Tuesday, May 29, 2007


Kwentong Promdi

Tunay ngang nagsilbing hudyat ng painbagong buhay ang paglipat namin dito sa Laguna ng aking pamilya noong Linggo ng Pagkabuhay. (Mahirap magsulat ng deretsong Tagalog, kung kaya’t…) If before I was being teased of living way too down south (because I lived at the edge of Metro Manila literally), imagine the irony now that I actually live in the province. Coming home all the way from Katipunan Avenue every week would seem like a recurring puke-trigging road trip to some. In my case, the one to two-and-a-half drive is just like any other. Occasional butt-pains are felt ever so often from heavy traffic, yes. But running on several highways on one single journey, so to speak, has become a routinary gas-burning episode of my life.


I never really felt the probinsya-vibe until I found out that neither Smart, Globe, nor PLDT, could provide our house (which is located at the far side of the village) with much-needed internet. Shit, no YM, no X-ing, no life? Thoughts of not being able to check my mail for replies from Europe, making chichi while chatting until 3am, downloading new songs and videos, or checking Multiply for incriminating pictures bothered me for days. DSL was fun and fast and fitting, but due to unwanted circumstances, I had to say goodbye to it and bear with 14.2 kbps dial-up internet in the dorm and costly Katipunan and Paseo internet cafes. Left with no choice, I got used to it and eventually learned to appreciate having to go back to the bygone Friendster-less days. I started reading, writing, and playing the piano again. I cleaned my room twice over, and even more fulfilling was being able to jog as the sun rose and set. Things I never had the time or effort to do back in “the metro” suddenly became part of my daily routine – and everything was great.


That was until summer said byebye and dark clouds started appearing.


I’ve always been a lover of rain. Call me narrow-minded for not minding how it causes flooding, traffic, and interruption in other people’s lives, but I’ve always liked the feeling of crisp air and the sight of trickling rain drops. I like how I can be safely snug on my bed, with my blanket over me, and just listen to the beating of the rainwater. But recently, I’ve been struggling to hold on to that liking for heavy downpours because of the unusual aftermath we experience here in Santa Rosa.


Once the sky starts clearing up and the drizzle stops, what-seems-like drunken frogs start singing (if you can call it that). Sure, Ive heard how normal frogs sound, but here, they noise is far from the ordinary Kokak! Either they sound like little cows mooing or rubber duckies being stepped on, I don’t know. And sure, it’s good to be close to nature every once in a while, but I think this is just far too funny to be considered good ecology.


If you think loud and high Kermits are annoying enough, just wait until you see how were swarmed by gamo-gamos. We actually have instant insect-killing gadgets at home – from repellant candles to tennis-like electrocuters to bug-zappers. But somehow, the flying lesser butterflies manage to get inside the house and adore the bright lights. Were left with no choice but to turn off most of the lights at night and pray that they don’t take revenge on us for massacreing their relatives and friends. Our floors have to be constantly sweeped for twitching wings too. In fact, while Im typing this now, a single pesky gamo-gamo is trying to spy on my personal blog because of the brightness of the laptop. Shoo!


Of course, there’s a tad bit of exaggeration in my frog and gamo-gamo dilemmas. It’s really not as bad as it sounds because they only happen after the rain and theyre more bearable than bad karaoke singers and outrageous bus drivers. But still, dealing with frogs and gamo-gamos is funny, annoying, and weird all at the same time. I don’t think I can really put up with it the long run, but for now I guess all I can do is try to get used to it. I am an animal of a higher phylum, gifted with reason and intelligence unlike any other. Im sure I can outwit those amphibians and insects.


Right?


- n|x - was loved at 7:52 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Tuesday, May 15, 2007


The beach...at last!
AIESEC UPD's Year Planning-Seminar
Al Fresco Resort, Matabungkay, Lian, Batangas

From the unbearable karaoke singers, sex-y couple, 35-peso slippers, She's The Man marathon, drool-sessions over Channing Tatum, serious brainstorming, birth of *kaching* ideas, beach leg of "cheter" photoshoot, beer-pouring, lost earrings, volleyball and futsal on sand, drunken games, down to the very emo ultimate bonding experiences, my first ever plansem was definitely a blast! Woot!

