Song playing in the background: Wonderwall by Oasis ;)

Its been a few days since I last wrote anything here
I haven’t been writing in my own journal either.
I was either too tired. . .too bored…too pissed. . . too happy. . .or too busy.
Now would probably be the appropriate time for me to post something here. . .coz Im actually tired-bored-pissed-happy-busy all at the same time.
Possible?
To me it is.
Add to that the feelings of confusion and anticipation.

Ive always contradicted myself.

For example, I am oftentimes the one people go to for advice. But then, when Im the one whos faced with a problem, I fail to let my psycho-analytic abilites work. More often than not, I am at a loss for words when I talk to myself. There are nights when I feel this need to just intentionally bump my head onto the wall to let the answer just pop in my head. But, too bad for me, all I get from doing that is a nauseating pain in the brain. . .so I wouldnt advice that to someone whos in dire need of answers. . .

Like me.

Song: Mata – Mojofly

Random thoughts and rantings:

- I love opm. Not the otso-otso kind of opm. But the rivermaya kind of opm. =)

- My head is aching again. I hate our bus. We pay P5000+ every month, and I still get headaches from the lousy non-existent airconditioner, the uncomfortable front seat, and the overly-exposing window. Geez.

- Im CHEAP. Yes I am. My friends once teased me about being –high in demand, and low in price- Lol. But this time, by cheap, I mean. . . im easy to please. Obviously, my simple joys are exactly what they are. Simple. =)

- I love my brothers. I wouldn’t trade them for anyone else. =D -. . .but maybe Ill consider adopting Celines kuya or Ferdis. . .or rather, Ryans younger brother. Lol.-

- Ive been eating like crazy for the past 2 weeks. So much for looking s-e-x-y during the prom. Wehe.

- im limiting myself to a maximum of 30 minutes of chatting-time. =P

- I slept at 12 oclock last night. . . and the other night. . .and the night before that. . . in short, I NEED SLEEP! =o

- I hate this week. LONG TESTS AND QUIZZES pare. Have mercy. . .

- Not all couples are freakishly annoying. PDA isnt that bad after all. As long as the affection stays cute and innocent. Hehe. Like one couple I know. . . who still refuse to admit that theyre a couple. But I guess thats whats best for them. I mean, its working right? So theres no need for them to add more pressure. Nevertheless, Im glad you guys found each other. . .at last. ;)

- I know someone whos totally IN LIKE with someone else. =)) Its suuuuper obvious, but she refuses to admit it. The mere fact that she blushes everytime I tease her about it is an indication that she really likes him. Hehe. Now Ive got proof that opposites do attract. Who knows? Maybe hes long been eyeing you too. =P

- Pre-valentines fever is on. Eeeek. . .

- Oh. . . cool. I just typed –eeek- which implies that some of my cynical friends have rubbed off some of their cynicism ? on me. Hehe.

- Im not mushy.

- Im not a cynic.

- Im just being a realist. =)

Song: Bad Day – Fuel

Bad Day.
No, I didnt have a bad day.
But. . .

Never mind.

If I continue that thought, Id be letting you in my deepest, darkest secret.
Uh, maybe not the deepest and darkest. . .
But its a secret thats no longer a secret.
Coz, unluckily for me, he found out about it. . .
And I confirmed it with him.

So much for keeping it a secret.
But still. . .
It shall remain a secret.
Coz –we- can never be.

That adds to the confusion all the more. =o

Song: This is the last time – Keane – Hopes and Fears

This is the last time. . .

. . .that ill regret.
The whatcouldhavebeens and the whatmighthavebeens. . .
Ill just let things unfold as they come near me.
I wont rush.

This time I wont. . .

Ill let them wait.

If theyre good enough. . .if they deserve it. . . theyll wait.

If they don’t. . . then its not meant to be.

Too bad for them. . .

. . . and probably, for me too.

- so easy to fall for. . . so easy to get over. . .-

this is probably how they saw me.
Well, thats how I see myself now at the least.

They trip.
They fall.
They fall hard.

. . .right under my nose.
And I am dragged under with them.

But then. . .

after a few cuts and bruises,
a few tears and sobs,
a few disappointments and hurts. . .
a few walls and hurdles. . .

they give up and turn back.

They either just turn tail or run amok.
But either way. . . they run. . .away from me.

They hold their tongue about it.
And thats what sucks.
Big time.

Just when I start meeting them in the eye. . .
Thats when they decide to look away.

This would be a cock and bull story if I say that I dont get bruised in the process.
But what can I do?
Theyll leave that mark in me.
And too bad for them. . .
Coz that mark shall forever remain in me.

WHAT THE HECK AM I SAYING?
Am I pathetic or what?
Hehe.

Wala lang.

Its just that. . .

I realized a lot of things.

And I hope they did too. . .

And if youre willing to wait. . .
Youre not alone. Coz I too have long been waiting.

=))

-okay, anyone can slap me now. Lol. -

Countdown:

1 day – till the 3^rd fitting of my dress

1 day – till Annas birthday

2 days – till I actually get my dress

4 days – TILL THE PROM!!!!!!!! =O

6 days – till dooms day. Hahaha. . .

10 days – till Kens birthday

13 days – till Niños birthday

20 days – till Awies birthday

1 month – till Danielles birthday

1 month and 21 days? – till MY 17^th birthday =D