and a nice Ate, but sometimes (most of the time actually), your knight in shining armor, whom most of us also call "Prince Charming", turns out to be the founder of "J.E.R.K. Inc."

Anyway, before I sound like a man-hater here, allow me to ponder on why my friend still thought that this guy was still worth her tears. Maybe, she just really has strong feelings for him to the point where she can't let go. But is that four-letter-word you see everywhere every February really enough for one to hold on that tight...till her hands bled? Maybe, she felt as if she wasn't complete without him, like she needed him like water and air, as if she knew from the very start that he was "the one", her soulmate, her one true love.
On second thought, I think scenarios like that are only fit for those love stories that some hopefuls love to dream about while others dread so immensely cause they have this recurring phrase in their head: "This isn't reality. Snap out of it."

I dont know. I'm running out of "Maybes..." and hypotheses. And I'll probably never understand the concept of the whole "No question about it. Heart over head. Whatever that thumb-test thing says, I'm following this beating thing in me" story. Not only does it sound pathetic, it also seems funny and dumb to the majority of this almost-cynical modern world. Like what that quote someone missent me a couple of years ago said, "The head is put on top of everything else for a reason," and that phrase just seems so justifiable and sensible, to the point where it's almost convincing.

Many have been swayed. Many have been converted. Many have realized that reality bites just as much as those bed bugs do at night (but a whole lot harsher).
Many have realized the reason why the head was put on top of everything else.
And I know you never could've guessed that I'm one of them now. (Sarcasm, sarcasm)

Oh, and that friend of mine I was talking about?
That was me. The old me. (Minus the melodrama and the "S" word)

And no, I haven't been sobbing, or feeling depressed, so hold that apathy-rush. I've actually been my best the past couple of days, and it's great to finally be in that state without having to rely on someone else.

I've just been thinking, that's all...and that is one of the many things that come with the Same-Old-Brand-New/repackaged me. :)

[-Living life in full color-]
Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com
- n|x - was loved at 10:35 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Monday, May 23, 2005


Life's a bitch.
"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch.
You've got to go out and kick ass." - Maya Angelou

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the author, Maya Angelou is one of today's greatest contemporary writers. She's a poet, teacher, historian, best-selling author, actor, playwright, civil-rights activist, and...my muse.

I first saw her in this particular episode of Oprah (who's my other muse, by the way).
The name "Maya Angelou" was faintly familiar to me, coz i remembered seeing her name on Hallmark cards (yes, I am guilty of Hallmark-card-reading), but I never really knew who this woman was until she exchanged words of wisdom with Oprah on that show.

The moment I heard the words that came out of her mouth, I could say that she indeed captivate me lyrically by how she put her wisdom and emotions together to make up phrases of truth and beauty.

I remember hearing her say something like:

"With all the evil that surrounds us, I dont blame people for losing hope. But this, I've got to tell you: yes, darkness and pain may lurk, but remember...there will always good in this world."

After having heard that, I was forever changed by those words.
I found inspiration from a stranger who lived faraway yet managed to touch my heart.
Maybe that's why I have great fondness for writing...because I too want to have that very same power...the power to touch lives with my words.

--------------------------------------
Some of my favorite Maya Angelou quotes:

"If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don't be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning 'Good morning' at total strangers"

"Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness."

"How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes!"

"History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again."

"If you dont like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."

"The main thing in one's own private world is to try to laugh as much as you cry."

"Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns all clean. "

"Look for the beauty in things."

"Lyrical poetry is out for the time being, and something that is called rap or hip-hop is in. It is still poetry, and we can't live without it. We need language to tell us who we are, how we feel, what we're capable of — to explain the pains and glory of our existence."

"Still, when it looked like the sun wasn't going to shine anymore, God put a rainbow in the clouds."

" A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song. "

"Poetry is music written for the human voice."

-------------------------------------------

[-There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside of you-]
Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com
- n|x - was loved at 11:36 PM
[link to post] [3 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Friday, May 20, 2005


Reincarnated
Im alive! :)
Ive isolated myself from the world for the past 2 weeks (well, it was more like, the world isolated itself from me).
It was nice to have spent time with someone I've lost touch with.
Myself.

