Saturday, June 18, 2005


Omg.
OH NO.

I have to keep in mind that whatever I write here can be read by anyone, anytime, anywhere. Last night, I was stupid enough to forget that.

I have to stop ranting and raving here coz more often than not, our outburst of emotion gets the best of us. Last night, I was brainless enough to overlook that.

I have to stop not-naming names coz it seems that its even worse than actually including real people in your journals. Last night, I was imprudent enough to forget that people do think and assume.

I have to stop thinking that I can always help and reprimand people I care for coz I always end up on the wrong, risky, ledge. Last night, I was too overwhelmed to even think that.

I have to put my head back where its supposed to be coz others may misunderstand and it would have to be my fault. Last night, I was too confused and sick to even remember to put my cap back on.

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Im sorry if my entry was too vague and and unclear.
Im sorry if I ended up hurting your feelings.
Im sorry for being stupid.
Im just really really really really sorry.

I really was talking about someone else.
I thought that being vague was the way to go, but obviously, that got me in trouble that I didnt even realize I was in.
I didnt want her (my cousin, the person I was really pertaining to) to know how I was madly concerned for her and for her family, but I didnt think it would be at the expense of unintentionally hurting another good friend.
This is one mix-up Id never want to happen again.
From now on, I dare not bellow my infuriating emotions here.

I do think and know that you are smart enough to overcome that.
I do think and know that you care about yourself and your friends as well.
I do think and know that youre a great person and you deserve everything that you have right now.

I actually didnt think of it in any other way. I only realized that it wasnt only germane to the actual person I was talking to when someone texted me and told me about it.
It was stupid of me, I know.

Im just really sorry. I really didnt mean to hurt anyone. Especially you.=O
(Ill try to explain once we get to talk. Hope youre not mad. =O waaah.)

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I just really had to let it out last night coz I got to talk to her (my cousin's) boyfriend the other day. That got me all upset coz I found out that she was lying to her friends and family the whole time. She often reads my blog too, so I didnt opt to include her name and chose to refer to her as just a "friend."

Im really glad to know that youve changed already, and I admire you for that.
Thats just what I really want to happen to my cousin, and I now plan to do that without the use of writing it down for the whole world to read.

For now, Id just hanker after her understanding and your forgiveness. =O

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Waaah.

My parents are off to my cousin's wedding. Di ako makakasama!
(Double) waaah.
Im still sick, and it seems like Im not getting better.
Add to that the trouble I got into, I can see the need for more Paracetamol, air-conditioning, citrus fruits, and prayers.

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On a lighter note...

Tomorrow is Rizal's birthday.
And Father's Day (tama ba?)

Belated Happy Birthday to my brother, Deni!
Happy Father's Day to all your Dads! :)

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- n|x - was loved at 12:50 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


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