Friday, December 31, 2004



SMALLVILLE SOUNDTRACK w. the love of my life on the cover. Lol. :x Posted by Hello
- n|x - was loved at 12:02 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~



Smallville Soundtrack
Im a fan of Smallville.
Im love Tom Welling.
Im a supergurl-wannabe.
I wanna be with superman.

Nyahaha..Ang labo. Dont mind that. :D
Anyway, I was watching a replay of an episode of Smallville last night. Though I think I've watched that episode for like the third time already, it was still definitely worth watching. ;)
It was this episode wherein Clark asked Chloe to be his date to this dance (remided me of the prom Ö). Lana was also saying goodbye to her then boyfriend, Whitney. But the "main event" here would be the storm, or rather the twisters/tornadoes. I shall not spill any more details, but here's the catch. Chloe's world was turned around when Clark finally asked her to that dance. Being the best friend and all (but we all know she fell for Clark..), being with Clark that night was something big for her and I think Clark even promised Chloe that this time, he wouldn't leave her. But then, when the twisters came about, Lana was on the verge of facing great danger, so at the last minute, Clark, of course, left Chloe at the dance and sped off to save Lana. :(
I know I'm not much of a storyteller, but I hope you got how the story went. I couldn't help but feel sorry for Chloe. :( Haay..

Anyway, enough of the mushy and sad stuff. To those who are looking for songs they can download, try these on for size. It's the tv series' soundtrack. I love most of the songs in it, and I think it's one hell of a compilation. Too bad, I don't have a cd with these songs yet *ahem*ahem* Lol..But anyway, here they are:

Artist - Song
Bruce Hornsby - The Way It Is
Eagle-Eye Cherry-Long Way Around
Stereoblis - Eight Half Letters
Embrace - Wonder
The Calling - Unstoppable
Fear the Clown - Inside The Memories
Jude - Everything I Own
Capitol Eye -Let's Go
Stereophonics- Maybe
Lifehouse-Everything
Remy Zero - Save Me (Smallville Theme Song)
Papa Roach - Last Resort
Weezer - Island In The Sun
Cake - Love You Madly
Better Than Ezra - I Do
Aeon Spoke - Damaged
Turin Brakes -Underdog (Save Me)
The Calling-Wherever You Will Go
Zed Silencer - Renegade Fighter
Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood
Sum 41 - Motivation
Fuel - Bad Day
Third Eye Blind - Never Let You Go
Binocular - You


**Smallville site, click here

**...it speaks for me...Ö
(From "Save Me" by Remy Zero)

Somebody save me
Let your waters break right through
Somebody save me
I don't care how you do it
Just save, save
Come on
I've been waiting for you


- n|x - was loved at 11:19 AM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Wednesday, December 29, 2004


This is the Last Time
**Here's a song by one of my favorite-est bands, Keane. Unfortunately, I dont have their album yet (Hopes & Fears) so kung sino man dyan may utang pa saking Christmas gift *ahem*ahem* you'll know what to give. Haha! Just Kidding. :D** 

This is the last time

That I will say these words

I remember the first time

The first of many lies

Sweep it into the corner

Or hide it under the bed

Say these things they go away

But they never do

Something I wasn't sure of

But I was in the middle of

Something I forget now

But I've seen too little of



The last time

You fall on me for anything you like

Your one last line

You fall on me for anything you like

And years make everything alright

You fall on me for anything you like

And I no I don't mind



This is the last time

That I will show my face

One last tender lie

And then I'm out of this place

So tread it into the carpet

Or hide it under the stairs

Say that some things never die

Well I tried and I tried



Something I wasn't sure of

But I was in the middle of

Something I forget now

But I've seen too little of



The last time

You fall on me for anything you like

Your one last line

You fall on me for anything you like

And years make everything alright

You fall on me for anything you like

And I no I don't mind



The last time

You fall on me for anything you like

Your one last line

You fall on me for anything you like

And years make everything alright

You fall on me for anything you like

And I know I don't mind

- n|x - was loved at 8:24 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~



The Sweetest Thing

**This story made me go “awwwww..” for approximately 10 seconds, so I knew I just had to publish it. I know Valentine’s Day is still out of sight, and I know it’s a day when you either anticipate a bouquet of roses or you go hiding behind rose bushes. But anyhow, here it is:

A Love Story

I thought I’d be having the same old boring Valentine’s Day I normally have every year. I wasn’t expecting anything from anyone, but aearly that day in school, I was surprised to see a single rose resting on top of my cahir. It came with a folded piece of paper with my name on it. One part of a story was written on it, but I had no idea who wrote it because tehe paper was unsigned. The story was about a boy who longed to be an angel, so he went to a genie to wish for it. The genie then asked him why…and the story just ended there. After recess, I got the second part of the story through my teacher who announced to the entire class that he was asked to give me a rose. The second rose came with the second part of the story where the boy answered the genie’s question. The boy wanted to become a guardian angel because he wanted to guard the world. The genie then asked him why he wanted to guard the world…And the story ended there. During lunch break, I finally discovered that the roses were from a good guy friend of mine. How? He surprised me with the third rose and the last part of the story which read: “And the boy said to the genie, “Because Jaymee is the world to me.” – Jaymee, 16
- n|x - was loved at 7:30 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~




bulong vid! :D Posted by Hello
- n|x - was loved at 3:40 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~




same ground pix!  Posted by Hello
- n|x - was loved at 3:39 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~



Kitchie Nadal’s videos!!!

Waaaaaaaah! Kitchie Nadal shot her “Same Ground” and “Bulong” videos already! Can’t wait for their release!

Below are some stills from the “Same Ground” video! Waaah! I love that song! And I posilutely, absotively will love this video! I wanna be a princess! Haha! You can slap me now. =P

**Here's what the director of the videos had to say:

Anyhoo below are some stills of my Same Ground video. It's going really slowly but as you can see a lot of post work is involved. What better way to present isolation than a castle in the sky... Hurray to independent productions...

Monday, December 06, 2004
I just shot 2 Kitchie Nadal videos...Same Ground & Bulong. Same Ground is a slight fantasy peice while Bulong is a straight up performance. Kitchie had a really small budget but I like Same Ground so much that I pretty much funded evrything. I had two sets built & tons of postwork will go into this. Bad thing was Kitchie & her crew were late and I was so angry but had to hold it in because if I got mad at them it would only ruin her perfomance & I'd end up with a bad video. I calmly expressed my disapointment just so theyd know that it was really no joke to be late specially for that shoot. I ended up spending a whole lot more because of overtime(13k!!!!!). People...sigh. It's at times like that when I feel so proffesional. It was my initiative to do an out of budget video so I also have myself to blame for the hassle.... Kitchie & crew apologized for their lateness so all is okay anyhoo. Haaaaay I just want to make a nice video....

I'm 24 years old. My full name is Avid Liongoren. I direct comercials & music videos for a living. <-he’s the director of the vids, check his site out, I think he’s one weird but cool guy.


- n|x - was loved at 3:28 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~



Nothing to write about...
The title says obviously contradicts what I’m doing now. Actually, it should say “Nothing SANE to write about”. My Christmas break has been exactly what it’s supposed to be. I did celebrate Christmas, and well, I really am on a break…a really long one that is. I haven’t been doing anything for the past few days. And my life has been like this for years. No need to pity me or whatever. Most people would find the phrase “not doing anything” as something negative, baduy, pathetic, or whatever. Pero sanayan lang ‘to eh. It’s not that I’ve got nothing else better to do. I mean I’m not exactly “not doing anything”, I just prefer to stay at home and do stuff that I don’t usually get to do when I’m busy with school or some other things.