I got to think, think, and think even more till my brain hurt.
And finally, all that thinking paid off, and like what Jo mentioned, I am now "gratis". (Did I use the word right? Lol.)

Free at last.
From all worries, fears, throbs, lies, pretentions and inhibitions.

People have been asking me, "What's been happening to you lately?"
It's like being asked, "Wazzup/Watsup/Wassap?"
I'd usually answer stuff like, "Nothin' much...The sky...or Wala lang" but recently, I think I've come up with the correct-est answer to that question.

The next time someone asks me again, I'd have to answer:
"Life. Life's been happening to me."

Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com
-------------------------------------------------

We were all kids at one point in our lives. And sometimes, our teenage/adult years just make us seem to want that carefree life back. Allow me to reminisce and look back at the young Nikki that was me...

When I was a kid...

-used to think Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy were the perfect pair
-Princess Sarah was my role model
-I knew the Sineskwela song by heart
-I used to fancy Aaron Carter
-The Macarena was the ultimate dance craze
-The Backstreet Boys were gods and the Spice Girls were goddesses
-I thought all clowns were gays
-Summer seemed a looooooot longer (I even forgot how to play the recorder during one summer vacation)
-I felt flushed whenever I see newly-weds kiss after the priest says You may now kiss the bride...
-I'd slap my mouth whenever I say something bad

-Our barkada was named Celinikkigelena (our names combined, lol)
-I used to dance in the rain...with my boy friends"
-I used to wear the same clothes that my brothers wore
-I used to be fond of Robee stickers
-I thought rainbows were magical
-I was amazed and proud when my Mom gave me my first ever cellphone, it was a Nokia Ringo
-I suddenly didnt know what to do whenever I received a letter/cake/card from a boy
-I spelt choir as quirre and misspelled a whole lot of other words
-I loved signing Scrapbooks
-my China cabinet used to look a whole lot taller
-I thought I had powers coz my finger doesnt burn whenever it passes through a lit candle's wick

-I badly wanted to wear high heels
-I got spooked by this low, freaky, hellish voice which played while I was listening to my Mariah Carey tape
-I anticipated THE Prom
-I wanted my mom's jewelries (and played with her makeup)
-I thought Bill Gates was one of the Beatles
-I listened to Alanis Morissette's songs and loved them even though I didnt really get the lyrics
-I loved Steps, the Backstreet Boys, The Corrs, Mariah Carey, All Saints, Britney Spears, Spice Girls, Christina Aguilera, and even A1 (lol)
-I thought you had to have a boyfriend at age 16 (which I have already disproved)
-I had a doll named "Jennifer" whom I treated as my baby
-I had this big gray toy dog whom I thought at first was a horse

-I crushed on high school boys and wanted to be like their cheerleading-girlfriends
-I feared Biology, Chemistry, Physics, Statistics, Trigonometry, and Philosophy (got through them all, woohoo)
-I played the piano (almost) 24/7
-I once said, "Okay, you can email me at http://www.nikki.com/...."
-I couldnt walk through the back of our house at night coz I was too scared of the dark (& i was too scared to even turn the lights on)
-I didnt smile whenever pictures were taken
-My hair was still super straight, soft, and shiny
-I thought the giant screens inside the cinemas were larger than life
-I used to climb trees with my girl cousins

-I had a best friend named Carlo (who lived 2 houses away from us)
-I adored Barbies and Polly Pockets….and water guns and remote-controlled cars
-I used to cook leaves and twigs
-I "murdered" a fly with someone as my witness
-I was "Princess of May" and "Reyna....something" during a couple of Santacruzans (oh yes, lol)
-I had a crush on a couple of cousins
-I was paired with our neighbor, Ryan, who lived right across our house (he was 3/4 years older than me)
-I thought jelly beans were a delicacy
-I felt naked without my earrings (until now actually)
-I thought air conditioners would produce snow if you keep them on long enough