Let the photos speak for themselves :D

*because im only on dial-up now, the photos are taking ages to load, so just visit the pictures at my multiply!*

- n|x - was loved at 8:59 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Friday, May 11, 2007


On Being a Used-To-Be-Freshie

For the first time in a long summer-schoolday-time, I woke up before Detective Conan was even on TV yesterday. With only 2 hours of sleep, I was awakened by the rush of adrenaline that pushed me to meet AJ’s meeting time of nine o’clock. I arrived at BA and met with Henry, Alexis, AJ, and eventually Denise, whom we all depended on to jumpstart winning over dear freshies’ innocent hearts and minds.

“Welcome to BA! Join UP AIESEC!” was my line for the morning as I rushed to every freshie-looking student that came out of the P&G Room, handing out flyers.

I noticed how some of them found it weird to have strangers come up to them, like predators patiently waiting for their prey. Some others were too busy looking for their Mommies, and the rest seemed to get along well with their newfound (or old high school) friends.

I remember my first day in BA just like it was yesterday.

*daydream sequence begins here*

I scanned the room for old friends, potential friends, and well, boy_friends (if you know what I mean). I remember noticing Tanya because of her long brown hair and petite build, and Jorell, just because no one can miss him. Resisting distraction, I finally paid attention to all the alien terms they were telling us but still got lost in the unfamiliarity of the Form5As, Records, and GWA-requirements anyway. Just when I was gathering enough saliva to strike up a conversation with the girl to my left, we were finally asked to leave the room and enroll. I heard that Mr. Enrollment in the University had a reputation as dirty as that of Ms. Sunken Garden’s, and although the trip to Palma Hall was a forgettable experience, getting there definitely wasn’t. The semi-long line I found at Palma Hall’s Lobby was new to me since we rarely had to wait in line back in High School. But more than that, I was overwhelmed by the feeling of getting lost in a crowd of totally unfamiliar faces. With only Fio and Chrissie to keep me composed, I was trying to wake up the sleeping independence in me to go through the whole process alone – without looking stupid and lost – which I think is every freshie’s goal on his first day.

*daydream sequence ends here*

My first year in college went exactly how they said it would be - weird and scary at first, but it got easier and waaay more fun eventually. I think I would prefer to be a college freshie a little while longer if I were given a choice. But since I am left with nothing but SuperAlmostUS grades and an age that is far from being suitable for a Freshman, I can only say that my first year in UP defined me in ways that I could have never imagined. I met amazing people, with brilliant minds and even bigger hearts, and luckily, I even became friends with some of them. I saw, felt, and heard, just about everything and anything I could have had, and had a taste of the unknown, the unfamiliar, and even the unwanted. All the same, I swear that it was all worth it.

So to the incoming freshmen, welcome and beware, because the best days of your lives are yet to come!

Oh, and don’t forget - join UP AIESEC. :P

PS – New batchmates/shiftees, welcome to BA! (Yet another shameless plug) Join baCBAcan!

PS2 – Elaine and friends, welcome to UP! If you need any help getting around, just message me okay? I’ll be more than willing to help. And don’t worry, obviously the memories of being a freshie are still, um, “fresh” to me, so I will try my best to help you get rid of the stigma and confusion. Haha ;)


- n|x - was loved at 10:34 AM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Wednesday, May 09, 2007


Swallowing it whole
Im not one who takes criticisms well. Ive lived my entire life trying to please the people around me, because I grew up that way. But whenever I fail to do so, my self-esteem is crushed.

I know Im not the best writer in the world. In fact, I think I suck at it.
My essays are way too full of clutter.
My sentences are vague.
My words are either too elementary or too deep.
My ideas are far from being direct to the point.
To me, everything just seems wrong - nothing close to how I want them to be.
And I struggle every time I try to get a message across.
Because I grew up that way.

