Tuesday, December 07, 2004


Undefined
Fun Word Definitions
*from the net
• ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonalds
• AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tried to do
• BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage
• BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with
• CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate
• COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
• ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living
• EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist
• HEROES: What a guy in a boat does
• LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money
• MISTY: How golfers create divots
• PARADOX: Two physicians
• PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
• PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm
• POLARIZE: What penguins see with
• PRIMATE: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV
• RELIEF: What trees do in the spring
• RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife
• SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does
• SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official

Once again, The Washington Post published its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. And the winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.


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