What bored people do… (bored people = me)
  • Doodle…
  • Draw…
  • Sing… (yes, I do sometimes just break out into a song…haha)
  • Listen to the radio…(I’ve memorized most of the station jingles, like “Alam mo na yan! WRR 101.9 For Life!” wahahah..)
  • Surf the net… (I’ve found the craziest sites already)
  • Play basketball with my brother… (I played with my 8-year-old brother, and he beat me…by a point. The catch here is, I can perfectly reach the net, e syempre, ate e, so I let him win…>:) )
  • Re-organize the books in the shelf… (pag bored na talaga..)
  • Clean my room… (It’s amazing how much dust accumulates under my bed in one night)
  • Watch tv… (I’ve become a fan of noontime shows and telenovelas…not!)
  • Read books… (I’ve started reading about 6 books…and I haven’t finished one yet. Haha.. I just felt like reading the first few pages :p )
  • Re-read my old diaries… (Its quite amusing to realize how pathetic I was when I was younger…and the handwriting, my goodness…lol)
  • EAT! (I know…tataba na naman ako nito! Actually, di naman ako bumibigat eh! My weight has always been playing around 99-105 lbs! Nasa damit lang yan noh! Wahaha..)
  • Cook… (I’ve perfected the art of…FRYING! Rofl.. But hey, I get to cook other dishes to you know, but only with the help of our chef…my dad! :p )
  • Read the encyclopedia… (call me a nerd, but the encyclopedia amazes me…Lol. My dad has read every page of all the encyclopedias that we have, so maybe I can do that too… ASA! Hahaha..)
  • Watch Discovery Channel/National Geographic/Animal Planet… (If I were to be reincarnated as a citizen of some other first-world country, I’d choose a profession related to Nature. I have this knack for taking care of plants and stuff anyway, which if I may add, came from my mom. And I love nature! Someone asked me before what a perfect gimik or date would be for me, and well I told her that I’d rather go mountain climbing/trekking or have fun by the beach or something than visit the malls and eat in a restaurant. I love adventures! That’s the Aries in me creeping out, btw. And I’m game for anything…except eating bugs and eeky things, but if it’s already a matter of life a death, why not? Lol. Before I die, I want to reach the top of some mountain…with some friends and hmm…some “friend” hahaha..)
  • Play PS2 with my brothers! (Need for Speed Underground 2, Smackdown vs Raw, NBA Live 2005, The Sims Bustin’ Out, Resident Evil Outbreak… Yep, I play them all. Lol. I haven’t quite perfected the wrestling moves though, but I’m learning. Haha. I may look like “Maria Clara” to most people, but once I’m challenged to a game or two by a member of the opposite sex, I’m more than game! =p )
  • Paint… (If you asked me to draw a horse, you’ll end up seeing a drawing of a distorted cow. That’s how bad I am at drawing figures of animals and people and stuff. But if you asked me to draw a landscape or design something, I think I can pull it off somehow. I could say that I’m not exactly sufferign from art-deficiency. Lol. I think I can paint well. Believe it or not, I once attended art classes! Yung mga nagtuturo nga samin, yung mga nagdesign ng pera natin eh…yes, the ones who designed our peso bills, coz I took my art classes in my mom’s office, Central Bank of the Phils/Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas. But anyway, obviously, those art classes were of no use to me. Haha..Actually, meron din naman. You should see the drawings, sketches, and paintings, I made then. They actually looked like the objects/sceneries they asked us to draw. So maybe I was an artist once in my life…haha.)
  • Think…think…and oh, think some more. (When you’ve got nothing better to do in your life, why not just think? According to Gilbert Ryle, you’re not actually doing anything if you’re just thinking. There’s nothing going on inside your mind and unless you perform an intelligent act, you’re not actually thinking. Did I get that right? Lol. I did better in my previous Philo essays, haha, but anyway, this break has given me lots of time to think. I’ve thought about all sorts of stuff. From the economy of the Philippines to why ants were created small. Here are some of the random thoughts I’ve had: if aliens exist, what makes the color purple purple, how God chose my parents to be my parents, reincarnation, karma, how Usher got those ooh-la-la abs, haha, how much I’ve grown, the proM!, graduation, my birthday, being 16, being 17, my friends in school, my friends who don’t study in Zobel, ghosts, blog templates, boys, gays, relationships, family, my grades!!, Ms. Rosetti Sison, elves, fairies, Sex and the City, my brothers, more guys…and a whole lot more. Hehe, =P )
Well, I think that’s about it. I guess I do some pretty interesting stuff too, huh? Haha. Nah, but I am content with whatever I have and whatever I am, so it’s not all that bad. :D

- n|x - was loved at 11:49 AM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Monday, December 27, 2004


my kreesmas.
When the hands of the clock both pointed up towards the number 12, that was the only time it really hit me. “Oh, Christmas na pala..” I blurted out as I grabbed a plate of blueberry cheesecake (1 maliit na slice lang kinain ko, but believe me, it was very very tempting, hehe). We arrived at my tita’s house at around 2 to 3 o clock I think. We even got to visit this “talipapa” (I asked my Tita what “talipapa” means and she said na parang maliit na palengke daw) in one of the barrios in Batangas where they sell pork and other stuff at cheaper prices. Nagulat nga ako nung may nakita akong lalaki na may kargang isang buong baboy na open yung buong katawan! It was a very interesting sight actually. I wasn’t exactly grossed out (okay, so maybe I was just a little sickening at first..), naaliw pa nga ako eh. The “talipapa” was cleaner than the other palengkes I know, and the scene wasn’t new to me, but to see a whole pig (whole meaning the outer parts of the pig were still complete but the insides were already taken out) being carried like a backpack by a shirtless mama (let’s see if you pronounced that right)? There really is a first time for everything. 

Anyway, my Christmas wasn’t all about pigs and “talipapas”. It was also filled with gifts (though I did receive less gifts this year, crisis eh), food, kids, carols, trips, texts, songs, etc. Di nga lang kasing saya like before, coz when I was a kid, I really REALLY enjoyed Christmas. As early as November, the thought of receving aguinaldos from ninongs and ninangs made me smile then. But now, something’s just really different. Maybe it’s because of all the tragedies we all had to face. The aftermath that the typhoons brought about was just unthinkable. Whenever I watch the evening news and see all those homeless, sick, and suffering people, I just get all irritated. Not because I’m irritated at them (cause that would be heartless), but because it just makes you realize how unfair and fair life can be at the same time. Unfair, coz why do all these people have to suffer? Why them? Why now? I don’t mean to question God or fate or life, but why? Fair, because I guess that’s how God planned things to be. We may never know why exactly all these happened. Or actually, we do kind of know. We aren’t blind and we are aware of the unlawful doings of other people. That’s why it’s fair…and unfair at the same time. Those innocent people suffering now, paid for the very high price that other sinful people owed and caused.

Okay, I didn’t make sense, did I? Sorry, tinatamad na ako actually mag-edit at mag-isip, so never mind all the stuff I blabbed about. I’m sure some of you feel the same way anyway.