It even makes me wonder why some people even think of me as a "writer".

This isnt false humility or whatever. It isnt something Im proud of, instead, its something Im daring to really work on because I do want to be a better writer and live up to other people's expectations.

More than that, I know that my life is not as exciting, action-packed, or drama-filled as some other people's lives are. I dont have life-changing entries to share, scandalous pics to post, or inspiring blogs to show to the entire world.

Even I cringe whenever I read my past entries. Some I find okay, the rest I find either funny or embarassing. I dont edit or re-read whatever I type because I just let all the thoughts out and click on "Publish." If those were the things I was thinking during that certain time, then I let it be. That's what online journals are for anyway, arent they?

But if people dont like what they read here, or if you dont like the person who writes them, then just dont visit the blog. Its as simple as that.

Yes, I may be being defensive. And yes, I know it's a very petty thing to react to.
Like I said, I dont take criticisms, much more haters, well.
But if writing about it is what it takes to swallow that comment whole, then take this as my goddamned reply.

And by the way, Im back, whether you like it or not.

- n|x - was loved at 11:59 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Tuesday, May 08, 2007


THIS SITE IS...
UNDER CONSTRUCTION :)

Im on blog leave.
(Lets see how long this will last..haha!)

- n|x - was loved at 10:51 AM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Friday, May 04, 2007


Waning super powers
I seriously need something to happen with my life. Good. Bad. Whatever.

I cant even extract enough emotions or thoughts to start a decent blog entry.


But Ive had enough of you.

Im all burned out. Im tired.


Every single day's been redundant.

Im homesick.

I miss Nino.

And you.

WHEREAREYOU.


Yuck, and emo. Eeeeeeeeew.
Somebody slap me.

***
I think I want to take Yoga classes.

- n|x - was loved at 12:05 AM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Tuesday, May 01, 2007


Of accessories & the past
Past #1:
I heard he broke up with his girlfriend because of seemingly very valid reasons. He's had his heart broken more than once already. He deserves this break from it all.

Past #2:
Everyone's dying to know what the real score is.
Just Imagine my anxiety and plight.

Okay, just to make things clear. By past I mean it in the very sense of the word.

***
An excerpt from a conversation with my best friend:

Nikki Librada: see
Nikki Librada: mas masaya maging single
Nikki Librada: :))
Danielle: HAHAHAHAHA
Danielle: i have to agree
Danielle: lol
Danielle: deh joke lang
Danielle: hahaha
Nikki Librada: D hahaha
Nikki Librada: remember the time when you referred to mikey as your accessory?
Danielle: yeahhh
Danielle: why?
Danielle: did he get mad?
Nikki Librada: haha no
Nikki Librada: now, alexis and i refer to -CENSORED- as "accessories"
Nikki Librada: we want accessories too
Nikki Librada: haha
Danielle: HAHAHAHAHA!
Danielle: got it from E!
Danielle: lol. they call paris hilton's boys her accessories
Danielle: hahah
Nikki Librada: hahahah
Nikki Librada: nice
Nikki Librada: :))
Danielle: so there. yey.
Danielle: eh ikaw naman marami eh
Nikki Librada: wala akong nasusuot eh
Nikki Librada: o:
Nikki Librada: hahaha
Danielle: walang nagkakasya
Danielle: hahahahaha
Nikki Librada: hahaha.. oo. either nahuhulog kasi maluwag, or di man lang magkasya
Nikki Librada: lol
Danielle: hahahaha! exactly! it's amazing!
Danielle: hahaaha!!!
Danielle: bloggable
Danielle: lol
Nikki Librada: exactly what i was thinking :))

It sounds kupal, I know, but the people who know me will get what I mean.

We shall talk more soon hun. See you! :)

- n|x - was loved at 10:55 PM
[link to post] [0 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


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