-I dreamed of becoming a princess and living in a castle
-I used to exchange stickers and stationeries with my friends
-I accidentally drowned my 3rd cellphone while trying to walk on rocks by this river at my cousins backyard (it took us 45 minutes to get to the pool-like part of the river but we only swam for like 10 minutes coz it started to rain, and we even had the climb/descent was really hard coz the paths were really steep)
-I played with Jackstones and Chinese Garter
-My piece whenever my parents would ask me to sing in front of their employees was "Tomorrow" (The sun will come out...tomorrow...)
-I was a Pusoy Dos champ
-I asked my Mom, "Mommy, when are we buying that condom?" (condo supposedly)
-My Dad bought us taho (almost) everyday

-I used to find Carlo Aquino, Danilo Barrios, Ben Adams, and even Michael Jackson...cute (back when he still looked human)
-A boy accidentally caused me to fall on my knees while we were racing back to the school bus (the scar of that wound never disappeared, literally)
-I was obsessed with Sweet Valley High, Nancy Drew, and Are You Afraid Of The Dark books
-I loved the Power Rangers, Rupert, The Ninja Turtles, Captain Planet and the Planeteers, Arthur, the talking trains and trucks (I forgot what they’re called), the Wonderful World of Richard Scary, B1 and B2, X-Men, the Berenstein Bears, Pooh, Piglet, Betty Boop, and my childhood muse, Hello Kitty...

to be continued...

-be-you-tiful as ever-
"Expect a lot of miracles in life..."

Image hosted by Photobucket.com Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
- n|x - was loved at 9:33 AM
[link to post] [2 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Tuesday, May 10, 2005


Poems
Product of insomia (and a little bit of my muse)

For lack of better things to do, and because I ended up turning on and shutting down my PC for a record-breaking 6 times already for the past 3 hours, I ended up with these two poems which I can add to my already-jaded anthology.

Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com

Note:
WYRIWYG (R = read)
Assumptions/judgements are discouraged.
Spare me from out-of-place and prejudiced notions, please.
Comments and violent reactions are very much welcome though. :)
(That's the beauty of literature, only the author can really know.)
=============================

Gratis
05.09.05

I started down the trail
Alone and frail
With eyes at my back
I worked my way through

With every step I gasped
Knowing I wouldnt last
With shivering hands
I boldly staggered

Searched for refuge and fodder
To escape my own slaughter
Slowly I crept up the hill
A touch of life was found

I then lay on the ground
For on that very mound
With my arms wide open
I offered myself to you

I stood up on both feet
With no stain of conceit
I bowed before you
And freed my entirety


========================

Unforeseen
05.09.05

I forgot all about you in record time
You seemed to have been erased from my mind
Im surprising myself
Im swollen with pride
Now without your lies
Ill be doing just fine

Guess youre not the person I presumed you to be
The most bogus of lines I always perceived
Im surprising myself
All filled with apathy
Look from afar
Foresee what youve done to me

Youre still held by those chains
Of what seemed like fatal pain
Im surprising myself
First-hand guilt had remained
Watch out young chap
Theres nothing youve gained

By far you were a dream that realized
But now with you rouge I sympathize
Im surprising myself
Ive now won the prize
To you I say goodbye
For you have met your demise

=========================

[-Desiring no more than what I have-]

"To be is all I gotta be
And all that I see
and all that I need this time
To me the life you gave me
The day you said goodnight."

Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com
- n|x - was loved at 12:03 AM
[link to post] [3 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Sunday, May 08, 2005


Mother's Day
-Unlike mother, Unlike daughter-

All that tossing and turning in bed last night didn't pay off.
The whole time, I was trying to think of something my brothers and I could do for my Mom.
Being the advertising-aspirant that I am, tons of ideas bombarded my mind.
If those ideas had been for other mothers, It'd be a breeze for me to pull them off.
But this was my Mom, and that's what makes it all the more special.

I woke up this morning with the whole thing still in my mind.
I got up and headed for the kitchen where my Mom was.
I sat on one of the chairs and started munching on some bread.

"Ano ba, say it..just say it!"

I munched some more.

"Yoohoo! You there?! Just say it, dammit!"

Munch. Grind. Gulp.

