I just realized that Mother's Day is coming up.

I dont exactly have money to buy flowers or a gift certificate for my Mom, but then again those are things she wouldnt enjoy as much as other women would. You see, she finds pleasure and contentment in the simplest things (I get that from her). And her generosity is just so admirable that it was also from her that I learned how to give and to receive gracefully.

I know most teenagers would swear that they wouldnt turn into their parents. But just as much as we can hate them like there's no tomorrow, we always come back to them. And just as much as they get so tired of dealing with us, they always welcome us back.

Last Tuesday, I went with my Mom to her office to take this scholarship test that they offer. Not that we cant afford the measly tuition in UP, but she told me that she just wanted me to try it.

That's how she's always been to me. She has pushed me to try things I would have been too lazy or to unsure to do. She made me believe in myself when even I had no faith left. She's never told me any of that of course, (except maybe in the Palanca letters), but I always have sensed her belief in me. And that was what has always pushed me to not settle for mediocrity and do my very best to make my parents proud.

On that day that we spent together, I got to share a lot with the woman I have always lived with but never really got to know. Over lunch, she discussed the career path she envisioned for me. The course Im taking in UP was her suggestion really. Before Senior year, I still had no idea what I wanted to be and what I wanted to do with my life. But after having had countless nights of college discourses with my Mom, I knew it was the best choice. I had very little faith in myself before that though. I knew I did fairly well in High School having had high grades all throughout, but I didnt think I had an actual chance at getting the (what some would call) elite course that she wanted for me. I feared letting her down.

My bud always believed in me too. We even made a bet about it (Ice Monster ko Cao, haha!). Aside from my Mom and my best friends, he's another person who knows me better than myself. And they all knew I could do it, and luckily, turns out they were all right.

From college to dieting to impregnated teens to buying a car - we jumped from topic to topic - things we never really discussed by ourselves. That date with her led on to deeper things like how she warned me about falling in love and even fate. We joked about how she ended up marrying my Dad even though he had no hint of chivalry or mush in him. She told me that when they met each other back when they were taking their MBAs, my Dad would always tease her and make snide comments. She would have never thought of marrying him because he was far from being her ideal man, she told me. But lo and behold, even before my Dad took his oath to be a lawyer, they got married and had me. And my Dad turned out to be a better man than she ever thought he was.

"Ganon yata yung destiny eh...fate will choose for you, " she said.

That I learned from her and so much more.

As much as Id like to grant her a lifetime supply of money, or clothes, or make-up - I knew even those wouldnt be fully appreciated. All Ive got is myself and what she has given me - and that is exactly what I intend to give back. Perhaps, even more.

***
I am making the biggest sacrifice of my summer life so far: giving up Chocnut. :(
I will dearly miss the momentary satisfaction it has always given me. I have to put my health and out-of-shape body first before my craving. Haha!

Oh, and Raffy, Bea, Gab, and Justin did pick me up yesterday. We even got to eat at Ho Chai Lai (a Chinese Restaurant near where I live) for lunch! Haha! It was weird having Alabang-ers/BF-people with me then. They realized how far away I live and understood why I had problems with transpo and stuff. It was fun though. And I also got to learn the dance for Bea's debut in a day! :)

***
Its my favorite song alright. Diba Panops?:P I know Ive got a lot of favorites in my list, but this one has got to be in the top 10. Ive always liked the old Rivermaya songs better, but this one stood out in their Greatest Hits 2006 album. Too bad they released it. That only means the track's heading for jadedness. I guess its a song too nice to be selfishly kept unheard.

I cant exactly relate to the somebody owns you now part. But Im sure a lot of people can.