Back to my Christmas (and I’ll make this as short as possible)
We all attended the 10 o’clock mass on Christmas eve. It was funny actually, coz we arrived late (madami kasi kami, tapos madami pang kids, so nagkagulo pa muna bago pa kami nakaalis ng bahay, hehe) and a lot of things happened inside the Church. Una, di pa kami sama-sama nakaupo sa pews kasi my other titos and titas arrived a few minutes ahead of us, so I had to text my other cousins and ask them where they were seated. After that, we had to go up to the “second floor” of the Church and we all met there. But then, we all couldn’t sit on the same pews coz other people were already there, so we had to sit wherever there was free “pwet-space” (that’s what my little cousin call it, hehe). And then, di pa ako maka-concentrate dun sa Mass kasi super init dun sa “second floor”. The windows were opened, the wind was blowing, and ambience outside was really Christmas-y, and it was actually cold outside. But inside the Church, for the reason that it was filled with people, the heat was just disturbing (sentence structure check please, lol, nvm). Tapos natatawa pa ako during the mass coz my little cousin (cute and chubby), was snoring! He was actually snoring while the mass was going on! Haha! Nakasandal siya sa Mom nya tapos her sister even whispered to me, “Hay nako, naglalaway pa ata…” Lol. So whenever I look back to check on my cousins, I couldn’t help but laugh coz I see my cousin sleeping soundly AND snoring. Hehe…

Anyway, enough of that.
So when it was actually December 25 already, I got to send and receive a lot of messages to a lot of people. You know, the usual “Merry Christmas! God Bless!” blah blah messages we all receive. Then we all got to eat and a few minutes after, we got to open our presents. Our Titos and Titas distributed our gifts to everyone tapos matatawa ka na lang sa mga reactions ng mga pinsan ko. I heard some amusing comments like “Ngek! Eto na naman!”, “Oh no, I hate pigs”, “I don’t want this! I want his wrestler!!!”, “Waaah! There’s only P50 in this wallet!!”, “Shirt na naman?”, “Cool! Ang bago nung P100 oh!”. And a whole lot more. Nakaupo lang ako sa may stairs malapit sa Christmas tree the whole time watching people laugh while opening their presents. I was just savoring the scenario of that night. This Christmas wasn’t exceptionally great, but for me, something made it somewhat special. This season something new entered my life but I wont spill all my thoughts here of course. :P But yun lang. Masaya pa rin. And I hope everyone got to fatten their hearts (not their tummies) with memories of joy also. I guess my Christmas wasn’t so bad after all. :D

- n|x - was loved at 6:42 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Sunday, December 26, 2004


My 2005 Love Horoscope. :o
Please don't ask me why I chose to post this eeky topic in my blog. I know it's "eeky" (can't think of any other sensible word for it) but my cousin and I were surfing the net the other day and she kept on trying to look for mushy stuff (perhaps it runs in the family... lol) She told me that if she didn't see this posted in my blog, she'd take back the cute top she gave me for Christmas (but of course I knew she was just kidding...i think, hehe) But anyway, here it is. I was actually intrigued by the stuff written here, tingnan na lang natin kung magkatotoo nga :p

ARIES 2005 Love Horoscope

Your personal New Year brings a renewed sense of purpose and lots of high energy after a minor bump on the 13th. Take all those sparks and translate them directly into romance around January 15th. Couples make interesting new sparks now, while singletons can find someone to warm their heart for the rest of the winter. Your perseverance in the love department pays off in a lovely way right around Valentine's Day, with something (or is it someone?) you've longed for landing right in your lap.

A completely stellar weekend's in store for you beginning March 11th, so plan hot dates with new prospects or weekend getaways with your sweetheart. Relationships you begin or reinvest in now have especially high chances of blooming amazingly this spring. But between March 19th and April 12th, Mercury's retrograde in your very own sign, meaning (like everyone else) you'll need to watch your tongue (and email and text messages) with love interests. But what's it mean especially for you? You'll be afforded an unusual opportunity for introspection -- your true inner self and heartfelt desires are revealed, if you just take the time to look within.

From mid-April and through the summer, you can take your love life pretty much anywhere you want it to go. Be bold and you'll be rewarded. Singles who risk a big romantic move around May 5th or 6th can hardly go wrong, and the coupled up can take their relationship to the next level. If you miss this opportunity, your passionate powers of persuasion are on fire again the weekend of June 10th. July promises singles a rollicking good time, while those romantically entangled will enjoy leading their significant (or not-so-significant) other into all sorts of new adventures. And the hot days of August bring hot romance -- particularly right around the middle of the month.

The falling leaves bring a reevaluation of your romantic path, and that's not at all a bad thing. Mid-September's the right time to either plant deeper emotional roots or pull up and move on; let intuition be your guide. Then someone entirely, spectacularly new can surprise you after October 17th, or you can surprise yourself with fresh inspiration in an existing bond. November's sprinkled with romantic goodies hidden in the burgeoning holiday bustle, and the weekend of December 9th is all about you (and whomever else you choose to include). End the year with your romantic karma in mind -- what you do from December 24th into 2006 will influence your love life dramatically.

*If you want to check your own love horoscope for 2005, click here and look for the links below "Love Profile" Lol. :D

- n|x - was loved at 6:20 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Friday, December 24, 2004



MERRY CHRSITMAS!! :D God Bless. ;) Posted by Hello
- n|x - was loved at 11:07 AM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Thursday, December 23, 2004


I believe...
2 days to go before Christmas!
Time really does zoom (not fly) by fast, doesn’t it? Parang kelan lang nung excited pa ako silipin yung Christmas sock (not stockings) that my Mom used to hang by our door. Since we don’t have a fireplace, the front door would have to do. And whenever I crossed out the number 24 on the 12th month in my calendar, I’d rush to the green and red sock and check out what Santa gave me.
I can’t remember if I really believed in Santa. Nagtataka lang ako dati kung bakit “Ho ho ho!” yung pagtawa nya, but that’s besides the point. I just eventually found out that it was just my Dad who filled the sock with candies and money and a whole bunch of other stuff every year. My Dad’s equally err..fat and all (hehe, sorry Daddy), but I guess I’d rather have him as my Santa than have some Irish (is Santa Irish? Lol) fat, white-haired, bearded guy in a red fuzzy coat matched with red pants and boots. I have nothing against Santa Clause; in fact, I do love the idea of giving away presents to little boys and girls. Whether they are “naughty” or “nice”, I’m sure old Santa will give them gifts anyways.
A lot of things have changed, and yes, I am much older now. I’ll even be turning 17 three months now (tanda ko na!) My Christmas may not include a sock filled with candies anymore. I also don’t look up at the sky any longer and wonder if flying reindeers would happen to pass by the pollution-filled skies of Manila. But though my whole concept of this merry season has changed, the main idea of this time of year is still etched in my young heart. Santa = God = Christmas = Jesus = Love. And that’s all my mature-slash-often-childlike mind needs to know.

I believe…

I believe in happy endings, but not in happily ever afters.
I believe that Christmas is Jesus’ day.
I believe that aliens exist, but I’d rather not ask how.
I believe that loving isn’t the same without having to get hurt and learn from the fall beforehand.
I used to believe in Santa Clause, but I never believed that he used a small sled to carry all the gifts he had to give.
I believe that sleeping for 1/3 of your life is crazy, but your body needs it, so you’ve got no other choice.
I believe in miracles, but not in magic.
I believe love can be magic, but magic can sometimes just be an illusion.
I believe that everything happens for a reason – even the formation of those unwanted zits.
I believe in “love is lovelier the second time around”, but not in “love at first sight”.
I believe that reality is the best fantasy of all.
I believe that there still are “knights in shining armors”, but they come in jeans and luxury cars nowadays.
I believe in eternity, but cannot quite grasp how something can be a “nothingness”.
I believe that anyone can change their bad ways coz no one was born evil.
I believe that our country can still stand up from the rut it is currently in.
I believe that we’re all meant to be great.
I believe in the power of dreams.
I believe that we’re all psychic in our own ways.
I believe in reincarnation.
I believe in destiny, but not in soulmates. (I think)
I believe that a beautiful person is beautiful inside and out.
I believe that smoking is bad for your health.
I believe that you don’t have to be Britney Spears to shine like a star.
I believe that the moon is prettier when you stare at it for more than a minute. (Try it!)
I believe that it’s okay to be “not sexy”.
I believe that wishes can come true.
I believe that whoever thought of coming up with the Internet, is one genius of a man.
I believe I am beautiful…we all are.
I believe that texting is a good exercise for the thumb.
I believe in change.
I believe that someone out there loves you more than you’ll ever know.

