Update.

Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.

Madness takes its toll.

Please have exact change.

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

Dain bramaged.

Reality is for people who lack imagination.

Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.

The worst thing about censorship is .

Paranoia: A healthy understanding of the nature of the universe.

AMAZING BUT TRUE

There is so much sand in Northern Africa, that if we spread it out, it would completely cover the Sahara Desert.

Puns are bad, but poetry is verse.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger.

Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

Thesaurus: ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary

Heard the one about the dyslexic devil worshiper?He sold his soul to Santa.

(Sign on a bathroom door)"We aim to please, you aim too please"

Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes. <--waha

Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize youhaven't fallen asleep yet.

Okay, okay, I take it back! UnScrew you!

Macho Law forbids me from admitting I'm wrong. <--typical

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep

"Common sense is not so common." -- Voltaire

Of all the people I've met you're certainly one of them. <-weh?

Are you interested in making $$$$ fast? Here's an incrediblysimple way to do it, and there is nothing to buy, no investmentto make, no money to lose! Try it now!

Follow this simple procedure:

1) Hold down the shift key.

2) Hit the 4 key four times.

It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if youmean it is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers.It isn't her's. It isn't our's either. It's ours, andlikewise yours and theirs. -- Oxford University Press, Edpress News

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling

by Mark Twain

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be droppedto be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longerbe part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retainedwould be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take thesame konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with"i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iearwith Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thiridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindzov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wudhev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

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