Friday, June 02, 2006


oh my inner child
I know my inner child is happy because...
I still enjoy melting M&Ms in my mouth
I still have my daily dose of cartoons and animation
I still drink milk before I sleep
I still shout "wheeee!" whenever I am overly hyper
I still love shiny and colorful things
I still daydream and make-believe
I still enjoy tight hugs and endless tickling
I still feel kilig whenever I encounter my crush
I still want a dog and balloons
I still stare at the sky at night and wait for shooting stars
I still secretly long for praises and compliments
I still frequently indulge in chocolates and sodas
I still believe in happy endings

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It isnt hard to admit that I still have my inner child in tact. The childlike aspect of my personal psyche has always been evident to the people closest to me. Even though I am a big Ate to many, I never fail to revel in play and simple fun.

Playing games for hours, singing songs in the shower, watching Disney movies, and thinking of things I used to enjoy as a child have helped me overcome the complexity that growing up has brought. During times when my sanity only hangs by a thread, just thinking of that "secret garden" I used to play in, or my favorite doll, Jennifer, brings it back together with all the carefree memories of my childhood.

Most of my childhood experiences have also come to form who I am today. My fears, strengths, hesitations, confidence and even the things I love now all root from my past. Take for instance my fondness for writing. I was never the type who'd confront my frustrations by talking to other people, so as a form of release, I ended up grabbing a pen and a piece of paper instead to relay my emotions. My friends also know me as the one who tends to fancy mawkishness and tear-worthy mush - that originates from my longing, or lack thereof, of affection from my father. And there's also my inclination to find joy in the smallest and simplest things. That, on the contrary, was emanated from my ability to make the most of what I had.

Its those little BIG things from that past that still continue to affect the way I think and act until today. And although I dont get to draw big yellow suns, white fluffy clouds, and pretty red flowers anymore, I can always look back and know that it is still very rewarding to feel special, wanted, and loved.

I know that I am not alone when I say that Id give anything to be a kid again. Its almost surreal to think that most of my friends are in college already, and that I too will soon be dodging boring professors, doing tons of research, and commuting along busy streets. But just as all the fuss of being a full-pledged legal college student hits me, Ill always remember to enjoy reading a storybook, find warmth in hugging a teddy bear, celebrate birthdays and Christmas, and just enjoy the sense of wonder my inner child brings.
- n|x - was loved at 7:47 AM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


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