To be continued..:D

Oh, and I also believe that someone’s about to click that “Post a comment” link right about…now. :p

- n|x - was loved at 8:22 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~



HAX
i dont know why it's entitled "Hax", maybe it's because I made this with a pc-addicted boy bud of mine, hehe. But anyway, here's a poem Carlo and I made, and believe it or not, we made it while chatting in YM. See the alternating lines/names? I shall leave it unedited so you can see how the exchange of lines went. When I re-read this last night, I was actually surprised by how profound we sounded here. And I tell you, that rarely happens, right Cao? Lol. Why'd we make this poem? Wala lang. We just felt like it. Hehe. (Oh, and its not addressed to anyone in particular, okie? Ü)So here it is:

caocao: im staring dastardly at my fate
nikki: a thought of oddity dashes through my mind
caocao: and i dont know if im blind
nikki: you drugged me and the effects are irreversible
caocao: and to you i seem invisible
nikki: you have likened me to the wind
caocao: as i closed my eyes
nikki: i drown in your soul
caocao: a glimpse of your thought turns me oblivious
nikki: i leap from this world to yours
caocao: could you show me dear
nikki: your rejection i shall not fear
caocao: whom shall i fear?
nikki: i turn away from the blinding darkness
caocao: deafining silence swallows me
nikki: i hear you shouting in my ear
nikki: you utter words i longed to hear
caocao: for you said i shall not fear
nikki: you come near me i turn cold
caocao: and my hands you hold
nikki: i make a turn and fall
caocao: into this abyss so tall
nikki: losing grip into eternity i crawl
caocao: for my happy thought has taken its toll
nikki: to my left i see my dream's epitome
caocao: the subliminal meaning of my desires
nikki: to my right i take sight of paradise
caocao: i freeze and fall onto my knees
nikki: i lay my inner being upon you
caocao: for my friends are so few
nikki: take a peek into my life's hue
caocao: it makes me feel so untrue
nikki: this is just the half-life
caocao: it feels like a half-pipe
nikki: i dive into your sea of notions
caocao: you become my addiction
nikki: your image is displayed
caocao: you look dismayed
nikki: the trees all swayed...
nikki: as you pass by
caocao: i feel like i want to die
nikki: but you hold on to me
nikki: i never want to let go
caocao: for it is where i find bliss
nikki: its your presence that i miss
caocao: for so long i have not felt
nikki: the emotions that had to heal
caocao: its just one of those things which i never wanted to steal
nikki: but your heart i took from your very being
caocao: engulfed in flames
nikki: i burn in your arms
nikki: and i find my final resting place
caocao: and in it.. i find peace
caocao: *the end*

Voila! :D
- n|x - was loved at 1:51 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~



Grease
“We go together like Ra-ma la-ma la-ma ka ding-a da ding-a dong
Remembered forever as Shoo-bop sha wad-da wad-da yip-pi-ty boom de boom
Chang chang chang-it-ty chang shoo-bop
That’s the way it should be
Wha oooh yeah!”

You’re mistaken if you think those are made-up Chinese sentences which I just happen to feel like typing. It’s actually from a song, and I’m actually singing it right now. Lol. It’s from the movie, Grease, which I just watched on DVD (orig. stop piracy Ü) this morning. For some unknown reason, as I opened my eyes at around 8:45 am, I suddenly had this urge to watch a movie. I scanned through the DVDs inside my parent’s room, and well, I ended up watching one of my favorite-est movies of all time (considering that I’ve only watched less than 20 of them in cinemas Ö pathetic, huh?).

Well, anyway, if you haven’t watched this movie yet, then you’re missing a lot. At first you may think of it as a sissy movie with all the singing and dancing and stuff (add to that the love story involved), but I tell you, you’ll love every scene of it once you hear the songs, and who knows, you just might find yourselves singing the “Dip da-dip da-dip Doo-wop da doo-bee doos” too.

Oh, and believe it or not, our class had this mini-Grease-like performance back in Grade 5. With Ms Duco and Ms Joan as our vivacious choreographers, we danced and sang to some of the songs in the movie. Anna Owe was our “Sandy” and, if I remember right, Hugh Morris was our “Danny”. I think at first our class was hesitant to do all the dancing and stuff, but after some time, I do believe that we actually had fun doing it. The girls had to wear these balloon skirts matched with tied-up blouses (I don’t know how I’m supposed to describe them, but just thing “old school” Ü), and the guys on the other hand, had to wear leather jackets with matching gelled-up (or rather, “Greased”) hairdos. I can still remember it vividly…the girls twirling around with their skirts, the guys shaking their thangs while dancing “Greased Lightning”, the audience loving our performance, and us, enjoying it as well. I actually giggle whenever those memories come crawling back into my head. It was fun being young. And being able to perform looking like that, well, that’s something that I could only do once in this lifetime. And that experience would have to be something that’s going to stay stuck in my memories forever.

Some songs from Grease:
Summer Nights
“ Summer lovin’ Had me a blast
Summer lovin’ Happened so fast
I met a girl crazy for me
Met a boy cute as can be
Summer days drifting away
To uh-oh those summer nights”

Hopelessly Devoted To You
“Guess mine is not the first heart broken
My eyes are not the first to cry
I’m not the first to know, there’s just no getting over you

You know I’m just a fool who’s willing
To sit around and wait for you
But baby can’t you see
There’s nothing else for me to do
I’m hopelessly devoted to you”

You love Grease too? Remember our Grease performance? Wanna borrow the DVD? Lol. Post a comment.Ü

- n|x - was loved at 1:17 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~




Grease! :D Posted by Hello
- n|x - was loved at 12:26 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Wednesday, December 22, 2004



WANTED! For incessant blogging. If found call 911. May be dangerous. Reward: $$$$ Lol. :D Posted by Hello
- n|x - was loved at 8:52 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~




my barkada! (almost complete.) :D Posted by Hello
- n|x - was loved at 8:46 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~




TROPAK! haha.. me, jana, danielle, rox, carlo, & macky! i love these guys. :D Posted by Hello
- n|x - was loved at 8:44 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~




yiheeeeee! cam & john. need i say more? :x Posted by Hello
- n|x - was loved at 8:39 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~




JC Christmas Party (daming food! ang kalat! Lol. oh, and spot the lovebirds! ...no, not me and macky..haha..ung iba dyan. :D)  Posted by Hello
- n|x - was loved at 8:36 PM
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class christmas party 2002! Lol. goodness. :)) Posted by Hello
- n|x - was loved at 5:11 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~



hidden meanings behind pinoy expressions
1. "mwah" means "i love you"
2. "la lang" means "i miss you" or "love kita, di mo alam?"
3. "ok ka lang?" means " ano ka hilo?!?!"
4. "hay nako!" means " seryoso ako"
5. "ingat ka lagi" means "i care for you"
6. "musta na?" means " sino'ng love mo?"
7. "secret" means " ikaw"-> oo ikaw!
8. "ano'ng problema mo?" means " hurt naman ako"
9. "kayo pa rin ba?" means "ako naman"
10. "chick boy ka pala eh!" means " ang kapal mo!!!"
11. "grabe ha!!!" means " selos ako"
12. "saan?" means " sama ako!"
13. "shit!" means "tae!! pinaganda lang"
14. "inaantok na ako" means "wala kang kwentang kausap"
15. "may gagawin pa ako eh" means "maghanap ka ng kausap mo"
16. "bakit naman?" means "alam mo namang ikaw lang"
17. "nakakaaliw ka" means " ang cute mo "
18. "ewan" ! means " oo "
19. "ganon?" means "kapal mo!!"
20. "eh kasi" means "nahihiya ako"
21. "talaga lang ha?" means "naku, bola!!"
22. "basta" means "magtanong ka pa"
23. "busy ka?" means " kausapin mo naman ako
24. "pwede ba" means " mas cute naman ako sa kanya "
25. "may kasabay ka?" means "nood tayo ng sine & kain sa labas"
26. "miss nahulog" means "anong number mo?"
27. "magwiwithdraw pa ako" means "pucha naman, ikaw muna!!"
28. "may barya ka sa 100?" means "pautang muna, sa sweldo na kita babayaran"
29. "kawawa ka naman" means "buti nga... sabi ko sayo eh!"
30. "susunod ako" means "umalis ka na! ang kulit mo eh"
31. "thank you sa gift ha" means "ang cheap mo naman"