"This is pathetic. Why can't I even greet my own mother!??"

This went on for a few hours, and surprisingly, my brothers were going through the same thing.
This was typical of us, coz our family is anything but verbal about our feelings.

I went inside my room where all my brothers were and started thinking of something that can at least spell out what we've all been trying to tell her.
After a few minutes of material-gathering, door-locking, and a lot of dont-let-mommy-see-what-were-doing, we ended up with this:

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

You can't exactly compare it to a Picasso. I dont even think it can be classified as art.
It can probably pass Ms Camacho's standards.
But apart from all that, it was something meant for our Mom...and that's what makes it extra special.

She doesnt know this online journal exists.
About 98% of the stuff I write here is unknown to her.
She doesnt know alot about me, and I know that's one thing we both have to work on.
But if there's one thing I want her to know, it would be the fact that...she's my hero.

Love you Mommy :)

Happy Mother's day to everyone! ;)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
- n|x - was loved at 1:17 PM
[link to post] [2 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Friday, May 06, 2005


The Beach
I still believe in paradise, but now at least I know it is not some place that you can look for because it is not where you go...

Its how you feel for a moment in your life when you are a part of something. And if you find that moment, it lasts forever.

-"The Beach"

Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com

I soooo want to go to the beach.
Those are pictures of the resort my friends and I have been planning to visit.
We just have to keep our fingers crossed coz according to my mom, they've got no accomodations left. Argh.

But anyway, that quote from "The Beach" is just so true, isn't it?
I guess everyone's wish really is to find paradise. :)
- n|x - was loved at 10:14 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~



stuff
Like my cousin once said, "lumalabas kakulangan natin sa iodized salt sa mga trivia game shows sa TV!"

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

host: "Saan gawa ang French Fries?"
contestant: "Sa French!"

host: "Kung ang four ay apat, ano naman ang...forest?"
contestant: "Minute!"
*Laughs*
host: "Forest? Minute?"
contestant: "Ah..kala ko Oras!"

host: "Kung ang araw ay sun, ano naman ang...kaarawan?"
contestant: "burtdeeh"
*Laughs*
host: "ano ulit?"
contestant: "buuurt-dee"
host: "spell..."
contestant: "bee-ay-ar-ti-etch-dee-eh-way, burtdeh!"
(ay bisaya ka man)

host: "Sa math, ano ang three times three....."
*contestant pushes buzzer*
contestant: "6!"
*Laughs*
host: "Aba sandali! Tama sya! Dahil ang buong tanong ay, ano ang three times three minus three...six nga!"
(talk about lucky)

----------------------------

host: "Ano ang kulay ng orange juice kapag nilagay sa blue na baso?"
contestant: "....violet"

host: "Kelan ang pasko sa DAVAO?"
contestant: "Pass..."
(bwahaha)

host: "Ano ang tawag sa taong walang suot sa paa?"
contestant: "Slipperless"

host: "What is the capital of the Philippines?"
contestant: "P"
(onga naman)

host: "Ano ang tawag sa needle-like projections na nakasabit sa ceiling ng mga caves?"
contestant: "Ice pick"

host: "Yes or no: Ang salad dressing ba ay damit?
contestant: (sandaling nag-isip) "YES!"
(at least nag-isip)

host: "Anong hayop and di nakakakita sa araw ngunit nakakakita sa dilim?"
contestant: "Flashlight!"

host: "Ano ang kasunod ng kidlat?"
contestant: "Sunog"
(pwedee..)

host: "Anong "D" ang first word sa first stanza ng "Jingle Bells?"
contestant: "Dyingel?"

host: "Anong "H" ang tawag sa taong nag-iisa?"
contestant: "Home Alone"

host: "Ano ang itlog na ayon sa iba, nakakapagpatigas ng tuhod?"
contestant: "Tama!"
----------------------------

[-lovin' it!-]
Image hosted by Photobucket.comImage hosted by Photobucket.com (i love elmo!)
- n|x - was loved at 3:49 PM
[link to post] [2 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


[ Photos ] [ Anthology ] [ Tagboard ] [ Links ]