Saturday, March 26, 2005


My Last Day of Being 16
Being 16 has been the greatest! (Is that gramatically correct? Lol)

Even though I still have a lot of uncertainties (like the correctness of my previous sentence), the past year would definitely have to be one of the most colorful (and not to mention, craziest) chapters in my life. I know it's cliche, but being sixteen was truly...sweet.Ü I've always thought that being a teenager meant having to deal with immature boys, choice of clothes and make-up, terror teachers, Physics & Trigonometry, fights with your 'rents, and the likes. Well, I was right, wasn't I? But it wasn't just all about that. It meant so much more.

Omg. I sound like a woman in her late 50s reminiscing her teenage years.Ö That's scary. But maybe someday, when my face is filled with unwanted wrinkles and when my hair has turned all gray, I'll look back and realize how fragile and innocent I was back then. I've always thought of myself as someone who's been through a lot. But whenever I hear stories about other people who got pregnant at the age of 16, who got drunk and wasted at 15, who jumped off the roof at 16 and a half, I realize how innocent I am compared to these people. Not that having to do crazy things means that you're already "mature" or "experienced". It's just that, I still have a lot of nights to spend crying, days to spend laughing, and years to spend living.
Surprisingly, it saddens me to think that I'll be writing the number "7" after the "1" on the blank next to the "Age" part of my college application forms. The fact that Im turning a year older does make my knees feel all wobbly too, coz it's like an indication that I really am *gulp* old...matanda..gurang. I remember wanting to be "seventeen" back when I was still seven. I have an entry in my diary as proof of how I expected that age to be full of "bitterness, boyfriends, and bawls." I end up laughing every time I read that journal. I can't believe I used to believe all the things I see and hear on those teen-oriented sitcoms and movies. Those shows may not be 100% fictional, but they sure have a lot of truth in them. Sometimes, it makes me even want to wish that I was some character or actress in a show. I want to be like Lana Lang...or Marissa...or Hailey...or some other tv hearthrob (the thought of having a Clark Kent, a Ryan, and Nathan is quite dreamy too! hehe). Kristin Kreuk or Mischa Barton portray their characters well and they seem to efficiently squeeze out all that emotion needed for every scene. Most girls probably go through the same scenarios...too bad they don't have scripts to tell them exactly what to do or where to go.

Speaking of scripts, for my English poem (which I submitted to Sir Alfer a day after the deadline...haha) I wrote about the "woman behind the red curtain". I talked about how things in my life seemed to be part of a play, with interesting characters, not-so-bland scenes, and a normal setting. I mentioned how the story went on...how the scripts were made as the lines were being said. I wrote about how I was trying to conquer the stage and how I managed to let the audience see the character, that is me. But aside from all that, I talked about the woman behind the red curtain...my mom.

My Mom kissed me an hour ago. And that kiss would have to be the best gift I'll be receiving on my birthday(grammar check please, hehe).
You see, it's not a "normal thing" in our family to kiss...to hug...to say "I Love You" or to even say "Peace Be With You" in mass every Sunday.
I have to admit that sometimes, I envy those kids who get goodnight kisses and tight hugs before they go to sleep.
But despite this atypical setting that I am in, I am proud to say that we're a weird...yet, happy family.Ü

I was sitting quietly on the big, brown, couch while watching 7th heaven (missing Simon's character and adoring Ashlee Simpson's outfit) when my Mom sat down beside me...asked me why I tied my hair (coz she thought that I looked "prettier" with my hair up)...stared at my me for a few seconds (which Im used to...coz she does that either to examine my skin or point out an imperfection/asset)...then, out of nowhere, she kissed me on the cheeks. I just acted as if I wasn't "loving" her kiss and giggled as I said, "Mooommy..." But the truth was, during those few seconds of her PDA-ing...I felt loved.Ü I really did. And that made my day...which also made me want to live another year longer.

As I end my days of being 16 (I suck at English compositions...Im doubting my writing skills as of the moment, so pardon the grammatical errors, okie? hehe), I look back and see a Dominique (wow, I called myself by my first name, haha) full of hopes and dreams...of homeworks and fears, of kilig moments and tears (rhyming!), of friendships and laughters, of lessons and outbursts (i couldnt think of a word that would rhyme with "laughters"), of dilemmas and triumphs, and of disappointments and love.

As I draw near the world of being seventeen, I see a road ahead full of more heartbreaks, Investigative Projects, love pentagons, addictions, best friends, crushes, late-night phone conversations, cramming, advice-giving, medals, adventures, bondings, realizations, prayers, and dreams.

To all the people who have always been and have become part of my life, thank you.Ü

Goodbye, sweet sixteen.

Happy 17th Birthday to me! (in approximately 2 and a half hours) hehe. =D

God Bless everyone! Advanced Happy Easter! <3
- n|x - was loved at 7:06 PM
[link to post] [3 smiles for me :)]
~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


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