Lol.
- n|x - was loved at 4:43 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~




teh gurls! Ü Posted by Hello
- n|x - was loved at 12:57 PM
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tamtam! (jimboy's cute puppy) :p Posted by Hello
- n|x - was loved at 12:52 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~




SI Circle 96! Posted by Hello
- n|x - was loved at 12:38 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~



Mile / Deliverance
Just felt like sharing one of my pathetic...uh..poyms again. hehe. I can't actually relate to it right now, but anyway, here it is:

Mile
12.05.03

You can’t blame me for being a dreamer
For the whole world dreams with me
Dare to think badly of my fantasy
I am living a life of imaginings

A victim of a world full of illusions
Seeing things that aren’t really there
Through the mist that has blinded me
I shall survive in my lair

The tongue of misunderstood feats
Tangled thoughts struggling to unravel
I have come to dig an endless hole
Gamble with life and jump

I have been ready for so long now
But no one dares
To even stop for a while
A love en route for you
Take the path and walk a mile

An unsent message creeps into my mind
I hear your voice from behind
A course full of high risks
I fall into a trance

Distractions let me be
The deafening sound of silence
An eye hidden from beneath
The sharp mouth cut through me

A spectacle of intense passion
I daze into the light
It shines through the darkness
I head for the beautiful sight

I have been raring to search for you
But I stay static
And remain euphoric
I stay here with a smile
Take the path and walk a mile

*I actually dream of turning my poyms (yes, poyms) into songs. But I only know how to play a few chords on the piano (and I think I dont even know how to play the piano anymore) and I dont know how to play the guitar. So if anyone out there is musically talented and is bored out of his/her wits, maybe you can come up with a melody or something. Hehe. La lng. :D *

*Oh, and here's another one of my favorite songs from my now favorite local artist. Ü*

Deliverance
by Kitchie Nadal

Here you are again.
I can feel you breath down my neck.
Whispering his name while whistling those killer melodies.
You give me a face of an angel like you once had.
And I am nothing but a creature of habit running away in circles,

But I was found by gentleman that flew me up high.
Now I see clearly, I’m telling you to let go of me.

Now that I’ve found my way back home, where I belong.
No longer a slave running away in circles
because I’ve been found by this gentleman, who flew me high.

Get out of my head.
Get out of my soul.
Get out my dreams.
Get out of my house.
Get out of my life.

Get out. Get out. Get out. (Repeat)
No longer a slave…

No longer a slave running away in circles
because I’ve been found by this gentleman, who flew me high.

Kitchie Nadal's Official Site
- n|x - was loved at 10:55 AM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~



March.
I was checking out this site when I decided to click on the “birthmonts” link. Since I was born on the month of March (on the 27th to be exact *ahem* :D), let me post my birthmonth here:

March

Basics
Stone: aquamarine, bloodstone (courage and presence of mind) [*yes, I luv d color!*]
flower: jonquil

Characteristics
Attractive personality
Affectionate
Shy and reserved
Secretive
Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic
Loves peace and serenity
Sensitive to others
Loves to serve others
Not easily angered
Trustworthy
Appreciative and returns kindness
Observant and assess others
Revengeful
Loves to dream and fantasize
Loves traveling
Loves attention
Hasty decisions in choosing partners
Loves home decors
Musically talented
Loves special things
Moody

Comment:
Scary. It’s like 99% accurate. I don’t know about the “attractive personality” and the “revengeful” part though. But I think I’d have to agree with our GEM teacher’s motto: “I don’t get mad, I get even!” Lol. I do get my revenge in a way that I just let fate work its "wonders" on that person. Like many people, I too believe in Karma, and like what *sighs* Alicia Keys says in her song Karma, “What goes around, comes around. What goes up must come down. Now who’s crying, desiring to come back to me.”Ü

Oh, and about the “attractive personality” part. Hmm..I guess my personality isn’t that bad right? Lol. I’d rather have people like me for who I really am than have them befriend me just because of other things. So, I guess I’m ok with that characterstic. But I don't want people to think of me as a "feeler" just because I said that. Lol SO can anyone else attest to that? Hehe.

If you know me well enough and would want to agree or disagree with the characteristics, and if you could spare a little amount of your precious time on clicking that “Post a comment” link, please do so, and type something…or anything. Your say would be very much appreciated. Tnx. :D

Oh, and if you want to check out your birthmoths as well, click here.

- n|x - was loved at 10:34 AM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Tuesday, December 21, 2004


Hate letter in perfect english.
[ isa umano itong sulat na napulot daw sa isang bar sa Malat at ngayon ay pinagpapasa-pasahan sa Internet]

Marjie,

I am not surprise or wander why Dennis leave you.
Why?
What reason you can think about but you’re vey fat body. I thought before that Dennis only use me to his toy but sonner and later I’m realize that he really can’t not beared or stomached to be with you anymore because at first, Denis say he could not stand you’re habit of making pakialam all hiis walks (lakad) and always calling to their house what he go home or this or that and then he say he get ashame to met iether in school ir in his family and then asking you to exercise you’re very very very fat body but you hate it thoughth you’re the most prettiest girls he knows about what do you think you are “Beautiful Girl” of Jose Marie Chan even you are beautiful face to your think) you do not have the right to called me whatsoever or else different name one time or the other for the real purposed to insults my personality because I’m never call you names iether in the front of Dennis or in the backs of Dennis, but if you start already to calling me different name, I don’t have any other choice but to call you other different name to like you are a PIG, FAT, OBSESSED, OVERWIGHT, AND UGLY SHAPE girl. Shame to you’re body that is to a BUDING. You can’t not blame Dennis for exchanging you to me because I am the more sexier than you when you look to us in the mirror. I’m repeat again that you are like Ike Lozada when she is a girl

From: THE SEXIEST GIRL OF D.M.

P.S. – You say that I’m the bad breathe but who is Dennis want to kissed. Me or you? You or me? And the final is me.

- n|x - was loved at 5:50 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~



Do you like him or her for the right reasons?
During my stay in Batangas last weekend, I got to chat with my cousin with whom I shared a lot of secrets with. We’re really close soget to talk about a lot of stuff. As we were walking to our lola’s house, she was narrating the things that she and her boyfriend (of a year and a half ) have been together. I was asking her a lot of questions since I knew her boyfriend well, and in fact, I kind of acted like their bridge before. But then she suddenly stopped answering then and threw back some questions at me. I just laughed some of them off since I didn’t want to spill them yet, but then, as we were nearing our destination (which was my lola’s house), she asked me a question that no one’s ever asked me before: “Bakit, ready ka na ba magkaboyfriend?” I stopped right in the middle of the road and raised my eyebrows at her. Then in an instant, due to my involuntary response neurons, I replied, “Malay ko!” And we just giggled some more.
That question actually made me think. How do you know if you’re ready? Do you just know? How can you determine if it’s real or not? How can you be ready?
I then remembered having read this article in Candy mag. It’s about knowing the symptoms if you’re really in love/like with a person or not. If you want to know if you’re ready or not (too) then read on and find out.

