The moment I heard this, I told myself. . .
"This is my song."

You First Believed
by Hoku

How many times did I pray
You'd find us
How many wishes on a star
Gazing off into the dark
Dreaming I'd see your face
Safe at home unafraid
Captured in your embrace

So many times
When my heart was broken
Visions of you
Would keep me strong
You were with me all along
Guiding my every step
You are all that I am
And I'll never forget

It was you who first believed
In all that I was made to be
It was you looking in my eyes
You held my hand
And showed me life
And I've never been the same
Since you first believed

There were times
When I thought I'd lost you
Fearing forever was a dream
But it wasn't what it seemed
Placing your hand in mine
You could see in the dark
You were guiding my heart

It was you who first believed
In all that I was made to be
It was you looking in my eyes
You held my hand
And showed me life
And I've never been the same
Since you first believed

How many times did I pray
You'd find me
How many wishes on a star

The past 36-or-so hours seemed like a lifetime to me.

I

I was dying.

All that preparation for the prom would have been a whole lot more enjoyable if only tests and schoolwork didnt get in the way. I went all the way to Laguna to fit my dress thrice and I slept at 12 o clock the whole week. And dammit, that drained the life out of me. =o

I was eager.

As the actual day of the prom came, I realized OMG. PROM NA. All those months of thinking of the perfect dress, the perfect look, the perfect venue, the perfect time, the perfect date, the perfect night. . .were about to become a reality.

Except that. . .everything wasnt so perfect.

I was gay. . .for a moment.

When I woke up yesterday, I didnt feel the prom-fever yet. But as the day progressed, thats when it really hit me.

I arrived at Dusit at around 1:30. It was early so we decided to go to Glorietta and look for Davids Salon already since I had an appointment there. As I entered the salon, this gay guy, who looked like the half-brother of Sir Pornelius and Sir Alfer, greeted us and it turned out that he was the head makeup artist there. The fact that he was gay made me nervous coz I feared the dreaded oh-my-god-I-look-gay look. Hear this: he shaped my eyebrows –which I think was stupid of me to agree with him in the first place- put concealer all over my face till my shoulders –which was okay- and I was even feeling awkward coz this gay guy was touching my uh, shoulders, and uh, the skin below them, but when he said – Baka akalain ng tatay mo kung ano ginagawa ko ha, Diyos ko. . .- in a really gay manner, I was comforted by the confirmation that he was really gay. So anyway, I was showing him this pic in this mag for my desired makeup, but then, to cut the long story short, I ended up looking gay. Yes. The oh-my-god-I-look-gay look was staring me at the eye as I looked at the mirror. Ask Marie, Lav, and Jeanne. I didnt look like me. At all!

What made that experience more horrible was that, Marco and David were in the same salon! And they saw me! With my gay look! But wait. . .not only that, Ferdi and Boggs came strutting in the salon too! You should have seen my reaction when I saw them walk in. Lol. It was horrifyingly nerve-wrecking. But nonetheless, I just laughed it off. Hehe. I was fortunate enough to have talked to this other makeup girl in the same salon, coz she repaired my spiritually damaging makeup. Though the end result wasnt what I really expected it to be, at least I looked decent. Decent, being, a notch higher than the oh-my-god-I-look-gay look. =P

I was ecstatic.

From the salon, we decided to walk to our hotel room in Dusit. As we entered the front lobby, we could already see a lot of people in their gowns and suits. It was around 6:15 already and we werent even dressed yet, so we were starting to panic. As we entered room 1040 on the 10^th floor, Lorenzo, Serge, Romeo, Poch, and Marge were already there. Wala pa rin palang nakabihis. Lol. So we all dressed up at the same time. I found the whole scene funny actually, coz there was even an instance when Poch had to go out the bathroom with a towel covering his eyes coz he had to pass through the room where we were dressing up. Hehe. But as I was scanning through the scenario, I felt ecstatic. Coz the prom was only a few minutes away.

I was panicking.

Believe it or not, my dress got ruined! My dress was simple but had this complicated design. Some stitches at the side where some of the pleats were supposed to be were, well, unstitched! And so, it was a good thing I brought a couple of safety pins with me –they saved my life!- and my Mom was able to fix my dress more or less. It didnt look as nice as it had looked originally, but it wasnt that obvious, so I decided to shrug the whole thing of.

I was amazed.

Everyone looked great! All the girls looked glammed up and the guys looked like businessmen-wannabes. There were those who stood out, and there were a few who strained my eyes, but nonetheless, almost everyone was at their best last night.

I was guilty.

I ended up breaking someones night. I think I got a couple of someoneS frustrated. Knowing that someone was badtrip coz of what you did would make you feel badtrip as well. I knew I had to make up for it. And so I did what I had to do. I knew agreeing with them in the first place was wrong –I realized that when it was already too late- and things got all screwed up. I also knew that I just had to make things work, and fortunately, things went my way. And hopefully, they felt the same way. =O

I was having fun.

All that dancing added more sparkle to the night. I was hesitant to dance at first coz of my Über long dress, but when Charles dragged me along, I decided make my night something to not be regretful about.

When the slow songs started playing, I rushed back to where I was seated. The first song cringed my heart.

CRAZY FOR YOU.

That started the whole thing for me.

I had already made agreements with guy friends that Id dance with them, but I only ended up dancing with 3 guys.

And it turned out that. . . they were enough to make my night.

I was. . .asking for more.

BITIN. Sobrang bitin ng 4 hours. It all happened so fast. Before I knew it, it was already ending. And so. . . I was asking for more.

I was crazy. . . for a night.

I did things I never imagined myself doing. . .ever. I went beyond my normal goodie-goodie self and decided to make that night something Id really remember forever. At first, I thought we would end up playing Monopoly the whole night –or should I say, morning- I actually think our guy friends were sort of watching over us as we were walking through Greenbelt. We entered these bars, and believe me, it was actually a first for me to see people that crazy. We were about to lose hope, but it must have been a blessing in disguise for we crossed paths with 2 guys who saved our after-prom.

We ended up going to V Bar? Basta. That bar. Lol. I was really, really, really feeling guilty at first. It felt as if I was committing a grave sin. Really. But I think my inner Ariean –or Arian- crawled out of its den last night. I was braver than ever. Haha. I swear. I felt free. And I felt secure. AND I had fun. Lots of it. Thanks to the people I was with for those few bittersweet hours.

TO BE CONTINUED. . .

=D