Wednesday, March 14, 2007


Crime and Passion
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I woke up with the words "crime" and "prisons" smooching me on the face this morning.
I had fallen asleep while drowning in Social Science concepts, and yet I dont feel the least bit near my Professor's crazed brilliance.

My supposed "cameo appearance" in my debut film (aka Monica's production for their Broad Comm class) was also postponed, so I would have to put off being the next Eva Longoria for now. Zany, I know.

I then had a sudden craving for happifiers, so I decided to walk under the scorching sun all the way to Cello's and indulge in delectable pieces of heaven. Overwhelmed by the saccharine overload, I walked back to Starbucks to make use of my 100-peso GC which I myself previously bought for academic reasons.

With jazz music playing in the background, I so leisurely sipped from my usual Choco Chip Frap and strategized my line of attack against the enemy, that is Calculus. Two men, one stout like Santa and the other feeble-looking like McDonald's, were on the table to my left, while a group of school girls were on the corner to my right. Some were talking about boys and the others were discussing a play, but I was too preoccupied with how I found natural logarithm so unnatural when I had previously felt it destined for me (as it spelled my initials backwards) to even rudely eavesdrop.

An hour passed with my nose still stuck to the yellow pad filled with what seemed to me like half of the letters of the alphabet jumbled to make my life more challenging. After exhausting my cool pen of its red, green, blue, and black inks, I finally decided to go back to my dorm and go on with my battle against boredom.

After a couple of hours more of critical brain-draining, the interruption of two gay guys talking about their youd-never-imagine-how-colorful love lives right in front of me signalled the end of my day as a nerd. Never mind the fact that these two true-blue members of the federasyon seemed to have outdone me in the field of making landi the cute chinito guys. I was content with the serenity I had been feeling the whole day as I went through it alone. It surprises me now how I was able to stick to the plans I had made and got them done - all by myself.

It wasnt just the lone walk along the Katipunan stretch or the isolated stay in the coffee shop that made me find this day worthy of being noted. More than that was the sense of complete independence and freedom that I enjoyed without having anything or anyone to be attached to. If the time had been a few years back, I would have remained in solitary confinement and daydreamed with my eyes wide open. But today, it was in being alone that I found unforeseen and genuine contentment.

Commitment was very tempting - once. I am, after all, the queen of urong-sulong, trial and error, laban or bawi. As much as I hate to admit it, I think I still am the epitome of kalabuan. Those who might have wanted to share my Choco Chip Frap with me in the past have their own ladies to escort now. But in spite of everything, Ive still got my eyes peeled. The rest of my noteworthy days are yet to be written, so while Im at it, I shall be on the lookout for potential replacements for the "crime" and "prisons" that had been kissing me throughout the night.

- n|x - was loved at 10:39 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


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