Little did she know that with every utterance of sorry, every squirming encounter, every awkward pause, every graceless effort to evade, every attempt to disappear, every shot at turning numb, every word choked on, every surge of tears, and every attempt to declare a passing goodbye…another heart is silently whimpering, trying to beat steadfastly, with little room for a lull.

Content is of great importance, but we must not underrate the value of continually wanting more. When you choose to keep on coming back to your preferred place of refuge, without hesitation or doubt that it is where you want to be, that’s being content. Perhaps the bravery you fall back on is a mere symptom of the very contentment you wish to make yourself think of and eventually believe. But not too far from this, is the itch that refuses to stand still. It is that foolishly existent itch that makes you crave for more, more, and even more.

However, one must know that the very things that can satisfy this craving cannot be made – you find them. It is not unusual for us to try to look for answers thinking that once they are found, we can finally have something to rest our heads on. Hoping against all hope, we sometimes search too hard for things that are already right in front of us. We knock the halos off our heads in the course of running after the carrot being lured to the hungry rabbits that we all become. Crying wolf to oneself by constantly conditioning the fumbling mind heightens the excitement that comes with finding the anticipated, and the unexpected, and the unknown.

But the truth remains that, more often than not, this search is done in vain. The ever-so-persistent failures and letdowns are not too hard to recognize once you find yourself back in your own solitary place of refuge. Nevertheless, the want for more and the desire for better things remain worthy of another attempt. You may have to work on it over and over again, but if you’re brave enough to satisfy that undying itch, you’re still going to damn well try.

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Pardon the lack of coherence and/or sense. I woke up at an ungodly hour and just had to do something. Wehehe.

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Have a safe trip and fun stay in Korea, Tanya!
We'll super duper miss you! :*