Ripe for Romance ?
By Mimi Lopez
(concised)

The symptoms are easily detectable: major heart palpitations, insomnia from nights spent tossing and turning, a significant decrease in appetite, speech difficulty at the most inopportune times, wistful, faraway looks and an inability to control the motor act of smiling. You may find yourself listening to mushy songs more often. You talk about him/her constantly. You get acquainted with the built-in VCR in your head the replays those shared moments over until you fall asleep. You realize you’re never sighed so much in your entire life. You look at him and you’re positive you’re seeing an angel.
The diagnosis? Simple. You’re in love!

Loving someone…
The Wrong Reason: He/She looks like Hollywood’s hottest hearthrob.
The Right Reason: You don’t need his/her looks to make your heart throb.

The Wrong Reason: He/She gives you sparkling diamonds.
The Right Reason: His/Her eyes sparkle like diamonds when he/she looks into yours.

The Wrong Reason: He/She completes you.
The Right Reason: He/She complements your completeness.

The Wrong Reason: You love the person that he/she is.
The Right Reason: You love the person that he/she is, was , and will be.

The Wrong Reason: You’re head over heels in love.
The Right Reason: You love him/her from his head down to his.her heels.

The Wrong Reason would be that: You cannot live without him or her.
Because the Right Reason is: You’ll very well be able to, but you’d rather not.

The NOs to saying YES
SO he’s posed the question and you’re raring to commit. Stick to the cooler or more conventional ways of concretizing your concurrence. Steer clear of doing it in the ways that follow, among others:

-Hold two donuts or mints with holes up to form the word “Oo.”
-Hit the play button on your sound system, look him in the eye and smile from ear to ear to the first strains of “Baby I’m A Want You.”
-Feign multi-linguistic ability and say “Wo ay ni” instead of “I love you” (lest you don’t mind him asking “Whoa, you what!?” in response)
-Show up in full cheerleader get up, pop pop in hand and spell YES with your body (E would be tough, I’m telling you!)
-end-

My diagnosis:
Okay. This is weird. But I can say that I’ve been experiencing most of the symptoms. Oh no. I’d rather not check up on the Right or Wrong Reasons thing. I just might end up realizing that I am in love. Damn. :o

My Prescription:
I’ll just have to wait. Wait for him to do something. Until that happens, I’ll just be here, waiting…with a smile on my face. Ü

*So, you think you’re in love? Post a comment. :D*

- n|x - was loved at 1:05 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~



Simple Joys

Simple : meaning trouble-free, uncomplicated, undemanding, effortless, plain, minimal, unpretentious, regular
Joy: meaning delight, happiness, thrill, enjoyment, ecstasy, bliss, source of pleasure, wonder

Putting all these together, we get “Simple Joys”.
We all have them. You know, those things that make the muscles in your mouth work its way up to your cheekbones to form an arc we all call a “smile”. Those things that make you feel this tingly feeling inside also count. Simple joys may vary from the cheapest thing you own to the grandest act you’ve done. These are plain actions or things in life that fill your heart with ecstasy, and these things that we should never ever take for granted. Since it’s almost Christmas and all, I thought that maybe I could share with you some of my simple joys. I know some you will be able to relate with them so feel free to read on and see if the thought of these things make you smile as well.Ü

- Chocnut!
- Receving a text from a friend
- Catching your favorite show on tv
- Tuesdays!
- Having a good talk with someone I love (like my Mom)
- Being tickled (hehe)
- The smell of freshly baked pandesal
- Taho in the morning!
- Going online and seeing a lot of lighted smiley faces on YM (people who are online too)
- Hearing a good song on the radio
- Weighing myself and realizing that I lost weight (harhar)
- A good hair day
- Owning a really nice pen (simple enough)
- Writing a good entry in my diary
- Finishing a poem
- Catching my favorite video on MTV
- Seeing Brent Javier, Tom Welling, Marc Abaya, or Mark Herras on tv (nyahaha)
- A smile from a friend (makes my day)
- Being praised
- Hearing someone call me “Nix” or some other term of endearment (haha)
- Waking up in the morning to see “5 new messages” on my phone (plus 4 missed calls) (you get the picture)
- Passing by *someone’s* house
- Window shopping
- Spotting a celebrity
- Receving compliments
- Cracking a good joke (and having people actually laugh at it)
- Reading through my old diaries and laughing at what I had written
- Being hugged
- Being greeted by a friend
- Staring at someone’s eyes for more than 3 seconds (hehe)
- Having someone call you on the phone
- Lollipops
- Receiving a gift (whether they be chips or a brand new cellphone…they all count!)
- Getting an email from an old friend
- Laughing at my old pictures
- Seeing my more recent pictures and realizing how much I’ve changed
- Hanging out with friends
- Having had a good talk with God Ü
- Watching a good movie on TV
- A text from a friend I haven’t heard from in a long time
- Watching cartoons
- Waking up with the sun shining brightly through my window
- Dancing in my room like a broadway-star-wannabe
- Seeing my crush stare at me (Lol)
- Watching my friends perform anything (makes me so proud..)
- Kilig moments
- Seeing other people have their kilig moments
- Getting bargains
- A trip with the whole family
- Pigging out
- Early Mornings
- Late nights
- Cool weather
- Suspension of classes!
- Being inspired ;p
- Hearing a good story from a friend
- Receiving quotes
- Receiving “Peace be with yous”
- Taking a long refreshing bath
- Reading a good book
- Receiving a new friend request or message in Friendster (haha)
- A text from someone who wishes you well
- Smiley faces
- Casual talks
- Hearing the words “I love you” :o
- Gentlemen
- Roses!
- Splurging in chocolates
- Playing with my brothers
- Having my youngest brother tease me
- Being teased (haha)
- Coming up with a good outfit
- A text from *him*
- Seeing someone change for the better because of me
- Drinking ice cold water after a tiring day
- Dancing!
- Winning a competition (or just merely competing)
- Getting good grades
- Being appreciated
- Having someone do something really sweet for me
- Hearing someone play the guitar or piano
- Pag kinukulit
- Being able to draw something that actually looks like something (hehe)
- Doodling
- Being invited to go out
- Being allowed to go out
- Being allowed to go out and stay later than usual
- Talking to my Dad in the car
- A day without having to fight with my brother
- Having someone say sorry to you and actually meaning it
- Forvgiving/Reconciling with someone
- Making someone feel better
- Giving advice that actually helped someone
- Sharing kilig stories
- Helping someone with his/her lovelife
- Seeing two people get together/fall in love over time
- Getting a high/perfect score in some test (especially in Philo or Physics)
- Listening to my favorite songs
- Getting something for free
- Seeing someone post a comment on my blog (ahem)
- Seeing *someone*
- Laughing my ass off for hours
- Acting all stupid and just simply having fun with friends
- Coming up with a new idea
- Having someone call or text you for the first time
- Overcoming a fear
- Having *someone* PM me as soon as I go online
- Getting more than what you asked for
- Cute puppies!
- Chatting with someone
- Putting a smile on someone’s face
- Hearing stories from a friend about a *someone* who did *something* for you
- A simple greeting from *someone*
- Receiving notes
- Being thanked
- Being loved

…and a whole lot more. :D

*What are your simple joys? Post a comment.Ü*
- n|x - was loved at 11:32 AM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Monday, December 20, 2004


Pasko ng Noypi

Cool. It’s the 20th of December already. 5 days to go till we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ! (Hallelujah!Ü)

I was thinking of what I could write here in lieu with the season. We’ve been battered by a lot of bad news this month. The tragedies that the 2 storms have caused, the death of FPJ, the death of De Venecia’s daughter would be some of the many arrows that hit our country right in the chest. This may not be the way we wanted to end year 2004, but we still have reasons to smile about don’t we? Whether it be about our families, the food on our tables, the christmas bonuses, the presents, or your crush, we can still definitely pinpoint some things that we can be thankful for this Christmas.

I was still reading this book by Bob Ong, and in it was a list of Filipino traditions which we’ve come to carry out whenever we welcome Yuletide season. I thought the way the author wrote it was perfect already as it was for readers, so here it is, copied from his book entitled “Bakit baliktad magbasa ng libro ang mga Pilipino?”

“Pero may mga tradisyon ang Pilipino na kahit budburan mo ng snow e mananatiling Pilipino. Tignan mo na lang kung paano nagiging unique ang Pasko natin:

1. Simula December 16, siyam na araw na gumigising nang maaga ang mga tao para sa Misa de Gallo o “Rooster’s Mass.” Kilala rin ito sa tawag na Asimbang Gabi dahil isinasagawa ang misa bago sumikat ang araw. Nagsimula ang matandang kaugalian na ‘to dahil sa kagustuhan noon ng mga Pilipinong magsasaka na makadalo sa nobena, pero dahil sa buong araw silang nasa bukid at wala namang misa sa gabi, ginawa itong madaling araw.

2. Laging may kaakibat na bibingka’t puto-bumbong ang Misa de Gallo, siguro kung wala ‘to, mangangalahati ang tao at konti lang makakakumpleto sa siyam na misa. Pero pag nabuo mo raw ang nobena, pwede ka mag-“wish” at magkaka-totoo ito…parang nag-bonus ka sa video game. Bukod d’yan, pwede ka ring magyabang kahit kanino: “ALAM MO BANG NABUO KO ANG SIMBANG GABI?”

3. Sa gabi ng December 16, umpisa na rin ang raket ng mga Pinoy na kung tawagin ay “carloing.” Excited na tinugtuog ng mga bata ang tambourine nilang yari sa pinitpit na tansan, at tambol na gawa sa binutas at plinastikan na lata ng gatas. Ihanda mo na ang tenga mong marindi sa “Kung sakaling kami’y perwisyo, pasensya na kayo kami’y namamasko” at “We wish you a Merry Chirstmas (3X) and a Happy New Year.” Laging magkasunond yang dalawang yan. Pag narinig mo ang “Pasensya na kayo kami’y namamasko,” makipagpustahan ka, tiyak kasunod n’yan ang “We wish you a Merry Chirstmas…”

Eto pa, pag bumaba sa piso ang ibinigay mo sa mga carloer, yari ka sa parteng “Thank you (2X) AMBABARAT ninyo, thank you!” Pag bingyan mo naman sila ng malaking halaga, sasabihan ka ng “…AMBABAIT ninyo,” pero gabi-gabi ka rin nilang babalikan dahil ayos ka mag-tip. Kaya dapat marunong kang dumiskarte.

“Ang Pasko ay suma---“
“PATAWAAAD!!!”

Pero sa mga bata lang ‘yan effective. Pag mga matanda na ang humirit, yari ka dahil de-sobre! Mapipilitan kang magbigay, at dehins pwede barya. Pero sulit naman dahil kadalasan e may dala pa silang karaoke, tapos may dance number…si Kuya Germs na lang ang kulang, variety show na!

4. Meron tayong mga Christmas tree na plastic, Chirstmas tree na alabre, Christmas tree na kulay puti (White Christmas?), Christmas tree na mga mga tuyong sanga, Christmas tree na kahoy, Christmas tree na 1 foot (bonsai), at Christmas tree na walis ting-ting. Hindi pa kasama dyan ang sanlibong species ng Christmas tree na nadidiskubre ng mga scientist sa Divisoria tuwing Disyembre.

5. May Christmas lights kahit sa mga squatters area na walang linya ng kuryente, at mga bahay na walang kuntador. Maglalagay at maglalagay ng Christmas lights ang mga Pinoy kahit pa brownout tuwing gabi. Pagsisikapang korteheng anghel, star, Christmas tree, candy cane..o kahit pa ampersand ang mga ilaw mapaganda lang ang bintana at matalo ang display ng Manila COD>

6. Meron tayong parol na iba’t-ibang hugis, kulay, laki, itsura, at yari. Lhat ng kaya mong ma-imagine, meron na!

7. Lagi tayong may keso de bola at hamon na parehong di naman talaga masarap kainin dahil parang mga higanteng butil lang ng asin sa sobrang alat.

8. Nagsasabit tayo ng medyas sa bintana sa bisperas ng Pasko. Galing daw ito sa western tradition ng pagsasampay ng medyas sa fireplace para matuyo o mainitan pag winter. Dahil sa chimney dumadaan si Santa Claus, sa mdyas nya na raw inilalagay ang aginaldo. Pero dito sa atin, dahil wala namang fireplace ang mga Pilipino, sa bintana na isinasabit ang mga medyas…para lagyan ni Santa Clause ng limang piso at Bazooka Bubble Gum.

9. Matinik ang mga Pilipino sa mga ninong at ninang. Sa pagpili pa lang, isinasaalang-alang na ang Pasko. At pag-sapit nito, wari mo e meron silang global positioning system na magtuturo sa kinaroroonan ng mga ninong at ninang ng anak nila. Di lang yan, matakasan man ang mga hingian ng aginaldo, asahan mong iapapalala at ipapaalala pa rin yan ng mga magulang ng bata pag nagkita sila kahit sa July.

10. Ang mga dekorasyon, Christmas songs, at espiritu ng Pasko ay nag-uumpisa ng September. Basta may “-ber” na ang pangalan ng buwan, Pasko na. Natatapos ito sa Feast of Three Kings sa ikalawang linggo ng Enero ng sumusunod na taon, pero pwede pa ma-extend yan. Hanggang tinatamad pa magligpit ng Christmas tree ang mga tao, Pasko pa! At huwag mong isiping may kinalaman dyan ang mga Kastila, dahil may mga historical accounts na dalawang-daang taon bago pa dumating dito sila Magellan, meron nang “Pasko” ang mga Pilipino. Tindi!

*Want to make my Christmas merry? Lol. Please post a comment. :D*
- n|x - was loved at 9:58 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~



The people you love the most are the ones who hurt you the most.

As soon as the hour hand hit the number five on our clock, I raced to the kitchen (I almost slipped by the way coz I was wearing my new slippers) and looked for the rice dispenser. I put my rice-cooking skills into action and in a matter of 20 minutes or so, our rice was ready. I texted my Dad and asked what was to be cooked for dinner. He didn’t reply, so I assumed he’d be arriving early to cook dinner himself. I waited…and waited some more until I finally heard the “Beep! Beep!” of our van. I was in the middle of watching Martin Mystery on Disney, but I decided to turn the tv off anyway to see my Dad. He changed his clothes and went straight to the kitchen. He cooked some fish and “lomo” and brought out some vegetables. I, on the other hand, called my brother Niño and we set the table for dinner.

A whole hour passed and I realized that my mom wasn’t home yet. I assumed that she probably had some extra work in her office and so my Dad, together with me and my 3 brothers, went ahead and ate our dinner.

I then texted my mom: “Mommy, r u having rice 4 dinner?” and after a few seconds her reply was: “Yes, gutom na gutom na nga ako eh. Tel Dadi to cook d marinated chick...Ask Derrick to…You should…” It was a long message actually. Let me not expound on the utos she made, but well, you get the picture.

Earlier this afternoon, I borrowed my brother’s phone coz my phone’s battery was already empty. I inserted my SUN sim in his phone and used it to reply to those who texted me. Little did I know that what I did would cause me more hurt again…

My mom arrived at around 8:20 pm. She had a lot of bags with her. They contained wrapped presents which her officemates probably gave. And I was actually surprised to hear her say my name. I overheard the word “NikkI” so I thought “maybe we’re okay now…” But no…

The moment she entered our front door, my brother shouted, “Mommy, may pasalubong kayo?” (Niño never ceases to ask that question every afternoon. That’s one of his favorite lines, aside from “Gutom na ako!”, “Ate, help!”, “PS-2! PS-2! PS-2!”) But then, she started shouting. It’s her nature actually…to shout, that is. Her voice normally has this loud high pitch. She’s the typical “loud” mom. And no, don’t get me wrong here. That doesn’t make her less of a mom to me. I think that’s what actually makes her unique…in a twisted kind of way. She shouts a lot yes. And so does my Dad. So imagine the fiasco I witness every day of my life, add to that the sound of my brothers’ laughs, teasing, gadgets, and wrestling matches. I guess that’s why I’m the quiet and reserved type. My whole family’s loud…so why should I add to their noise? I mean, being “loud” isn’t bad, and I hope you get what my definition of “loud” is. But through the 16 years of my life, I have come to learn the art of just listening. I keep my mouth shut if my silly voice is not needed, and I open it and let some breath out once my ability to speak is needed.

Well, anyway, let me cut this short.

I was actually thinking of pouring out my grudge a while back. Something happened just a few minutes ago, and well…I was hurt…again…by my mom. Last night, I couldn’t help but cry after she blamed me again for something I didn’t do. I just kept my mouth shut. If it was in her nature to shout, it was in mine to shut up. Whenever I’m scolded, critized, or whenever we get into fights, I never ever answer back. I just let them say what they have to say, I then let it get to my head, then either I take a deep breath and keep silent for a while or I take an even deeper breath and head straight to my room (or the bathroom) and cry my heart out. The crying takes a minimum of 5 minutes and a maximum of…an hour? It depends on how much I was hurt, how much I wanted to pity myself during those moments, how much strength I had, how much willpower I possesed, how much tissue paper was available, the time and venue involved…well, you get the picture.

But now [time: 8:58 PM] the grudge I was feeling 20 minutes ago is all gone. Whatever happened did hurt me. And it’s still in me. But what else can I do? I love this woman. If there’s one person who I’d be willing to die for, it would be my mom. (Sht, what’s this tear doing in my right eye? Lol) It’s funny though, coz I as I am typing this, I am eating this brownie (that my Mom handed me a while ago) and she, by the way, is just a few meters away from me. (Oh correction. Time: 9:00 pm – My mom and I are on the SAME ROOM. Must be discreet..Ü) Oh goodness, I stand corrected. [Time: 9:02 pm] My mom is just right behind me! Reading a magazine! Oh wait…[Time: 9:03 pm] She just exited the door. Whew! Okay..I can type normally again now. :D

Anyway, my point is: the people you love the most are the ones who hurt you the most. For some people this may mean something like being dumped by the girl they love, or getting into a really big fight with your brother (complete with punches and pushes). It means a lot of things to many people, but the essence is still the same. We do get hurt, under different circumstances, and by different people. But no hurt could ever compare to the hurt you feel when it’s caused by the person you love the most. In my case, it would be my Mom. Though I am temporarily scarred by the things she say or do at times, my mature mind tells me that these are all mere instantaneous mother-daughter things. I know she loves me…I really, really do. And she does show and tell me that. But I do get hurt. I do cry. I do get mad. I do turn numb. But above all these, I do love. I may love a whole lot of people…God, my whole family, my friends, *someone*, but hey, I’m ready to jump off a cliff anytime for this person I call “Mommy”, and that to me, is one great love.


- n|x - was loved at 9:06 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


Sunday, December 19, 2004


Batangueña ako.
Great…just great.

I sit here and gaze upon the bluntness of this computer screen with a printed purple number one on its upper left corner. This boy is sitting right next to me playing some RPG with monsters and palms and stuff. There are 5 more young boys near me, and my cousin, Marian, is a computer away from me (she’s at computer number 3). Oh, and the name of the boy beside me is “Ferdi” which reminded me of, well, my friend Ferdi whom I was texting last night. Lol. And the Ferdi beside me just hollered “Yea, boi!!” to the boy opposite him…” Sheesh.

If you’re wondering why I’m blabbing about PC#1 and Ferdi (which I’m assuming you are), it’s because I’m here at a small internet café inside my lolo’s village in Lipa, Batangas. Yes, sa Batangas po. My parents are both from this province…my mom’s from San Jose and my Dad’s from Lipa, so I can say that I am a..err..batangueña. Hehe..

Anyway, so why am I here? Yesterday was the 40th day after my great grand lola’s death. I don’t know what you call it..but yea, the 40 days thing (hihi..) Too bad we didn’t make it to the “padasal” on time…we were late (as usual…family ko pa :o) But we got to talk to our relatives and stuff when we were there (in San Jose, that is) and I super miss my cousins there too. I have a lot of cousins there who are older than me, so I get to talk to them and stuff pa. I’m especially closer to 3 cousins of mine…Joy, Baby, and Tin-Tin. We’ve been through a lot. From “making sungkit” the mangoes from our lola’s land (haha) to talks about boyfriends and heartbreaks…we’ve been through them all. We’’ve laughed a whole lot of laughs together..we even act like 6-year-olds at times…but we too have definitely cried a sea of tears. Like just 2 days after my birthday this year, Tin-Tin’s father (my tito) was shot and murdered for some unknown reason (actually, it was a case of mistaken identity..which made the pain even worse for us) –Sigh-
Oh well, a lot of things have changed since then. And I hope these changes have all been better for us. ;)

I should stop typing about history and start talking about NOW coz as I take a peek at the lower right corner of this computer.. It says: “|Time left: 14 min 10 sec” –Sigh-

I wanna go home!!
I’ll be home by tonight..by I wanna go home now!
Sheesh..
Sorry for being pathetic again.
It’s a girl’s thing. You know…
I’ve been curling up in pain since last night...and due to my lack of things to do, I just try to ignore the fact that…blood..is…okay, never mind. I might sicken the guys who read my blogs if I narrate what happens during a girl’s..err..period. Lol.

Time left: 11 min 30 sec

Hmm..
Oh, I also attended Simbang Gabi this morning! I think it’s called Misa de Gallo actually..hehe..
But I woke up at 4:00 am (despite the fact that I slept at around 12 already :o)
It was my first time to attend mass that early. I went with my Tita and cousin.
I love the weather here in Batangas. It was super duper cold! Talo pa aircon! Haha. Everyone had jackets on and I could see that not many people had the guts to bathe themselves with water before going to Church due to the extremely cold weather. (and yes, I too didn’t take a bath before attending mass..haha..:p)
The mass was okay, it even seemed to me that the mass only took like 30 minutes or something.
There were a lot of teenagers in the Church too…(majority of them were…guys. Hahaha..)
But anyway, I just really love the morning weather here. Yung tipong masarap may kayakap habang naglalakad ka..lalo na ngayon Christmas pa. Lol.. (You can slap me now. :D)

Time left: 5 min 50 sec

Oh no, I guess I gotta go.
Hope I get to go home in a while already.
Whoever you are reading this blog of mine, thanks for taking the time off to read my pointless thoughts. :D

& oh yea, Merry Christmas everyone ! :D

- n|x - was loved at 1:45 PM
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~I will keep your secrets. Just think of me as the pages of your diary.~


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